"Come on ahjussi, she spent so much money already, so we have to try it!" Shin Yoosung protested, pouting at Kim Dokja with a pleading look in her eyes.
Kim Dokja honestly couldn't give two shits what Uriel wasted her coins on, but when Lee Gilyoung and Yoo Mia began joining in, he felt himself falter. He really didn't want to do this, even if he had the sinking feeling that it wouldn't matter anyway. It's not like Jung Heewon would toss the damn gadget away just because his future self was a bit uncomfortable.
[the constellation 'prisoner of the golden headband' is exclaiming that this will be fun.]
It would be agonizing.
While the others discuss who should start with the new toy, Joonghyuk and Mia ignore them and inspect the demon corpses instead. Finally settling on Heewon getting to use it first since her sponsor bought it, Dokja seems to be more nervous than she is even though he's finally getting a chance to understand his own heart. Still, he feels exposed and awkward as the others watch in silence as the machine lets out a few loud beeps before proclaiming that the value of Dokja's affection towards Heewon is 54. Having no scale to work off of, Heewon calls it quite vague.
The only consolation that Kim Dokja had was that the future Yoo Joonghyuk also thought this was stupid and wouldn't want to be implicated in this kind of nonsense. Even his current self looked rather irritated, after all, and his impatience was oddly apparent as he crossed his arms and unconsciously tapped his finger on his bicep.
Clearly, he just wanted to get this over with so they could move on and get to the next scenario, but Kim Dokja couldn't look away for a moment. Ugh, it was so unfair that the sunfish bastard could have muscles that visible, even through his coat. What the fuck was he even eating that made the sturdy fabric practically strain around his biceps!?
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' is dismayed by the reaction of the incarnation 'yoo joonghyuk'.]
"Oh, you're up first, Heewon-ssi," Yoo Sangah remarked with a small smile. "That does make sense; you're holding it already, and your sponsor did buy it. I wonder how it works…"
Unfortunately for Kim Dokja and fortunately for everyone else, they got to see it only a moment later as Jung Heewon pressed the button. He wasn't sure what everyone was expecting, but the reality was much more mundane. A few piercing beeping noises later and the machine spat out a number in complete isolation.
Lee Jihye tilted her head to the side. "That's it? No fireworks or confetti?"
What the fuck did she think that machine was? Still, the number felt almost clinical, distilling any and all of Kim Dokja's messy feelings into a single value. He was fond enough of Jung Heewon, so a 54 was probably good?
[several constellations are scratching their heads in confusion.]
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is unsure if that is a good result.]
Lee Seolhwa hummed thoughtfully. "It would make sense if this went on a scale of one to a hundred, but I suppose we'll have to use Heewon-ssi's reading as a baseline to compare against the others."
Lee Hyunsung nodded with an excited look on his face. "Yes, we'll have to create a data set. If the maximum value really is 100, then that places Heewon-ssi almost perfectly in the middle of the scale. We could maybe use all the scores later to find out Dokja-ssi's average level of affection for the group as a whole, too…"
His voice trailed off and he looked up at everyone, including Kim Dokja, who were staring at him with baffled expressions.
"Um, did I say something wrong?" Lee Hyunsung asked hesitantly, looking rather flustered.
Jung Heewon shook her head, laughing slightly. "No, no, I just wasn't expecting the math."
[the constellation 'abyssal black flame dragon' thinks math is boring.]
Lee Hyunsung's cheeks flushed again. "Well, I did go to school for engineering, and math is a big part of that, so…"
That's right, he did. He had spent so long in the military that it was the only thing people thought of when they looked at him, but Lee Hyunsung was skilled in other surprising ways too. It was good to see something like that, and it really felt like they were getting to know him better as a result.
This does nothing to dampen Jihye's enthusiasm as she offers to go next. She cheerfully makes a cutesy face while asking what's in Dokja's heart as she presses on the reader. Her expression does a 180, turning dark and unimpressed, when her score of 6 measly points is revealed. Behind her, Ghostja has no major reaction beyond indifference to this score.
A lightning round of scores then begins, with Gilyoung, Hyunsung and Yoosung earning 49, 50, and 56 points respectively. At Yoosung's reading, Gilyoung clicks his tongue white Yoosung looks overjoyed at having the highest number so far. While Heewon takes the reader back, Jihye sinks deeper into depression and calls Dokja trash again.
Thankfully, the future Lee Jihye decided to take one for the team and declared that she would go next.
With a large grin on her face, the teenager leaned forward. "Ahjussi cares about me a lot, right? After all, he got really mad when people were hurting me!"
Was that really something to be proud of? Regardless, Kim Dokja doubted that she'd score as high as Jung Heewon. Sure, he cared about her, but there was another issue that no one else had thought of—did the item only determine his affection for them according to what it was at that particular moment? If so, then Kim Dokja wouldn't be surprised in the least if she got a low score after what she had said earlier; he had not been impressed.
She pressed the button, and Kim Dokja braced himself for what the result would be.
[the constellation 'god of wine and ecstasy' is choking on his wine.]
[the constellation 'maritime war god' is comforting his incarnation.]
"Six points!?" Lee Jihye shrieked, looking genuinely upset over that—in contrast to her future self, who just looked annoyed and petty.
Kim Dokja smiled awkwardly. "Jihye-yah…"
"Don't talk to me, ahjussi," she sniffed, turning her face away from him. "That's so mean!"
"I'm pretty sure it's taking readings of how I feel at that exact moment, so they might be different than if I didn't know this was happening…" he said half-heartedly, hoping that everyone would understand. Kim Dokja really didn't want everyone to think that he just had something against Lee Jihye for whatever reason.
Han Sooyoung raised a brow. "So, in other words, she just pressed the button when you were annoyed with her or some shit, right?"
Kim Dokja shrugged. "I mean, I can't be sure, but six is a bit low…"
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is contemplating this hypothesis.]
As the next three went and got much higher scores—all hovering around the same level as Jung Heewon—Kim Dokja felt a bit more confident about his guess. Honestly, if he had to rate her under normal circumstances, he'd probably place Lee Jihye somewhere around where Lee Gilyoung's score was. He wasn't overly close to her or anything, but she was still a character who he had cheered for over the course of a decade.
"I got 56!" Shin Yoosung exclaimed excitedly before she suddenly paused and got quiet. For a moment, Kim Dokja wondered what was wrong before he remembered just why they were doing this in the first place. If she had the highest number, then that meant that she was currently in the lead when it came to being the person most likely to kill him and fulfil the prophecy.
Lee Gilyoung on the other hand, just held onto Kim Dokja even tighter—almost fearfully, even. Wasn't it a good thing that he wouldn't be forced to kill Kim Dokja? Or was he getting upset over a number? Kim Dokja looked down at him with a frown. "Gilyoung-ah…?"
"It's nothing," Lee Gilyoung whispered, but it was obvious to everyone—judging by Yoo Sangah exchanging concerned glances with Lee Seolhwa—that it very much wasn't 'nothing'.
Yoo Mia looked over silently for a second before sighing. "Hey, are you sad because Yoosung got a higher score than you?"
Lee Gilyoung stiffened up immediately and his lip wavered. "No!"
[several constellations are doubting the statement of the incarnation 'lee gilyoung'.]
His hands trembled and he finally looked up tearfully before suddenly exclaiming, "Her score was seven points higher! Seven! That's more than noona's entire score!"
Even as Lee Jihye let out an offended gasp, Kim Dokja sighed. "Gilyoung-ah, that doesn't mean that I like you any less—"
"But it does, hyung!" Lee Gilyoung yelled before going quiet and looking away as Shin Yoosung stared at him with wide and trembling eyes.
Fuck, Kim Dokja didn't know what to do. How was he supposed to solve a problem like this!?
"I'm ahjussi's incarnation, so it makes sense," Shin Yoosung huffed. "Stop being a baby about this."
Kim Dokja felt like he was watching a car crash in slow motion as Lee Gilyoung glared at her, clearly upset, before opening his mouth and yelling without thinking.
"I… I wish you weren't hyung's incarnation!"
[many constellations are stunned by the words of the incarnation 'lee gilyoung'.]
[the constellation 'lily blooming in aquarius' is gasping in shock.]
Lee Gilyoung immediately let go of Kim Dokja and recoiled, all his anger draining from his face to leave an expression of horror in its place. He began to shake, looking almost afraid of what Kim Dokja would say to that, but Kim Dokja was too busy trying not to fall back into feelings he had thought he had gotten over years ago.
As the boy stammered out frantic apologies, looking almost scared, Kim Dokja really didn't know what he could do to fix this mess. This was too much, too similar, and he felt nauseous at even the idea of yelling at Lee Gilyoung (or worse—) the way that the boy was surely imagining. Kim Dokja knew what that felt like horrifically well, and he was getting overwhelmed, left speechless and staring with wide eyes and an ashen complexion. Even Yoo Joonghyuk was looking at him with concern, and the less he thought about her gaze trained on him the better. He was barely holding the dam of memories together as it was.
"Gilyoung-ah, how about you come sit with me for a little bit," Yoo Sangah suggested gently, and Kim Dokja couldn't do much other than shoot her a brief grateful look in return. He couldn't deal with this right now, not with the way that Lee Gilyoung had looked almost afraid of him. Kim Dokja was too scared to reach out just in case the kid was right to be.
What if Kim Dokja would inevitably end up the same as that man or her, just like all those people had said behind his back while he was growing up?
It felt weird not having Lee Gilyoung sitting next to him after the boy had moved, but he probably needed some space to calm down, and Kim Dokja also needed the space and time to clear his own mind from those fears and nauseous feelings. Shin Yoosung, on the other hand, was looking down at the ground and Kim Dokja felt like a failure of a sponsor. Fuck, he wasn't even actually her sponsor yet so they didn't even have that connection at this point. This scenario was messing with them and their perceptions of each other, influencing them in subtle ways.
Still, as the room descended into an awkward silence, Kim Dokja just hoped that this wouldn't completely destroy the children's bond.
[the constellation 'queen of the darkest spring' is sighing.]
As Sangah accepts the reader, she looks over her shoulder to suggest that Joonghyuk try it next, only to receive the most scathing glare from the protagonist, "I have no time to waste on that trifling joke."
"Oh, am I next?" Yoo Sangah wondered somewhat awkwardly, and Kim Dokja tried not to visibly grimace.
Han Sooyoung sighed. "Well, you're probably going to get the new highest score."
Lee Seolhwa looked at her curiously. "Why do you think so, Sooyoung-ssi?"
"Well, it's simple, really," Han Sooyoung said dismissively. "They actually knew each other in person for a year before the world fucking ended. Funny enough, that usually leads to a deeper bond than ones he'd have with people who he thought of as just characters before, or people who he only met a few months ago."
[a few constellations are agreeing with the assessment of the incarnation 'han sooyoung'.]
However, Kim Dokja's eyes widened in surprise when she suggested that Yoo Joonghyuk try the reader first. Naturally, he rejected the offer, which made Kim Dokja feel oddly relieved.
"Master, why did you say no!?" Lee Jihye gasped, and Yoo Joonghyuk narrowed his eyes at the screen further.
It made sense—it was a waste of time, and his future self didn't think they were close enough for something like that to matter. They were companions, sure, but Yoo Joonghyuk wasn't the kind of man who would just trust an item provided by a constellation either.
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' is begging the incarnation 'yoo joonghyuk' to reconsider.]
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is admitting that he is curious as well.]
Yoo Joonghyuk frowned as he glanced over at Kim Dokja for a moment, an inexplicable emotion dancing in his eyes.
"If this happens again, then I will do it," Yoo Joonghyuk seemingly forced himself to say as he looked back at the screen.
He couldn't actually be saying that because he wanted to do it, right? Kim Dokja laughed awkwardly. "Gotta cover all the bases, right?"
The protagonist scoffed and Kim Dokja figured that was probably as close to a yes as he was going to get.
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' is jumping around gleefully.]
Hesitantly, Sangah moves to press the button, but is interrupted by a gift from the 'Queen of the Darkest Spring'. Golden light surrounds her, transforming her outfit into a familiar black qipao, thigh-high socks with garter belts, and high-heeled shoes. As Sangah's face flushes in embarrassment and she stutters out a nervous protest, Dokja freezes before cursing out the hag from Olympus. On the other hand, Heewon wonders if this is a constellation event before commenting that the outfit must be expensive, and Hyunsung averts his eyes respectfully.
After being goaded to press the button by Jihye, Sangah finally does, only to have all three of them look shocked to see the 481 points that appear. Stuttering, Jihye proclaims that the one they're looking for must be Sangah, but while the kids seem to buy it, Heewon feels that something is fishy.
Nervous, Ghostja's gaze shakily moves to look at the sword of the group while sweat pours down his translucent face. Taking the outfit from Sangah, Heewon holds it up to herself and wonders if she'll even fit into the dress. In the process, she accidentally presses the button once more. As everyone pauses, waiting for the beeping to end when the score is displayed, Ghostja begins to float away, his face frozen in a strange smile.
Kim Dokja found himself a bit nervous, thinking about what Han Sooyoung said, as Yoo Sangah went to press the button. However, a sudden interruption made his heart skip a beat.
"H-huh!?" Yoo Sangah exclaimed, looking extremely flustered, as her clothes were suddenly magically transformed.
Shit.
[the constellation 'queen of the darkest spring' is very amused.]
[a constellation who likes harems is looking appreciatively.]
"Oi, what the fuck!?" Han Sooyoung growled, glaring intently at the ceiling. "What is this shit!?"
Kim Dokja averted his eyes, hoping that his face wasn't red, and he felt awful when he saw just how uncomfortable Yoo Sangah looked. She wasn't even blushing for any reason, and her face was just ashen and pale. Her hands shook and it seemed almost like she was too stunned to look away.
"I don't know why you donated that specific dress and I don't care to," Lee Seolhwa said firmly, "but interfering like that will end up ruining any data we manage to collect from this."
Yoo Sangah inhaled sharply and she curled her hands into fists. "Last time… it was just my appearance. This time it's my body. I understand that you probably just wanted to tease Dokja-ssi with those memories for your own amusement, but I never knew about that or agreed to it."
Shakily, she looked up at the screen with a determined expression. "This is so incredibly violating, both for me and Dokja-ssi. Please never do this again."
Kim Dokja was speechless, unsure of what he could even say. Under these circumstances, why the hell was she even including him in that? Yoo Sangah was the one being treated like a constellation's dress-up doll, not him.
[several constellations are looking at the constellation 'queen of the darkest spring'.]
[the constellation 'queen of the darkest spring' is humming thoughtfully.]
[the constellation 'queen of the darkest spring' is reminding the incarnations that she can't control the future.]
While it wasn't an explicit yes, it was at least somewhat implied that she would avoid it in their future, even if the version of her in the recording didn't.
Of course, Yoo Sangah still had to press the button, and Kim Dokja died a bit inside as her score appeared.
Yoo Joonghyuk's mood instantly soured and Yoo Sangah buried her face in her hands.
"Well, shit, the scale wasn't to a hundred after all," Han Sooyoung gasped. "Maybe you'll have to convince the protagonist bastard to try it."
Lee Seolhwa shook her head. "The first thing we should do is have Sangah-ssi try it again after changing back to her usual clothes. I'm not sure what the dress was intended to do, but we need to rule out the possibility that it skewed the results in any way."
Kim Dokja wanted to die. This was so humiliating, and it was only going to get worse if they kept trying to figure it out. His future self had the right idea—he was also very much cursing the goddess out in his head.
[the constellation 'prisoner of the golden headband' is scratching his head in confusion.]
Apparently, Jung Heewon had the same idea and asked Yoo Sangah to give her the dress. However, instead of handing the affection reader back to her, Jung Heewon accidentally pressed the button herself.
"At least it doesn't have a limited number of uses," Lee Hyunsung sighed, clearly expecting the same result as her earlier score. Kim Dokja, on the other hand, wasn't so sure.
Fuck.
The pop-up declares that Heewon has scored 481 points as well. Upon seeing that, Heewon is confused since she didn't even put the dress on. Grinning maniacally, Jihye asks for the dress, only to receive the same score as the other two when she holds it up to herself. In the judgemental silence that follows, poor Dokja—who has had his preferences outed—covers his flushed face in shame and probably wishes he was dead again.
Heewon bursts out laughing at the revelation, Jihye starts clicking her tongue judgmentally, and Sangah seems to feel more relieved as she remarks that it isn't even a person that he loves the most. Gilyoung and Hyunsung are shaking their heads, but Yoosung seems to be looking at Dokja while shivering. Thinking that she's disappointed in him, Dokja begins to apologize, but she cuts him off by urgently asking what's wrong. Before Dokja can react to her words, he feels a change in his body as his vision swirls, her voice becomes distant, and he's overcome by dizziness.
Ah, could this be—
[You have died.]
Everyone stared at the screen for a moment as Kim Dokja contemplated just giving himself a concussion bad enough that he'd forget this ever happened.
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is flabbergasted.]
[the constellation 'abyssal black flame dragon' is cackling at the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
Yoo Joonghyuk's eyebrow twitched in irritation. "It was the dress."
Fuck, was that supposed to be a question? Things only got worse as Lee Jihye grabbed the dress and held it in front of her before pressing the button again as well. Sure enough, 481 points.
"So… that really wasn't unnie's real score," Lee Jihye muttered as she squinted at the screen.
Han Sooyoung's grin widened. "So, asshole, care to share with the class? Maybe I'm just speaking for myself, but normally the person in the clothes also matters."
Lee Hyunsung also coughed awkwardly, still looking away from the screen. "I… have to agree. We're both men, but, well… I would definitely still be paying more attention to the person than the clothes."
"I— I just…" Kim Dokja sputtered, hating every second of this, as his face went beet red. "I just think it looks good, okay? Why are we talking about this?"
Snickering, Han Sooyoung looked at him like he was stupid. "Well, unless you're about to get strangled using the fabric of the dress or the garters, then it's a pretty fucking useless result."
[the eyes of a constellation who likes to change gender are gleaming.]
[a constellation who likes to change gender is wondering if the incarnation 'kim dokja' would be interested in changing gender and trying on the dress himself.]
[the constellation 'demon-like judge of fire' is gasping in surprise.]
Huh!? What!? Kim Dokja felt his stomach flip at the thought, and he didn't know how to feel about this completely and utterly baffling idea. In all his shameful fantasies, black silk had always been draped over a nameless, faceless figure. Why the fuck would he have ever even thought of something like… like that!? It had never crossed his mind before, and he did everything he could to avoid thinking of it.
The stress of the situation and the embarrassment were making his throat go dry and his heart beat almost audibly as he felt his palms go slick with sweat. God, she had heard that whole thing, and he wouldn't doubt if she'd scoff and use this humiliation to her advantage somehow.
"Kim Dokja!"
Kim Dokja blinked, suddenly looking over at the protagonist. His ears were slightly reddened and he looked like he had been tightly clenching his hands into fists—like he had been barely restraining himself from committing some kind of violence—but something about the sudden panic in his tone snapped Kim Dokja out of his mind.
Glancing up at the screen, he blanched as Shin Yoosung panicked and his vision started to swim.
Wait, that was—
[many constellations are stunned by the current events.]
[some constellations are wondering if it's possible to die of embarrassment.]
A washed out scene of a child flipping the page of a book comes into focus, and a zoom out reveals the innocent figure to be Dokja with shiny and enraptured eyes as he reads every word.
I remember the moment I read a novel for the first time. The texture of the soft paper touching my fingertips and how the letters bloomed over the blank pages like flowers. The feeling I got when I turned the pages with my hands.
Sookyung comes into frame with a kind smile on her face as she softly explains that the letters themselves aren't important, but rather what he finds between them.
The letters and the space that was left in between them felt like a field of snow that was reserved only for me. This space, which was too small for someone to enter and lie down in, was the perfect place for a child like me who loved to hide.
On the page in a space between the letters, the young Dokja lies surrounded by more books as he reads, his feet kicking up cheerfully. The page then flips, as do the next few, going from the front of the book to the end.
In that space, I became a protagonist and went on an adventure, felt love, and dreamed. And I read, read, and read again. Then, when the seemingly everlasting story had come to an end and I closed the book for the first time, I remember feeling as if I was ripped out of that little world of mine.
Shin Yoosung whimpered as she clung to him, staring fearfully at the screen as the reality that he died yet again settled in.
Han Sooyoung, on the other hand, looked around awkwardly. "So… did that count as him getting offed by the dress, or what?"
Before anyone could formulate any kind of response, the screen lit up again only to show a grainy image of his younger self reading a book.
[several constellations are pleased by the cuteness of a younger incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
Kim Dokja felt embarrassed again as his own thoughts began to narrate his feelings about reading in general, and just how enthralled he had been from the very first moment he had picked up a book.
Sounding almost fond, she sighed. "Dokja-yah, you were so cute back then… a shame."
She was the last person who could say something like that. While he owed it to her for teaching him how to love reading—no matter how much it ached and hurt to see her acting like the mother she should have been on the screen in front of him—he didn't owe her anything else.
"Hiding in the space between the words… you're rather poetic, Dokja-ssi," Lee Seolhwa sighed with a gentle smile.
It wasn't intentional, or anything. It was just a fancy way of saying that books were his escapism. If he let himself get sucked into the narrative, to imagine that he could watch it happen in front of his eyes, then he could temporarily leave the horrific reality in which he existed. That story would take him by the hand and lead him away to a place where he couldn't hear his father's shouts, and where the pungent scent of alcohol only meant merrymaking in a tavern rather than a threat.
[constellations who like literature are nodding in agreement with the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
"Ah, that makes sense," Yoo Sangah laughed somewhat. "It's probably not in exactly the same way as you, Dokja-ssi, but I've finished a novel that left me feeling empty after. It's almost difficult to remember that it wasn't real."
… Yeah. The shock of being returned to reality when he'd rather stay wrapped up in the story forever. Maybe that's why he latched onto TWSA the way he did—it was a story that seemed like it would never end. A story that would never abandon him, even though everyone else did.
As Dokja flips to the last page where the protagonist and supporting characters walk off with a 'they lived happily ever after', he is left alone at the end of the story. He feels lonely and betrayed as he closes the book, so he turns and asks his mom if that's really the end, and she confirms that it is.
As if she was trying to teach me how cruel life could be, my mother was cold but wise.
Although her eyes look blank and tired, she calmly explains that there is nothing left to this book, but just because he's reached the 'end' doesn't mean that he's seen the whole story. In an encouraging tone, she tells him to read it again because it will be a whole new story the second time he reads it. At first, still feeling afraid of that world leaving him alone again, Dokja says that he doesn't want to. With a supportive hand on his back, his mother offers to read it together, making the child smile.
That's how I learned how to 'read again'. At first, I only saw the main character's perspective. The second reading showed the perspective of the supporting characters, and the third reading showed the perspective of the enemy. The story changed every time I read it, so the story was over while also not being over—it wouldn't end unless the reader gave up on it.
[the constellation 'scribe of heaven' is saying that all stories have endings eventually.]
Kim Dokja knew that, but that didn't mean that he had to like it either. Over the years, he had gotten better at managing his feelings and feeling less betrayed, even if some of that lingered.
Shin Yoosung huffed slightly. "That's mean."
It was mean, but she had never been the kind of mother who had tried to spare his feelings, either. Life had never been easy, and coddling him wouldn't have done anything.
However, it was hard to watch this. In isolation, seeing this moment that lived buried deep within his memories, they almost seemed normal. Following that advice, he read and he read again, no matter what it was. Even if he was fearful at first, she had eased him into that idea, and then it had become a habit as he did it over and over again.
[the constellation 'maritime war god' is smiling at the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
"That sounds like a lot of work," Jung Heewon admitted, but she shrugged. "Well, I never was that big of a literature fan either."
This was how Kim Dokja had lived his life—stretching every story to the very limits of its interpretations. He'd read it from perspectives that the authors may have never expected, and he tried to not think too much about it as Han Sooyoung shot him a silent glance, her expression so different from her earlier teasing grin.
Whatever, it was fine. All that mattered was that so long as he kept re-reading it, even TWSA would never truly end.
[the constellation 'secretive plotter' is looking at the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
Floating in a dark expanse, Dokja wonders how his life would be if she had said something else that day—if she had said that all stories are fake, or that it would be a waste of life to read them.
Would I have made more friends? Would I have studied hard, not been bullied, and not run away from the reality given to me?
"Kim Dokja, you appear to be worried," a voice calls out, which Dokja identifies as belonging to Oedipus since he's a constellation with the [Prophet] attribute who can invade dreams, like Anna. Smiling, the constellation reminds him that his Fate is approaching. Confused, Dokja asks if it hasn't already come to pass because he's currently dead, just like they wanted. Oedipus just tells Dokja that he can't avoid Fate with such trivial stories, and he reminds him that he'll soon have to choose which side he'll stand on, and that he believes Dokja will make the right choice.
Annoyed, Dokja says that he's not on any side. However, Oedipus continues, unable to see Dokja's souring look as declares that Dokja will definitely come to Olympus since no one else has a story that suits Olympus as much as he does.
[the constellation 'lily blooming in aquarius' is contemplating the words of the incarnation 'kim dokja'.]
As Kim Dokja wondered what would have happened if his life had been different, Yoo Joonghyuk looked at him for a moment before speaking. "You would not be Kim Dokja."
Ah… it was really that simple, wasn't it? In a single instant, though what he said was maybe something too obvious, Yoo Joonghyuk said it with such confidence that it had to be true. In a sense, it was—if he had never done those things, and if he had been more social, then he wouldn't be the same person that he was now.
Suddenly, before Kim Dokja could find the words to respond, he heard a constellation speak to him and he instantly stiffened up. Shit, Olympus? Had the prophecy really been fulfilled in such a humiliating way?
[the constellation 'god of wine and ecstasy' is raising a brow while refilling his glass.]
"Wait, so Dokja-ssi's fate still hasn't come to pass?" Lee Hyunsung asked in confusion, frowning at the screen.
If that was the case, then… Kim Dokja glanced over at Han Sooyoung. She hadn't decided to murder him for the sake of it, right?
"I'm not going to listen to you," Kim Dokja stated firmly, narrowing his eyes as he did. "I've already created my own nebula; what use would I have for Olympus?"
Why were they so certain that he would join them? What did they mean when they were talking about his story?
And why did she seem so angry all of a sudden?
Before Dokja can really ask what he means, a woman's voice calls his name. Dokja's eyes widen in horror as his mother tells him to read it again, but this time he's an adult, her voice is warped, and everything is dyed a disgusting red. Rather than a book, a knife covered in blood sits on the table and his father's lifeless body stares at him from where it lies on the floor. As his mother reminds him not to forget anything, no longer sounding as kind as she did in the flashback, Dokja begins to hyperventilate and scream.
Oedipus' voice echoes in the darkness, sounding almost as though he's laughing at the memories. "Succeed the [Carnival of Lightning]. Because if you don't, what awaits you in the next scenario is permanent death."
The second, he processed what was being shown on the screen, Kim Dokja's blood felt like ice in his veins and he could barely hear Han Sooyoung cursing a blue streak as his heartbeat echoed in his ears.
Read it again. A beat. Read it again. Another.
He couldn't breathe. He was choking and dying and gasping for breath and he couldn't breathe—
It was self-defense.
Someone was calling his name and shaking him but Kim Dokja couldn't see couldn't hear couldn't breathe. A weighty thud. The smell of iron. His shaking hands. The muted pain of old bruises. The numbness, slowly seeping in.
He was too young for this. He wanted to forget—to box it up and leave it to rot. He couldn't think.
A voice, oddly calm.
Dokja-yah, read it again.