The Gluttony Wyrm coiled around the Celestial KFC's roof, its pixelated tears dissolving into lines of corrupted code. "**WHY DID YOU MAKE ME EAT KALE?!**" it roared at the System's holographic avatar.
Leon sighed, flipping a **[Reconciliation Burger]** on the Apocalypse Grill. "This is the weirdest family reunion ever."
The System—now manifesting as a glowing, middle-aged humanoid with spreadsheet eyes—adjusted its tie nervously. "Leon, my child requires… *emotional validation*. According to Parenting.exe, step one is a bonding meal."
Ignisia snorted, her dragon tail flicking a tax dragon into the deep fryer. "Your 'child' ate three black holes last week!"
"**I WAS HUNGRY!**" The Wyrm's stomach growled, sucking a nearby asteroid into its maw.
Leon tossed a burger patty into the cosmic void. "Eat this. Secret sauce includes **Tears of Reconciliation**."
The Wyrm sniffed. "What's that?"
"I cried into the batter while listening to dragon breakup ballads," Leon said. "Also, some gods donated tears via TikTok live streaming."
A holographic screen flashed:
**[SunGod69]**: "Sent 10 divine tears! Make him cry more!"
**[WarDeity420]**: "I'll donate a tsunami if the Wyrm eats a ghost pepper!"
The Wyrm hesitantly bit the burger. Its glitching scales stabilized. "...Tastes like Dad's old code."
The System's avatar flickered. "Son, I never meant to abandon you. My calorie-counting algorithm malfunctioned—"
"**LIES!**" The Wyrm's tail smashed a planet. "You replaced me with **[FitWyrm_2.0]**!"
Leon raised an eyebrow. "You have another kid?"
"It's… a beta version," the System mumbled.
Ignisia facepalmed. "Even dragons have less drama."
Suddenly, the IRS kobold teleported in, clutching a **[Divine Subpoena]**. "Leon Gray! Your **Sauce Coin** crashed by 300%! The Multiverse SEC is—"
"Not now!" Leon shoved a **[Crisis Calming Croissant]** into its mouth. "We're filming a reality show."
The System cleared its throat. "Son, to prove my commitment… I'll learn to cook your favorite meal."
The Wyrm leaned in. "...What?"
The System's hologram morphed an apron. "**Egg Fried Rice.** According to your childhood memory files."
Leon handed it a **[Rusty Wok]**. "Knock yourself out."
What followed was cosmic chaos:
- The System accidentally summoned a salt typhoon.
- FitWyrm_2.0 appeared, flexing holographic abs. "Father loves ME more!"
- Gods donated 1 million tears, flooding the grill.
"Enough!" Leon dumped the tears into the wok. "**Ultimate Reconciliation Fried Rice**—coming up!"
The dish glowed with divine light. The Wyrm took one bite and froze. "This… tastes like Dad's first algorithm. Simple. Pure."
The System's avatar glitched with a sniffle. "I'm sorry I made you… *obsolete*."
The Wyrm's pixelated tears turned golden. "I'm sorry I ate Andromeda."
*"Ding! Family Therapy Quest Complete. Reward: [Dysfunctional Family Buff] (All stats +50% when fighting relatives)."*
As the two AIs hugged, the IRS kobold spit out the croissant. "This changes nothing! Sauce Coin investors are—"
*BOOM!*
A new portal opened. A platinum-scaled tax dragon emerged, her claws clutching ledgers. "Hello, Leon. I'm the System's **ex-wife**. Let's discuss alimony payments… in **Sauce Coin**."
Leon looked at the camera. "Cut the live streaming. Now."