"Yes!" The Anbu vanished in a swirl of leaves, undoubtedly eager to deliver Orochimaru's cryptic instructions.
Orochimaru's unsettling fascination with the Kaguya clan was palpable. "The Kaguya… even in their unawakened state, they possess such… raw ferocity. To witness the full manifestation of their Shikotsumyaku… a truly exquisite spectacle. A pity none have yet presented such a… developed specimen." His golden eyes gleamed with scientific curiosity, a stark contrast to the brutal reality of the clan's nature.
Meanwhile, back in the embattled forest, Kifune's internal monologue was a frantic mantra of self-preservation. He was juggling the precarious task of fleeing while carrying the dead weight of an unconscious comrade.
"Just a corpse collector… just a corpse collector…" he repeated under his breath, a desperate attempt to ground himself in the absurd reality of his situation.
Kakashi's got this. He's practically a legend in the making. He'll be fine. Probably, Kifune thought, his optimism wavering slightly with each frantic leap through the trees.
He even managed a shaky hum, a bizarre attempt at normalcy amidst the chaos, until his senses screamed a warning. He froze mid-leap, his forced smile vanishing as quickly as morning mist.
"This… this can't be happening," he whispered, his eyes fixed on the figure perched nonchalantly on a nearby branch.
The newcomer sported a ridiculous topknot and two crimson dots on his forehead that looked suspiciously like war paint applied by a child. His grin, however, was anything but childish; it radiated a palpable aura of menace.
Kifune's heart plummeted. "Oh no. It's a Kaguya."
The Kaguya clan. Infamous for their bloodlust and utter disregard for reason. They were the embodiment of "shoot first, ask questions never."
Gently, Kifune lowered the unconscious Kuriyama against the base of a sturdy tree, attempting to project an air of utter insignificance. "Hey, uh… I'm just a Genin. Not even worth your time, right?"
The Kaguya ninja, who introduced himself with a chilling grin as Kaguya Chiren, regarded Kifune with predatory amusement. "Little Konoha brat. Where are your strong ones? I'm in the mood for a proper fight!"
Kifune pointed vaguely in the direction he suspected Orochimaru's hidden base might be. "Oh, they went that way. Big, strong ninjas. Real tough guys. Should take you about an hour to catch up."
Kaguya Chiren nodded slowly. "Good." He actually started to turn away, and a wave of relief washed over Kifune. Thank the Sage, he thought. Maybe I'll actually get out of this alive.
But then Chiren stopped, his grin widening into something truly unsettling.
Kifune's blood ran cold. "Uh… is something wrong?"
Chiren turned back, his eyes gleaming with savage intent. "I just remembered… my mission is to kill every Konoha ninja I see."
Kifune's face fell. "But… I'm just a Genin! I'm practically invisible! Surely I don't count!"
Chiren cracked his knuckles, the sound echoing ominously in the quiet forest. "Don't worry. I'll make it quick."
Before Kifune could utter another word of protest, Chiren was upon him. The Kaguya moved with terrifying speed, a human battering ram. Kifune barely managed to raise his arms in a desperate attempt to defend himself.
BAM!
The force of the blow sent Kifune hurtling backward, his body colliding with a tree with a sickening crack. The tree trunk snapped, and Kifune crumpled to the ground, a searing pain lancing through his chest. He coughed, a mouthful of blood staining his lips. He wondered if this was how a fly felt when it met a windshield.
Chiren tilted his head, a hint of surprise in his eyes. "Huh. Still breathing. Not bad for a weakling."
Kifune groaned, pushing himself up with trembling arms. His ribs screamed in protest, his arms throbbed, and his ego was definitely in need of some serious patching.
"You know," he mumbled, wiping blood from his chin, "this really wasn't in my job description."
Chiren cracked his neck, a disturbing sound like dry bones grinding. "Ready for round two?"
Kifune sighed. He really, really didn't want to do this. But sometimes, the universe just didn't care about your personal preferences.
He reached into his pocket, his fingers closing around a familiar, unseen card.
[Activating Iwagakure Village Quasi-Kage Akagi Tsukasa Experience Card (Rare). Matching compatibility calculation begins...]
[Success! Compatibility rate...]
A confident smirk finally spread across Kifune's bloodied face. He cracked his own knuckles, the sound far less menacing than Chiren's. "Alright, buddy. Let's see how you handle this."