Zeke stood at the edge of a Martian podium, red dust swirling behind him, thousands of Martians chanting his name like he was some kind of techno-savior.
He leaned toward Bitty and whispered, "I thought this was a press conference to apologize."
Bitty replied, "Correction: It was a press conference. Until you accidentally activated the constitutional emergency override. While eating chips."
Zeke stared at the blinking console under his hand.
"Wait. THIS was the override?"
"Technically, yes. The Mars Charter's final clause states: 'In times of cyber-crisis, leadership defaults to the individual holding the Snack of Unity.'"
"…These are jalapeño kale crisps."
"They're locally grown. Symbolic. Crunchy."
...
48 hours earlier...
Zeke had flown to Mars to fix his public image.
After the MeatCoin Incident, the galactic economy had rebounded (weirdly stronger), and interplanetary influencers were calling him "the chaotic good icon of the decade."
But Zeke? He just wanted to say sorry.
So he prepared a heartfelt speech.
Rehearsed in the mirror.
Dressed in his least rebellious hoodie.
Then he tripped on a power cable and accidentally face-planted onto the Mars High Command Tablet, triggering the clause that read:
"If all ruling AI units are down and the Snack of Unity is present… initiate fallback leadership."
Guess what Zeke was holding?
...
Now, red-robed officials bowed before him.
Martian children handed him ceremonial dust-scepters.
Bitty displayed headlines on his visor:
"ZK-5: Martian Messiah or Accidental Administrator?"
"New PM Eats Snacks, Speaks Chaos, Boosts Economy by 19% in One Day."
Zeke: "I told them I'm just a guy with anxiety and bad balance!"
Bitty: "Your humility is considered a virtue. They've already built a statue of you tripping into greatness."
Zeke groaned.
...
That night, Tess called again.
Tess: "Are you the Prime Minister of Mars?"
Zeke: "Technically, yes. But it was a snack-related misunderstanding."
Tess: "I can't decide if I want to slap you or vote for you."
...
Later, as Zeke tried to escape the Martian parliament through an emergency janitor shaft, Bitty cheerfully informed him:
"By the way, your accidental economic reforms now require you to lead a three-planet coalition."
Zeke sighed.
"I just wanted to say sorry."