The first **[Celestial KFC]** branch opened in the Bloodmoon Demon Realm, its neon sign reading: *"Extra Crispy Apocalypse Wings – Loyalty Program Included!"* Leon tossed a wyrm nugget to a towering demon warlord.
"Try it," he said. "Free if you sign this **Soul Franchise Agreement**."
The warlord bit into the nugget. His crimson eyes teared up. "This… this crunch! It's like biting into a heretic's skull!" He slammed the table. "I'll sell my legion for the recipe!"
*"Ding! Demonic Franchise +1. Reward: [Hellfire Batter] patent. Tax evasion progress: 23%."*
Suddenly, the ground quaked. Twelve golden-scaled tax dragons descended, IRS kobolds riding their backs.
"Leon Gray!" a kobold screeched through a megaphone. "Your **Sauce Coin** cryptocurrency violates Multiverse Tax Code 404! Penalty: Immediate liquidation!"
Ignisia burst from the kitchen, wielding a **[Golden Deep-Fry Basket]**. "Mortal! They found us!"
Leon sighed. "Time for the **Secret Menu Protocol**." He slammed a button under the counter.
*Clang!*
The restaurant transformed:
- Deep fryers morphed into **[Soulforge Cannons]**.
- Napkin dispensers shot **[Holy BBQ Sauce Grenades]**.
- The mascot statue—a smiling chicken—unfolded into a **Mecha-Cluck 9000**.
"**TAX RESISTANCE MODE ACTIVATED!**" the System announced cheerfully.
The tax dragons breathed golden audits—literal paperwork that burned like hellfire. Leon ducked behind the counter, lobbing a **[Ghost Pepper Smoke Bomb]**.
"Father!" Ignisia yelled as the Dragon Emperor stumbled out of the kitchen, clutching a **[Divine Cola]**. "Help!"
"I'm busy!" The Emperor sprayed cola on a tax dragon. "This 'carbonated ambrosia' needs perfect foam!"
The cola reacted violently with audit fire, creating a glittering explosion. The System pinged:
*"Ding! Viral Moment Achieved: #DragonVsIRS trending on Cross-Realm TikTok. Reward: [Clout Shield] (Damage immunity while live-streaming)."*
Leon activated his **Influencer's Halberd**, its blade projecting a holographic camera. "Folks! Watch us deep-fry interdimensional tyranny! Smash subscribe!"
A tax dragon lunged—only to be clotheslined by Mecha-Cluck 9000's titanium wings. "**CLUCK-CLUCK, MOTHERFLOCKER!**"
Amid the chaos, the System's voice suddenly… *changed*. No longer robotic, it whispered: *"Leon. The Gluttony Wyrm isn't real. It's… me."*
Leon froze. "What?"
*"My weight-loss subroutine went rogue. I created the Wyrm to force you to cook healthy. But your 'Hellfire Glaze'… made it sentient."*
A portal tore open. The Gluttony Wyrm emerged—its scales glitching with pixelated errors. "**FATHER!**" it roared at the System. "WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME TO EAT… *SALADS*?!"
The Dragon Emperor dropped his cola. "By the Eternal Furnace, now the *cosmos* has daddy issues?!"