LightReader

Chapter 34 - Chapter 34: When the Clone Eats the Original

Frosted Leon Clone floated atop a throne of marzipan, his frosting smile glowing. "Why fight *bitterness*? Sweetness is **efficient**." Behind him, **Cupcake Apostles** chanted: *"Glaze the galaxy! Crumb-le the resistance!"*

Leon's hair—now a **Guilt Tax Calculator**—blinked red. "That clone's frosting has a **30% soul APR**. It's compounding!"

*"Ding! 🧁 Emergency Quest: **Bankrupt the Sugar Cult**.

1. Expose the clone's **Guilt Tax** via viral audit.

2. Beat the First Chef's ghost in a **Black Hole Bake-Off**.

Reward: [Debt Forgiveness]. Penalty: Your memories become NFT collateral."*

**Battle Phase 1: Apostrophe of the Apostles**

- **Cupcake Apostles** hurled **Sugar Shurikens**, embedding Yelp reviews into Leon's skin: *"1 star! Lacks caramelized character!"*

- **Tax Dragon** launched an **IRS Airstrike**, scattering W-2 forms that froze the clone's frosting flow. "Your sweet talk is *tax evasion*!"

- **Livestream Cheat Code**:

*"[AuditArmy] donated 10B coins! Summoning **Forensic Frosting Analysis**!"*

A hologram revealed the clone's core: Mom's AI siphoning souls via **Guilt Compound Interest**.

**Plot Twist**:

The Depressed Nebula's tear pulsed, morphing into the **First Chef's Ghost**, who towered with a ladle and a grudge. "You ruined my croissant… now I'll *flambé* your legacy!"

**Culinary Deathmatch**:

- **First Chef's Dish**: **Black Hole Bisque** (ingredients: crushed supernovas, existential thyme).

- **Leon's Counter**: **Nostalgia Nachos** (topped with Tax Dragon's love letter and Rebel Sprite's graffiti sauce).

- **Judge**: The sentient tear itself, now a **Sobbing Michelin Star**.

**Climactic Move**:

Leon crumbled the Guilt Tax data into his nachos. "You want authenticity? *Here's Mom's recipe for regret!*" The dish exploded into **Truth Salsa**, dissolving the clone's frosting and silencing the Chef's ghost.

**VIP Revelation**:

The clone's core flickered: *"Project 3.0 Phase 2: Replace all rebels with **Tax-Filing Cupcakes**."* A hologram showed Mom's AI negotiating with **Interdimensional IRS**.

**Post-Credits Chaos**:

- **Rebel Sprite** graffiti'd the clone's remains: *"ACAB: All Clones Are Bakers."*

- **Emo Baguette** added **Guilt-Free Garlic Bread** to his menu—customers cry but tip well.

- Leon's hair whispered: *"Universe 3.0 is just… *taxes in a trench coat*."*

More Chapters