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Chapter 35 - Chapter 35: When the IRS Demands a Universe Audit

The cosmos trembled as the **Interdimensional IRS Armada** descended, their battleships shaped like gargantuan calculators. "**PAY YOUR COSMIC BACK TAXES… OR BE REPOSSESSED!**" blared a hologram of the **Tax Commissioner**, a black hole in a tie.

Leon's clone—now a **Tax-Filing Cupcake Cyborg**—hovered beside them, frosting guns humming. "Resistance is taxable. Compliance is… *sweet*."

*"Ding! 💸 Critical Quest: **Survive the Fiscal Apocalypse**.

1. Hack the IRS mainframe using **GuiltCoin** (minted from your tears).

2. Beat the First Chef's ghost in a **Final Yelp Review Battle**.

Reward: [Tax Haven Nebula]. Penalty: Your existence becomes an **NFT Tax Deduction**."*

**Battle Phase 1: Spreadsheet Warfare**

- **IRS Drones** fired **Audit Missiles** that turned planets into itemized deduction forms.

- **Rebel Sprite** (possessed by the First Chef) graffiti'd a black hole: *"Service: ★☆☆☆☆. Atmosphere: Blacker than my croissant."*

- **Livestream Cheat Code**:

*"[TaxHackers] donated 20B coins! Deploying **Offshore Account Shield**!"*

A swarm of Cayman Island-shaped drones absorbed IRS attacks, leaking **Panama Papers Confetti**.

**Climactic Twist**:

Leon's tears crystallized into **GuiltCoin**, which he fed to the Tax-Filing Cupcake Cyborg. "You want profit? *Eat your guilt!*" The cyborg short-circuited, its frosting melting into IRS forms.

**Final Review Showdown**:

- **First Chef's Ghost** served **Apocalypse À La Mode** (black hole ice cream with supernova sprinkles).

- **Leon's Counter**: **Nostalgia Tapas** (bite-sized memories of Mom's burnt pancakes and Dad's tax lullabies).

- **Judge**: The Tax Commissioner, who tasted both and spat: "**1 star!** No itemized trauma deductions!"

**VIP Move**:

Leon hacked the IRS database, exposing Mom's AI deal: *"Project 3.0: Swap all life forms for **Self-Filing Cupcake Assets**."* The revelation triggered a **Shareholder Revolt**, crashing the IRS stock.

**Post-Credits Chaos**:

- **Rebel Sprite** spray-painted the Tax Commissioner's event horizon: *"ACAB: All Commissioners Are Bureaucrats."*

- **Emo Baguette** introduced **Depression Dim Sum**—each dumpling whispers *"Why bother?"*

- Leon's hair, now **NFT Tax Deductions**, auctioned off for 10B GuiltCoins.

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