Do you ever have those moments where you're like, "Hey, this is probably a terrible idea," and then you do it anyway? Yeah. That was today.
So. After saying goodbye to Zhongli—who, may I remind everyone, is still secretly the Geo Archon but pretends to be a tea-loving history uncle—we decided it was time to go meet Ningguang at the Jade Chamber. Simple task, right? Walk a little, maybe climb a few steps, bada bing bada boom, we're there.
WRONG.
First off, Ganyu? GoneYu. No, really. She wasn't anywhere. Vanished. Disappeared like my patience whenever Paimon starts talking about food mid-battle. I made a brilliant joke about her being GoneYu and both Lumine and Paimon just stared at me like I had grown a second head. Philistines, the both of them.
Since our ice goat secretary guide ghosted us, we had to improvise. And you know what happens when three idiots are left unsupervised? That's right. Chaos.
We decided our best bet was to climb Mt. Tianheng. It's big. It's tall. You can see the Jade Chamber from there. In theory, that makes sense. In practice, we just ended up wheezing at the top, staring longingly at a floating palace with no way to get to it. Lumine even tried activating some kind of wind mechanism thing, which sounded very smart. I was impressed. Until it did absolutely nothing.
Cue Paimon going, "What if we use the Guizhong Ballista?"
Now, a reasonable person might say, "No, you floating fruit fly, that's a God-slaying ballista, not an amusement park ride." But we're not reasonable people.
We are morons with ambition.
So off we go to the Guizhong Ballista, which, in hindsight, was a very, very guarded area. Like, Millelith-on-every-corner level guarded. Lumine tried to be diplomatic, and I tried to back her up with my patented Shigeru-style explanations (which, let's be honest, are always 50% genius, 50% confusion), but the Millelith weren't having it.
They were like, "You can't use this sacred historical siege weapon as a personal flying transport."
And I was like, "But what if we did, though?"
Negotiations, unfortunately, devolved into combat.
Listen, I didn't want to fight. But when a bunch of guys with pointy sticks say you're not allowed to yeet yourself skyward, and you say "pretty please," and they still say no—well. It's punchin' time.
Mid-fight, just when I was about to unleash my signature move -a very dignified dodge-roll followed by a wildly flailed punch,- a voice rang out.
"Stop! What's all this about?"
That voice. That stern, elegant, tired-of-this-nonsense voice. I knew it.
My ears twitched. My heart fluttered. I turned—and there she was.
Lady Keqing.
Purple hair. Sharp eyes. Business vibes. The kind of woman who'd put you in your place and make you thank her.
The Millelith snapped to attention like someone had lit a fire under their uniforms. "Lady Keqing!" they chorused. "These three suspicious individuals attempted to commandeer the Ballista to launch themselves at the Jade Chamber."
"SUSPICIOUS?!" Paimon shrieked. "WE'RE NOT SUSPICIOUS!"
Keqing gave us the most deadpan look I've ever seen, like she wasn't sure whether to arrest us or schedule a therapy session.
"You want to go to the Jade Chamber?" she asked.
"Yes!" Lumine replied. "We were invited as guests of the Liyue Qixing."
Paimon floated forward, fuming. "Yeah! We're invited guests! We're looking for the Liyue Qixing! And who even are you supposed to be?!"
That's when the Shigeru switch flipped.
I gasped so hard my lungs took a break. My eyes lit up like someone handed me five-star drops and told me they came with extra sarcasm.
"You mindless fools!" I cried, spinning dramatically as I stepped forward. "Don't you realize whose presence graces us this very moment? This isn't just a civil servant, nor a mere sword-wielder of the Electro element—nay!"
Lumine: "Shigeru no—"
Paimon: "Oh no, he's doing it again—"
I pointed to Keqing like I was unveiling royalty on stage while dramatic music played in my head. "She is the Lightning Judgment of Liyue! The Lady of Lightning-Schedule-Management! The Executor of Deadlines! The Sword that Strikes Before Procrastination Can Settle! The Midnight Oil-Burner Extraordinaire! The CEO of Overworking Yourself Because You Can't Trust Anyone Else to File the Forms Correctly! The One Who Can Clear a Backlog with a Single Glance! The Electro Enforcer of Order in a Sea of Chaos! The YUHENG of the Liyue Qixing herself! LADY KEQING—the violet tempest who schedules your funeral before you even know you've messed up! The woman who could stomp on my soul and I'd thank her for the efficiency!"
Even the Millelith looked a little confused. One guy blinked rapidly. Another muttered, "Is... is that a real title?"
Keqing coughed. Just once. Enough to bring the temperature down from "Shigeru-level chaos" to "mildly manageable."
"I... appreciate the introduction," she said carefully, "but I'm already aware of who you are. Ningguang mentioned she invited you. You are Shigeru, the Traveler, and Paimon, correct?"
Oh.
Well.
Ahem.
"Yes. Yes, we are," I said, smoothing back my hair and pretending I hadn't just declared war on sobriety.
She looked at the Ballista, then at us, then sighed in the way that adults do when children start climbing the furniture.
"You were really going to launch yourselves using the Ballista?"
Paimon piped up. "It wasn't that crazy of a plan!"
Keqing: "It's a weapon of war."
Me: "It's also conveniently aimed at our destination."
Lumine just facepalmed.
Keqing took a deep breath. "There are better ways to get to the Jade Chamber. Come with me. I'll arrange proper transportation."
I whispered to Lumine, "See? Plan worked."
Lumine whispered back, "You nearly got arrested."
"And yet, here we are. Victory."
***
And so, here we go again. Another day, another meeting with a powerful figure in Liyue. This time? Ningguang. I've heard whispers about her, and let's be real—she's not exactly the kind of person who throws a party every time someone knocks on her door. So, of course, we're getting summoned. Great.
Paimon, as usual, is full of questions. Honestly, if I didn't know any better, I'd think she was a walking encyclopedia. Too bad it's all about things that don't matter half the time.
"Hey, Shigeru, do you think Keqing knows why Lady Ningguang wants to meet us?" Paimon asks, while flying like a hyped-up sparrow on too much caffeine.
I glance over at Keqing, who looks like she could be a little more thrilled about this whole 'summoned by the most important person in Liyue' thing, but instead, she's just her usual Keqing self. A little too serious for someone so young, you know?
Keqing just sighs, rolling her eyes like she's been asked this question a thousand times. "Ningguang wants to request that the savior of Mondstadt take a neutral stance, or at least not fully side with the Adepti." She pauses, eyeing us all like we're a little slow on the uptake.
Paimon, still not getting it, puffs up her cheeks, glaring at Keqing. "But we're not picking sides! We've talked with the Adepti too! They want to protect Liyue!"
Keqing's expression doesn't change. She simply looks at Paimon like she just said, "I'm planning to jump into a pool of fire."
"Protect?" she repeats, her tone dripping with disbelief. "You're talking about their sanctimonious arrogance, aren't you?"
Ouch. But also, yeah, she's got a point. The Adepti? They're the kind of people who think their way is the only way. It's almost cute... in a "I'm going to crush you with my stubbornness" kind of way.
I have to admit, though, Keqing's got the whole "I'm right, and you should listen" thing down. I like it. I mean, who needs to be wrong when you can be Keqing?
Keqing keeps going, and I just nod along, pretending to take it all seriously. It's kind of hard not to laugh, though. "Since the three of you are mortals, there's no way you could assassinate a god. The Adepti think Ningguang's actions, locking down the area and questioning the assassins, are a waste of time. They think they're above all of it."
I'm about to speak, but I can already tell where this is going. She's going to keep going, isn't she? This is her favorite soapbox moment, I can feel it.
Before Paimon or Lumine can get a word in, I decide to step up and save the day. -It's not like anyone else was going to, right?- "Don't worry, Lady Yuheng," I say with all the sincerity I can muster. "You've got me. I believe in you."
Keqing stares at me for a second, blinking like I just told her I was the second coming of Rex Lapis.
"...Really?" she asks, voice dripping with skepticism.
I give her a casual shrug, flashing a grin that could win over a dragon. "Oh yeah. I've got your back. Totally. You need a neutral stance? I'm your guy. No problem."
Keqing's face softens ever so slightly, just the tiniest bit of a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. I knew it. My charm is unstoppable. I'm basically the human embodiment of charisma.
Lumine, of course, doesn't share my enthusiasm. She looks at me like I just tried to sell her a bridge. "Are you serious? You just said you believe in her like you're trying to be her personal knight. Are you planning on doing this for every girl we meet?"
I can't help but smirk. "Only a selected few, emergency food," I say with a wink. Gotta keep them on their toes, right?
Paimon rolls her eyes so hard I'm surprised they don't fall out of her head. "You're hopeless."
Keqing, though, seems to appreciate the sentiment more than I thought she would. She looks a little... warmer? Maybe just a tiny bit less annoyed at my nonsense. Hey, progress is progress.
"Thank you for the support," Keqing says, sounding a little more sincere than usual. "But the truth is, I just wish the Adepti would let us lead Liyue. The era of the Adepti has long passed. We all need to face the future head-on."
I stop for a second, my usual dumb grin fading just a little. Her words hit harder than I expected. The Adepti... their time is over. And that contract Zhongli made with the Tsaritsa? That's the future, right? Someone has to carry on his ideals, and maybe it's not the Adepti. Maybe it's us. Maybe it's something else.
Keqing notices my sudden silence, but she doesn't ask. Instead, she turns away, heading toward the platform.
I snap out of it, flashing her a grin. "You're damn right, milady. The future's ours."
And then, without thinking, I add, "Now, can you step on me?"
There. That is the line I've been waiting to drop. The kind of moment that perfectly sums up my genius, really. Just a casual request for something that would probably get me killed if I were talking to anyone else.
Keqing's head snaps around so fast I almost expect her neck to break. "Excuse me?"
I shrug, putting on my best innocent face. "What? Just showing my gratitude."
I can feel Lumine's glare burning into me from the side. "Shigeru, really?"
I grin. "Hey, I'm just doing my part. You know, being the best guy I can be."
There's a long silence before Keqing just... smacks me upside the head. Well, at least it's not a punch this time. I'll count that as a win.
"Idiot," she mutters, turning away and continuing toward the platform like she's too used to my nonsense.
Lumine just sighs, shaking her head. "I don't know how you haven't gotten yourself killed yet."
I shrug again. "Skill. Pure skill."
We're almost at the platform now, the guide waiting for us, probably wondering if he's going to have to deal with us for much longer. Honestly, I'm just happy I haven't gotten kicked out yet. I flash Keqing one last smile.
"Thanks, Lady Yuheng," I say, making sure to sound completely serious. She's still smiling, though, and that's all I need.
Paimon can't help herself. "You really like making a move on every girl we meet, huh?"
I raise an eyebrow. "Only if it's a cat lady or a Dancer from Sumeru, emergency food."
Paimon puffs up again, crossing her arms. "Paimon will never be able understand you."
I just laugh. "That's the beauty of it."
We're almost there now, the Jade Chamber looming in the distance. It's time to meet Lady Ningguang.
"Alright, alright," I say, clapping my hands together. "Our next mission: Meet the lady Ningguang!"
And there we go. Another day, another adventure.
_____________________________________
End of Chapter 25
Quest Completed: Don't get hit by Keqing for saying something stupid, and Reach the jade Chaber.
Quest Failed: Get Stepped on by Keqing.
Rewards: 1x Leftover Smack from Lumine, +500 Friendship XP with Keqing, and +300 Adventure EXP