Daily Meme
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The forest went silent. A breeze kicked up the dust left in the wake of the hit.
The system popped up.
[CRITICAL HIT! 5,000+ DAMAGE!]
[WARNING: VICTIM IS NOW ORBITAL DEBRIS.] (This is an exaggeration)
I ignored it. My momentum was still maxed. But stacked stats went away.
I kicked off the ground. The force left a crater where I stood.
The wind roared past my ears. My speed blurred the trees into streaks of green and orange, the fire reflecting in quick flashes. The map flickered—multiple battles, multiple enemies. I didn't slow down. I wasn't stopping.
[Speed Boost: +100%]
I saw Tiger and Mandalay fighting two villains. Analyze.
[Target: Spinner
Quirk: Gecko – Can stick to walls. Congratulations—you're a glorified pest control nightmare with scales.
Stain Simp (Lite Edition) – Wants to be edgy like Stain, but Ryuu curb-stomped the original before the ideology could trend. Now he's just parroting quotes from a man who never finished his manifesto.
Outcast Energy – Got bullied for looking like a walking iguana, so he joined the League because even villains need a token scaley.
Swordsman Skills? – Negative. He swings that blade like he's fighting mosquitoes, not heroes. Might stab himself before he lands a hit.
Nickname: Lizard with Tail Issues.
[SYSTEM NOTE]: Get it? Tail left for milk and never came back.
[SYSTEM NOTE #2]: Much like Spinner's sense of purpose. Oops]
[Target: Magne
Quirk: Magnetism – Turns people into magnets based on gender. You're either flying into her arms or across the room like a tossed salad. Gender reveal? More like gender yeet.
Strength – Built like a damn freight train. If she hugs you, kiss your spine goodbye. Chiropractors would kill to study her victims.
Brawler Mode – Zero patience. Zero hesitation. All fists, all day. Walks into battle like it owes her money and she's here to collect—with interest and a sledgehammer.
[SYSTEM NOTE]: Warning—standing near Magne may result in spontaneous flight and a crushed ego.]
The system barely processed the info before I reached them. Not that I could stop.
Spinner swung his oversized blade at Tiger, who dodged with barely any effort, twisting around the attack. Magne went for Mandalay, her quirk yanking a tree toward her, forcing her to dodge.
I closed the gap in an instant.
Spinner barely had time to react before my bat crashed into his stomach. He wheezed, feet leaving the ground as he flew backward. Magne turned, raising her arm—too slow. I ducked under her swing and slammed my bat into her knee. She staggered, but her grip caught my shirt, flinging me into a tree.
Pain shot through my back, but I kicked off the trunk, flipping over her next swing. Mandalay moved in, aiming a kick at her ribs while Tiger dashed toward Spinner.
"Handle this," I muttered, already moving again.
My map flickered—Yaoyorozu's group had reached Tokoyami. I adjusted my route.
The next clearing opened fast. Tokoyami was there, Dark Shadow flailing wildly. Too out of control. Something was pushing him too far. A figure stood ahead.
Analyze.
Target: Moonfish (Clone)
Quirk: Blade Teeth – His teeth turn into sword-whips. Yeah. Dude skipped braces and went straight to Hellraiser.
Freak Factor – Mumbles nonsense like he's trying to summon Satan through spit. Guaranteed to make you check under your bed twice.
Movement – Slithers, crawls, skitters—basically a walking sleep paralysis demon with a dental fetish. Horror movie rules apply: if you blink, he's in your face.]
His teeth shot forward, slicing through branches, striking at anything in reach. Tokoyami struggled, trying to pull Dark Shadow back.
I didn't stop.
I slammed into Moonfish like a wrecking ball, my bat driving straight into his ribs. He flipped, crashing into the dirt, but his teeth lashed out immediately, slashing toward my legs.
I jumped over them, twisting mid-air, bringing my bat down. The hit connected, snapping one of the extended teeth, but more shot out, trying to wrap around me.
"Yaoyao!" I barked.
She was already moving. A flash of metal—she tossed a canister toward Tokoyami. He caught it, popping the cap. A bright flash burst out, light flooding the area. Dark Shadow recoiled, shrinking instantly.
Moonfish let out a garbled screech. I took the chance.
My bat swung low, catching his leg. He staggered, and I followed up with a shot to the head. His body crumpled.
Tokoyami gasped for air, Dark Shadow finally under control.
"You good?" I asked.
He nodded, still breathing heavy.
"Then move." I was already running again.
Another explosion. Closer.
The system flared a new warning—Bakugo and Todoroki were engaged with another target. A stronger one.
I adjusted course.
The trees thinned, opening into another battlefield. Blue flames flickered against the smoke. Bakugo stood ahead, palms sparking, his glare locked onto a figure standing amidst the fire.
Analyze.
[Target: Dabi
Quirk: Blue Flames – Burns hotter than normal fire, takes a toll on his body.
Edgelord Supreme – Talks like he's monologuing in a bad crime drama.
Personal Beef Pending – Clearly here for something specific.
[SYSTEM NOTE]: Man's got more daddy issues than hot topic gift cards.
[SYSTEM NOTE #2]: Warning—gets hotter the more emotional damage he takes. Basically a flaming therapy session.]
Todoroki was nearby, ice already melting from the heat. Bakugo growled. "Tch. About time you got here, dumbass."
"Yeah, yeah." I eyed Dabi. "What, they ran out of budget for a costume, or did you roll out of a dumpster?"
Dabi smirked. "That's cute. You're a funny one."
I kicked off the ground. My bat swung for his head.
Flames erupted between us. I twisted mid-air, dodging the heat, landing just outside the blast.
"Careful," he drawled. "I burn easy."
"Yeah, so do bridges, but you don't see me giving a shit."
I kicked forward, bat swinging. Dabi shifted, flames flaring up between us. The heat hit hard, but I kept moving, circling to his side before he could fully redirect.
Bakugo blasted in, aiming straight for his face. Dabi sidestepped, flames shooting up again. Todoroki's ice cut across the ground, but it barely made it past the fire before melting.
Dabi smirked. "Oh, you kids are fun."
I swung again, cutting off whatever bullshit he was about to say. He dipped back, but my bat still clipped his shoulder, sending him stumbling.
Bakugo capitalized, explosions flying. "Tch. Shut the hell up, you crispy bastard!"
The flames swallowed the blast, but he still took a step back.
Dabi shifted his stance, one hand still burning blue. "Man, I would love to stay, but—"
I cut him off, stepping in fast. He had been playing around, but I wasn't.
My bat swung, and for a split second, I saw it—his foot slid back, weight shifting. He wasn't bracing to dodge. He was preparing to leave.
"Bakugo, hit him now!"
Bakugo didn't hesitate. "DIE, YOU BASTARD!" The explosion cracked through the air.
Dabi barely moved before the blast hit, smoke swallowing him whole. The impact sent flames scattering, fire licking at the treetops.
I scanned the area. Nothing. No movement.
"Where did he go?" Todoroki's voice cut in.
"Slippery piece of shit," I muttered.
No time to linger. The next fight was already happening.
I turned, kicking off the ground.
[Speed Boost: +100%]
The next battlefield was a mess. Most of my class and Class 1-B were fighting the real Moonfish. The ground was torn up, trees reduced to splinters. Moonfish's teeth whipped around, slicing through the air, forcing everyone to stay moving.
I called out to the others in my mind. 'A villain has cloning Quirk. Took down a few copies. Watch your backs.'
Aizawa grumbled, "Villain on our end was a clone. We handled it."
I snorted. 'Took you time. What was he like?'
"Burned, blue flames," Aizawa reported.
Todoroki and Bakugo cut in. "We fought the original. When Ryuu arrived, he ran."
'Damn right he did,' I muttered, landing hard next to Sero and Kirishima. "What's the situation?"
"Bad," Sero shot back, dodging another swipe. "Those teeth move too fast!"
Moonfish turned, jagged teeth stretching toward us. I rushed in, swinging my bat at one of the tendrils, breaking it in half. Another shot toward my ribs—I twisted, barely dodging.
Kirishima hardened his arms and caught one head-on. "Damn, this guy's relentless!"
Yaoyorozu threw out a handful of flash grenades. "Everyone, cover your eyes!"
The light burst across the battlefield. Moonfish shrieked, his teeth retracting for a second.
"Now!" I snapped. "Jiro, hit him!"
Jiro slammed her jacks into the ground. A shockwave pulsed outward, throwing Moonfish off balance.
Kaminari took the opening, sending a bolt of electricity straight at him. The jolt hit hard. Moonfish convulsed, his movements jerky.
"Not done yet!" I dashed in, bat swinging. The hit landed square in his gut, knocking him back into a tree. The trunk snapped, the weight crashing down on him.
"Is he down?" Kaminari asked.
The pile of branches shifted. Moonfish started to rise.
"Not yet," Kirishima growled.
"Fucking stay down!" I kicked forward, bat cocked back. The next hit crushed his head against the dirt. The system pinged—KO confirmed.
I turned to Yaoyorozu. "Yaoyao, take them back to camp. We only have Nomu and a few cowards hiding now. Don't fight, protect yourself."
She nodded. "Be careful."
I shot off before she could say anything else. "Sensei, marking Nomu's direction."
Aizawa's voice cut in. "Got it. Wait until I get there."
The ground blurred under me. Flames flickered between the trees, smoke curling through the air. The heat was getting worse. Somewhere in the distance, something collapsed—probably another section of the forest giving in to the chaos.
I shot through the burning forest, following the signal. Yaoyorozu's speakers crackled ahead, luring the Nomu away from the others. The scent of burning wood and scorched earth thickened.
Then I saw it.
"The fuck is this monster?" I muttered.
It stood in the clearing, limbs twisted with muscle, black flesh writhing. A mechanical chainsaw jutted from one arm, buzzing as it twitched. Its head snapped toward me, glowing red eyes locking on.
Analyze.
[Target: Chainsaw Nomu
Quirk: Chainsaw Arms – Self-explanatory. Big-ass rotating teeth on its limbs.
Quirk: Regeneration – Recovers from damage unless completely destroyed.
Quirk: Enhanced Strength – Strong enough to rip through steel.
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Horror Movie Reject – If it could talk, it would probably say "Groovy."
Single Brain Cell – Not much going on upstairs.
Speed Demon – Faster than normal Nomu. Can close distances quick.
[SYSTEM NOTE]: Recommend strategy: Hit it 'til it stops twitching, then hit it again just to be sure.]
The system spat warnings, but I was already moving.
It lunged, chainsaw screaming. The ground cracked as it launched forward. I ducked under the first swipe, boots skidding against dirt, then shot past its side, my bat swinging for its knee.
The hit landed. It didn't buckle.
The bastard turned, the chainsaw coming down. I twisted, barely avoiding getting split in half. The heat from the blade buzzed past my ear. I shot forward, jamming my bat into its gut.
The Nomu didn't flinch. Its free hand swung.
I backstepped, but the claws raked across my side. The jacket held, but the impact sent me stumbling. The Nomu didn't let up. It moved fast, closing the gap in an instant.
[Endless Momentum: 87%]
I ducked the next swipe, kicking off the ground. My bat cracked against its ribs. This time, it reacted, feet dragging against the dirt.
It roared, chainsaw revving higher.
"Shut the fuck up," I muttered, rushing in again.
The next attack came from above. The chainsaw cut through a tree like paper, sending chunks of wood flying. I used the falling debris to gain height, leaping onto a thick branch, then launched off, aiming straight for its head.
[Endless Momentum: 100%]
The bat connected.
A shockwave cracked through the clearing. The Nomu's head snapped back, body jerking as the force blasted it off its feet. It crashed through the ground, tearing up dirt.
--
You awaken in a lab.
The aliens look concerned.
"Subject consumed 59 chapters. Did not cast a single vote. Highly unethical."
They scan your brain.
It's just memes. And shame.
They nod in disgust.
"Send them back. We don't study lurkers."
You wake up.
The System message is burned into your ceiling:
[VOTE. OR GET PROBED AGAIN. (THIS TIME DOWN THERE!)]
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