Bernice's POV
I felt like something bad was coming, like a storm I couldn't quite see but could feel in my bones. David started talking to other girls—more than usual. At first, I tried to brush it off, but the jealousy started creeping up. I mean, I was the one he used to talk to all the time. Now, he was talking to them. The girls with the big hips, the ones everyone called "coca cola shape" or, in our world, "nyash." I couldn't help it. I felt… small. Insecure. I didn't have those things, and it stung a little. Okay, a lot.
I didn't let him see it, though. I didn't want him to know how much it bothered me. But it did. And the more I saw him laughing with them, the more distant he became from me. And just like that, our platonic relationship started to crumble. It wasn't even about romance—he was my friend, or he used to be. He ignored me the entire day, and though I tried to act like I didn't care, it hurt. I wasn't even sure why I felt so hurt. Maybe because I didn't know how to fix things, or maybe because I didn't even know how to talk to him anymore.
The next day, same thing. He wasn't talking to me, just chatting away with those girls.
Grace, of course, noticed it too. She told me, "David looks like a hippopotamus, doesn't he?" She was laughing, but I couldn't laugh. I told her not to say that. Even though I knew she was joking, it kind of felt like she was right in a way. David wasn't the same anymore. He was a stranger.
It felt like I had done something wrong, but I had no idea what. I kept thinking, Is it because I don't have nyash? Or am I too shy? Did I do something to make him pull away?
I remember one day, I was just standing by myself, reading. I liked it that way—away from all the noise and drama. But then I saw David walking toward me. He was coming to talk to me again, just like he used to. I couldn't figure out why he always seemed to find me when I was reading.
He said, "Hey, how are you?" You know, the usual. But then, out of nowhere, he said something I didn't expect. "I like you," he said.
I blinked and almost didn't hear him right. I couldn't be sure, so I cleaned my ears like I was hearing things wrong. But he said it again. He liked me.
I didn't know how to respond. I was happy, yeah, but I was also confused. I didn't know how to love myself, let alone someone else. And who was I kidding? We were young. It didn't feel like the right time. And deep down, I didn't think I could handle it anyway. So, I told him no. I told him we couldn't date. I gave him the excuse that we were too young, but I knew the truth was deeper than that.
"I like you too," I said, almost as if I had to convince myself. "But I don't see this working."
He said it was okay. That we could still be friends. But I didn't believe him. He didn't talk to me at all after that. Not like he used to. Maybe he really didn't mean it. Maybe he just said it because he felt like he had to.
I couldn't shake the feeling, though. Why did I feel so sad? Why did I feel like I'd made a mistake? I kept thinking, What if I had said yes? What if I hadn't overthought it and just let myself be happy for once? Maybe things would've worked out differently. But now, it was too late. And somehow, it felt like it was my fault.