Ren lay sprawled across his bed, deeply asleep without a dream in sight. The usual tension in his features had melted away, replaced with an unusual serenity. His chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm, each breath a quiet reminder of how desperately his body needed rest. The room was silent, disturbed only by the gentle flutter of the curtains.
Just before he drifted off, he'd been thinking about Lyra, Elara, and the web of memories from his past. Sleep had come quietly, without him realizing. Though his body remained strong from the use of elixirs and potions, his mind was exhausted. The relentless training he'd endured had left him worn out. Stress had built up over time—weeks, maybe even months. Ren needed a reprieve, a moment to catch his breath, but he rarely gave himself that luxury.
Tonight, his body took over. He slept deeply, missing dinner, disconnected from everything around him. His energy was depleted, and his heart was heavy. The weight of his reincarnated life pressed on him like a stone. He knew this world's story—he'd read it before in a novel from his former life. And now, he was living it, pain and all.
At some point, Nathan—Ren's faithful friend and protector—quietly entered the room. "Ren? You awake?" he asked in a hushed voice. There was no response, just the quiet sound of Ren's breathing. Nathan moved closer, his expression softening as he looked down at him.
Ren looked peaceful—almost childlike. Sleep had erased the fatigue and burdens from his face. Moonlight streamed through the window, casting a soft glow over him. Nathan hesitated. He thought about waking him, knowing Ren hadn't eaten. But the sight of his friend finally at peace made him pause. He couldn't bring himself to disturb him.
"He needs this," Nathan murmured. With a quiet nod, he backed out and gently closed the door.
Hours passed. In the middle of the night, Ren began to stir. Sleep had turned turbulent, filled with fleeting visions of Lyra, Elara, and the heroines of the novel. Their faces flashed in his mind—Lyra's icy stare, Elara's cutting remarks. The betrayals, once confined to a book, now clawed at his chest with sharp reality.
He jolted upright, breath shallow. The room felt suffocating. He had to get out, to breathe. Silently, he activated his "Shadow Step" ability—newly acquired, but already second nature after countless battles in the Nameless Grave. Like a whisper, he moved without a sound, leaving the house and melting into the shadows.
He made his way toward the lake near his family's estate—a place that had always brought him solace. The starlit water shimmered like a mirror, and Ren settled on the grassy shore, letting the cool air brush against his skin. For the first time in days, maybe weeks, he felt a flicker of peace.
Gazing into the water, his thoughts churned. The calm of the night wrapped around him, soothing his worn heart.
"I've always been alone," he whispered, barely audible. "Back in my old life, I had no one. No parents. No family. Just me, struggling to survive." He looked down, fists clenched. "This time around, I have parents. I know they care—I see it in their eyes. But…"
His voice faltered. "They're torn. Elara lost her parents, and her pain weighs on them. They're trying to balance us both. I told them not to scold her, no matter what she does."
That decision haunted him—one of many. A choice he'd made to protect Elara, now unraveling before his eyes. Her resentment, her harshness, her growing cruelty—they cut deeper each day. Still, he had asked his parents to go easy on her, believing it would help their family heal.
If only they'd intervened. Maybe things would've turned out differently. Maybe Elara would've stayed the sister he once laughed with as a child.
"But that version of her… feels so far away now."
His voice trembled. "They didn't do much with Lyra either. If they had told me what was happening… maybe we'd still be friends." He let out a bitter chuckle. "Friends? Who am I kidding?"
Lyra's barriers were tall, her heart locked tight. Still, Ren had hoped to reach her. He should've known better. His parents had warned him to stay away, but he'd ignored them, believing he could change fate. That he could rewrite the story.
"Why was I so damn stubborn?" he muttered. "Why did I think I could alter the story I already knew?"
Elara was his second death flag. Her thirst for vengeance mirrored the cold, calculated girl from the novel. Even then, he had forgiven her—telling himself she only acted that way because of her grief. He clung to the hope they could be siblings again. But that hope now felt like a lie.
"Was I naive?" he asked the sky, voice cracking. "Was I just fooling myself?"
Then came Aria Hills—his third flag. She'd been kind, gentle, unlike the others. For a while, Ren believed she was different, that she truly cared. But like the story foretold, she chose the protagonist and left Ren behind.
"Did I ever matter to her?" The betrayal burned sharper than he expected. "Was I the only one who thought we were friends?"
And then… Lyra. The deepest wound of all. His first love. His fiancée. The one person he trusted most.
"Pink-haired heroines," he muttered with a sad smirk, "always breaking hearts, huh?"
His voice was empty. The smile didn't reach his eyes. The story's ending loomed like a thunderstorm. So far, only fragments of the novel had come to pass, but Ren could feel what was coming: the betrayals, the blood, the tragic end.
"Will they betray me?" he whispered. "Will they… kill me?" The thought alone made his chest tighten. "It hurts. So much."
Tears threatened as buried emotions surged to the surface. "I was so alone in my last life. No friends. No family. Just work. I died with nothing. I thought this life would be better."
He lowered his voice, vulnerable and small. "I just wanted a family. I wanted love. But every time I try, I see their fake smiles… and I get scared."
"How can I love," he asked, "when I've never really felt it?"
His gaze returned to the water. Stars shimmered on its surface. This was where he met Lyra. Where they once laughed.
Now, it was just another graveyard of memories.
"My birthday's in two days," he murmured. "She'll give me the engagement cancellation." He laughed bitterly. "I kept the last one too. A matching pair."
Elara's cruel laughter echoed in his mind. Her challenge to a duel. "She'll beat me again," he said, voice dull. "Just like in the novel."
Even now, healed from that injury, he feared her next move. Another scheme. Another scar.
"And my parents?" he added. "They'll do nothing. Just throw me a grand party. Give me money. Call it love."
A dry, bitter laugh escaped his lips. "I told them Elara wasn't my rival. That she was my sister. I asked them not to punish her, no matter what. I really thought that would bring us closer."
He looked at the lake, its stillness endless. "What was wrong with me?"
The water reflected his face. He blinked—his reflection was streaked with tears.
"For the first time in two lives," he whispered, "I'm crying."
The realization hit him like a wave. It hurt… but it also felt freeing.
A quiet rustle behind him. Ren didn't turn. "Nathan, you did it?" he asked softly.
"Yes, Master," came the quiet reply.
Ren's eyes stayed on the lake. "Even with a second chance, I can't find peace."
"I could play the villain," he said, voice low. "Let them hate me. Even the ones I love."
"Because I love them. Even if they don't love me back." He wiped his eyes, smiling faintly. "But this loneliness… it's too heavy."
He stood slowly. "Come on, Nathan. We've got work to do."
They walked back together, wordless. The night air was crisp and cool.
Ren collapsed onto his bed. This time, sleep welcomed him like an old friend—gentle and forgiving. The weight he'd carried alone had lifted.
For the first time in a long time, Ren felt free.
And with that freedom came one fragile hope: that maybe, just maybe, he could learn to live.
To heal.
To be whole again.
Author's Note
Hey everyone! I know I haven't been uploading chapters lately, and I'm really sorry about that. I've been caught up with exams and studies these past few weeks.
My exams will be over by May 17, and starting from May 20, I'll resume regular updates.
Also, I'll be launching updates for my other novel as well—so please stay tuned and thank you so much for your patience and support!