The next morning, the cave was quiet.
Yue Lanyin lay on her side, a towel under her leaking lower half, still twitching every few minutes. Her once-imposing aura had been reduced to faint spiritual hiccups and occasional soft moans of aftershock.
Lan'er sat at the mouth of the cave, looking at her jade tab.
"Uh, Master…"
I groaned, wiping the crust from my eyes. "What now?"
She turned the screen toward me.
GoonHub – Top Rated Dual Cultivators (Last 24h)
#3: Anonymous Goon Slayer
Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Review by YueLanyin69:
> "Destroyed my womb. Reached depths no man should reach. Currently paralyzed. Would duel again. 5 stars."
I blinked. "She left a review?!"
"She also posted a pic."
The screen shifted to an image of Yue Lanyin lying on the mat, legs spread, cum still leaking out like a busted spiritual fountain. She added emojis. One of them was just a white explosion next to a coffin.
I sat up slowly. "I didn't even know GoonHub was real…"
Lan'er laughed. "You're trending in the 'Deep Impact' category. The tags are wild—'Wombbreaker,' 'Edged God,' 'God-tier Nut Surgeon'…"
A new notification popped up.
> New Follower: MatriarchLi69
"You've caught my eye, young man. Let's talk breeding contracts."
I choked on my tea.
"This isn't good."
"This is hilarious," Lan'er giggled. "You're famous now. Your 'performance' got reposted on the Dual Cultivators' Discord. Some girls are offering spiritual panties if you accept their duel invites."
I flipped the screen away. "I didn't ask for this. I just wanted to live quietly, bust a nut every three days, and maybe not die."
Then a ding.
Another review.
> Username: Milfwrecker21
"I haven't even fought you yet, but I already know that load's special. DM me, babe."
Lan'er looked up with mock innocence. "Should I start booking your appointments, Master? I can set up a shared calendar and everything."
"Lan'er."
"Yes?"
"Delete my GoonHub account."
She tilted her head. "You think you control that? Yue Lanyin tagged your spiritual signature. You're verified now. You have a blue checkmark."
Another ding.
> New Invite: VirginSect_Nun420
"We think you're a threat to our purity vows. Let us investigate personally. Very thoroughly."
I stared blankly at the screen.
"Okay. New plan."
Lan'er perked up. "Hide again?"
"No. If I'm gonna get hunted anyway… I'm gonna monetize this shit."
She blinked. "Excuse me?"
I stood tall. Shirtless. Glowing faintly from lingering nut aura.
"We're starting a sect. One that specializes in dual cultivation. Proper training. Proper form. No amateur hour. I'll teach them edge control, breathing techniques, internal goon flow…"
Lan'er stood with me. "What are we calling it?"
I smirked.
"The Sacred Load Temple."
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