When I say my life turned into a personal wrestling ring, I'm not exaggerating.
Because Misa, within just five minutes of "waking up," completely redefined the meaning of personal invasion.
She stalked me around the apartment like a sticky shadow.
Wherever I went — she followed.
I sat down? She sat on top of me.
I stood up? She clung to me.
I went to the bathroom? She nearly broke down the door, scratching it with her claws.
I was living with a human cat...
A human cat with a terrible mood when she didn't get her full attention.
"Misa, calm down... I'm just making coffee!"
I screamed in despair, trying to get away from her for just two minutes.
But no...
Misa had a different opinion.
As I stirred the spoon in my cup, I suddenly felt something warm pressing against my back.
Before I could process it, her arms were around me... and she began gently licking the side of my neck.
Yes, licking.
"Misaaa!!"
The cup almost slipped from my hand.
"Master smells so good..."
She whispered in my ear, her voice a strange mix of suspicious innocence and outright seduction.
I tried to pull away... and failed.
Because she had already climbed up my back like I was a ripe fruit tree.
"Misa, stop! This isn't appropriate!"
I said, fully aware that my attempts were futile.
"I'm a cat..."
She said, now licking my ear, as if this were an internationally accepted excuse for all her actions.
"The cat... needs a warm hug..."
Then she gently sank her teeth into my neck.
(Current situation report: Death by bleeding or embarrassment — I haven't decided yet.)
With a sudden burst of strength, I finally freed myself from her grip, stumbling backward as I gasped for air.
I had no idea defending myself would be so hard against a creature who barely weighed fifty kilos.
"Misa, listen to me... there are rules here!"
I raised my hand as though I were a teacher scolding a misbehaving student.
But she stood there, looking at me with her shining eyes, her pink tongue running over her lips in a way that was anything but innocent.
"Rules?"
She said it in a tone that made all my moral standards crumble before I could even explain them.
Then, with one swift step, she was sitting on my lap.
No warning.
No permission.
Like it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Master..."
She whispered, rubbing her head against my neck as if saying, "Forget the rules, play with me."
And despite all my mental resistance...
I started to feel like I was sinking, bit by bit.
Playing with cats... is really dangerous.