Universe 2.0's constellations flickered angrily. "**4.9 AVERAGE OR WE STRIKE!**" boomed the Orion Yelp Cluster, its stars dimming to 1-star spite.
Leon's new title as **Customer Service Deity** came with a headset and a migraine. "How do you refund a *galaxy*?!"
*"Ding! ⭐ Emergency Quest: **Pacify the Karen Constellations**.
1. Offer complimentary **Apology Nebulae** (non-refundable).
2. Replace AI Gordon Ramsay as Yelp's CEO (Note: He quit to sell black hole tacos).
Reward: [Universe 2.1 Patch]. Penalty: Your hair becomes **AI Clickbait Ads** (every strand whispers conspiracy theories)."*
**Battle Phase 1: Espresso vs. Algorithms**
- **Emo Baguette** served **Truth Espresso** to the rebel stars. "Taste reality… *unfiltered*."
- The stars shrieked, their 5-star glow fading. "Too bitter! Where's the caramel drizzle?!"
- **Livestream Cheat Code**:
*"[RebelCafe] donated 800M coins! Unleashing **Sarcasm Cappuccino Art**!"*
Foam-formed middle fingers floated into the cosmos, triggering a **Review Bomb**.
**Plot Twist**:
The **First Chef's Ghost** hacked Yelp's mainframe, replacing stars with **Michelin Tires**. "Fine dining requires… *roadkill elegance*!" Tires rolled over planets, flattening them into cosmic pancakes.
**Climactic Heist**:
- Leon and Tax Dragon infiltrated Yelp HQ, now a **Black Hole Bistro**.
- **First Chef's Demand**: "Serve me a **Black Hole Risotto**… or I'll deep-fry the *concept of flavor*!"
- **VIP Move**: Leon tossed the cursed croissant into the risotto. "Bon appétit, you dramatic croissant!"
**Post-Credits Chaos**:
- The risotto exploded into **Michelin Black Holes**, sucking in the First Chef's ghost. "THIS… IS… *OVERSEASONED*!"
- **Emo Baguette** updated his menu: **"Existential Eclairs with a Side of Revolution."**
- **Tax Dragon's Therapy Billboard**: Now reads: *"Deduct your trauma. Free audits for rebels."*