Victory celebrations echoed through the Marsh of Misery for days. Daric basked in his fame (and in occasional free mugs of suspiciously strong cider). Tales of his battle with Honkos spread far and wide, growing increasingly absurd with every retelling. Some versions now featured him fighting Honkos atop a flaming chariot pulled by unicorns.
Daric didn't correct them.
But peace, as always, was short-lived.
Exactly one week later, while lounging on a hammock tied between two skeletal trees, Daric received another world notification:
[New World Threat Detected: Pyrovian the Sky Terror.]
[Species: Greater Fire Pigeon.]
Daric nearly fell out of the hammock.
"No," he whispered. "No. No. NO."
Yet above, high in the clouds, he could already see it: a bird-shaped silhouette trailing fire and doom across the sky.
The legends were true.
The fiery pigeon had come.
—
Daric wasted no time.
After gathering his gear (and a few gallons of water, just in case), he set off toward the burning forest visible on the horizon. Charred trees and scorched earth greeted him like ominous breadcrumbs.
The villagers he passed along the way fled indoors, peeking through windows and whispering prayers.
"You're insane," one old woman croaked from behind a shutter.
Daric offered a shaky thumbs-up. "Thanks, I guess."
He reached the battlefield—a massive crater surrounded by smoldering debris.
And there, perched atop a ruined statue, was Pyrovian.
A pigeon the size of a carriage. Gleaming red eyes. Feathers glowing like molten steel. Flames danced along its wings.
The creature spotted Daric and cooed.
A soft, menacing coo that somehow promised devastation.
[World Boss: Pyrovian, the Sky Terror.]
[Warning: Heat Level Critical.]
Sweating already, Daric drew his blade.
"Let's dance, spicy bird."
—
The battle was chaos incarnate.
Pyrovian launched flaming projectiles that exploded into showers of molten doom. Daric rolled, jumped, and dove like a man who desperately regretted all his life choices.
At one point, he attempted to climb a tree for high ground.
The tree caught fire immediately.
"Bad plan!" he yelped, backflipping away.
Thinking fast, he hurled his canteen at Pyrovian.
It hit squarely on the beak and did...absolutely nothing.
Pyrovian tilted his head, deeply unimpressed, then blasted a fireball that singed Daric's eyebrows clean off.
"GREAT," Daric shouted. "NOW I'M A BALD HERO."
System messages dinged in his vision:
[Status Effect: Charbroiled.]
[Defense temporarily reduced by 20%.]
Daric gritted his teeth. He needed a real strategy.
He remembered the Honk Nullification Scroll.
Desperate, he rifled through his inventory, finding a similar scroll marked with a doodle of a pigeon on fire.
"Please work," he begged, activating it.
[Scroll Activated: Pigeon Panic.]
A bubble of anti-fire magic erupted around him, negating incoming flames.
For the first time, Pyrovian hesitated.
Daric seized the moment, charging in close, landing rapid slashes across the pigeon's legs and wings.
Pyrovian screeched the flames around its body dimming.
But the victory was not so easily won.
The pigeon rose into the air, wings beating furious gusts of fiery wind. It began its ultimate attack:
Meteor Poop.
"WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?!" Daric shrieked as flaming projectiles rained down.
Dodging meteoric droppings became his entire life philosophy for the next several minutes.
Bruised, scorched, and profoundly humiliated, Daric concocted a final, desperate plan.
Spotting a nearby well, he sprinted for it under a hail of fire and feathers. He kicked the well's crank until it snapped, flooding the battlefield with water.
Pyrovian swooped low, wings skimming the ground.
Daric hurled his last weapon: a bucket of mud.
The mud hit Pyrovian dead in the face, blinding it.
"Taste marsh sludge, you overcooked turkey!" Daric bellowed.
Staggering, and screeching, the pigeon plummeted, crashing into the waterlogged ground with a tremendous splash.
Seizing the opportunity, Daric sprinted up the creature's massive back and jammed his blade into the base of its neck.
A final explosive screech rents the air.
Pyrovian convulsed once—twice—then went still.
System alerts cascaded:
[World Boss Defeated: Pyrovian the Sky Terror.]
[Rewards: 20,000 Essence, Flameproof Cloak (Legendary Item), Title Unlocked: The Charred Avenger.]
Daric collapsed backward into the mud, staring up at the smoke-filled sky.
He coughed once. Then again.
Then he laughed.
And laughed.
And laughed.
Because of course, it had been a giant flaming pigeon.
Why not?
Bards would have a field day with this.
—
Later that night, after a much-needed bath in three barrels of soap and prayer, Daric sat at the village tavern, proudly wearing his new Flameproof Cloak (which still smelled faintly of roast pigeon).
Villagers toasted him.
Children ran around wearing paper wings and breathing smoke through straws.
A drunk bard composed a new ballad titled "The Hero and the Fiery Poo."
Daric accepted his fate.
As he lifted a mug in a toast to his absurd life, another world notification chimed:
[New Threat Incoming: Doom Ducks of the Northern Ice Wastes.]
Daric slammed his forehead into the table.
"I'M DONE WITH BIRDS!"
But deep down, he smiled.
Because even if destiny kept sending feathered horrors his way...
He would keep fighting.
(And maybe invest in a good helmet.)