The tension in the room rose before the Kingmaker seemed to calm down.
I breathed a sigh of relief. As expected of this powerful man… From everything I had learned about him, he was a man of deep religious virtue, despite my opinion of his villainy. It seemed like the reports were right.
"What do you think is his self-indulgence, as you call it?" The Kingmaker asked before turning back to the screen and gesturing at the Pawn.
I also looked back at the screen. The Pawn was still hard at work. His eyes were unfocused, perhaps due to staring too long at the computer. Or perhaps, he was on some of his 'medications' as was often rumoured.
Still, he seemed to be concentrating hard on whatever task was at hand.
However, there was a certain gloom around him. It was almost like depression was embodied around him like a physical aura. He would probably elicit pity from many if it were not for his personality, actions and beliefs.
"I think he wants to create a world where he feels happy and comfortable," I said in a quiet voice.
I could tell that the Kingmaker was surprised by my answer because he seemed to become still. He did not have restlessness, but the sudden calm was quite obvious. His next words confirmed my thoughts.
"I did not think you would have sympathy for him," The Kingmaker said. "I am quite certain you have had very unflattering opinions of him, as far as I know. You do not make secrets about what you think about him."
I laughed out loud. It was funny to laugh in a situation where someone admitted to knowing of my correspondence in my group chats. But I found it funny that he was surprised that I would show sympathy.
"Understanding someone does not necessarily mean sympathy," I replied. "You and I are different in one key thing. You have strong convictions that cannot be changed. It is what makes you who you are. On the other hand, my strength is in being able to reframe my mind and see the situation. It is not sympathy. It is empathy."
The Kingmaker made a noise of amusement.
"I find empathy to be the greatest sin in the modern world," The Kingmaker said. "Our society would not have fallen so far if it were not for the constant push to understand different kinds of people, even those who have fallen from the creator's natural design."
My face fell a little as once again I understood that this ordeal I was experiencing would not end well. I was not the hero, and I knew I would not change the Kingmaker's heart. But again, it was not my place.
The only reason I was here was to understand a mystery that had almost driven me crazy.
"I think the lack of empathy is the greatest sin of men, not women," I could not help saying. "If more men had even a little bit of true empathy despite their position of power, there might be peace in the world. Instead, the lack of empathy demands enforced oppression in the name of order just to maintain the status quo even though there is no real threat."
The Kingmaker did not comment on my statement. I did not expect him to because it was a topic that most men, even those without a high level of power, were never willing to address it. Instead, he directed me back to the screen where the Pawn was making a call.
His eyes were flickering with anger. He seemed to shout something on the phone before banging his fist on the desk.
"Tell me more about the world you think he wants to create," The Kingmaker said, returning to our earlier conversation.
I took a breath as I tried to organise my thoughts.
"I think he grew up with an inflated sense of self-worth, probably due to a wealthy background. However, he quickly discovered that the world did not reflect what he believed since he was born. While he was valued at home, he did not find the same esteem, love and acceptance in the outside world."
"Unfortunately, for whatever reason, his personal beliefs were already too deeply ingrained. A normal person tends to adjust and learn depending on new facts presented or general interactions. It is called growing up. I would guess that he developed some level of abnormal psychology due to nature or nurture, if not both."
The Kingmaker seemed to get impatient, but as always, he seemed to exercise self-control. However, I did not want to irritate someone who had me in a secret basement. I tried to force my pedantic personality to get my words out faster.
"A regular person without astronomical resources would eventually learn how to deal with their unhappiness by working on themselves. They would, through their family, friends, therapy or whatever means, learn how to live and be happy in the existing world they do not like. They might even learn to love it."
I looked at the Pawn who was pacing angrily in the office.
"Instead of that, he has chosen to force the world to change for him and become a happy place for him. He thinks that if he can rebuild the world, he will find the happiness he believes he was denied. He cannot accept that he is the problem. He would rather believe that the whole world is wrong except for him."
I looked at the Kingmaker, and his aged face was once again a little more relaxed. He did not appear displeased with the response. I almost sighed with relief because it felt like I was playing with the whiskers of a dangerous dragon.
"An interesting assessment," the Kingmaker said instead of telling me if I was right or not. "What do you think his role is in the mission? I understand that you assume that the Order of the Paragons is using him."
I was a little startled by this follow-up question. I was no longer shocked by how casually he admitted to having looked into my activities on my phone. In addition, I had indeed mentioned once that I thought the Pawn was under the influence of the Order of the Paragons.
I did not have a high opinion of the Pawn, especially with regard to his emotional intelligence.
His rise to power was dubious at best.
Therefore, I was certain that someone or some people were behind his current position. It was not surprising that the Kingmaker would mention my theories about him being under the control of the Order of Paragons.