My eyes jumped around in total confusion. The only thing I could think to do was walk toward the people I saw far away. Maybe, just maybe, they had some answers.
But... I looked down at my groin. How was I supposed to meet people, men and women, completely naked?
Even the birds were staring! If birds could oogle, these ones were definitely doing it. What would humans do? Probably something worse.
"Okay, Drake," I told myself. "First step, cover that thing up!"
I remembered making a stylish leaf brief back in the valley. But now? No leaves. Just a bunch of tall stalks waving around, like nature was teasing me.
I bent down quickly, still using one hand to cover myself, and started picking up dry stalks with the other. Those stupid birds were still watching, like it was some kind of show. Ugh!
After gathering enough stalks, I hit another problem: how was I going to tie these together with only one hand? I had two choices, let go of my hand and give the birds a full view, or magically turn into a one-handed weaver.
Seriously, why was I trying to stay decent for birds? Birds!
I squinted at them and smirked. "Ha! I've got the bigger brain," I told the feathery weirdos who looked like they were holding a meeting about my situation.
Then I sat down carefully and placed a stalk right over my groin like a champion. Hands-free. Genius.
"I won, bitches and me...n!" I dragged the word men slowly, unsure if any of those people in the distance were even guys.
Smirking at the birds, who were now whistling, flapping their wings, and shaking their little tail feathers, I started twisting and tying the stalks together into something... something that wasn't quite clothing yet.
Who knew I had skills? Poor me. From working in a fancy office at a top company, to being a Grand Alpha, and now? A naked man surrounded by horny birds and making grass underwear like it's a fashion show.
Honestly, I deserved a medal. Maybe even a lifetime achievement award, for being a multitalented man who may or may not be dead. Still not confirmed.
Slowly, and with all the patience I could find in my half-dignified soul, I managed to create a wearable… thing. I wrapped it around my waist and looked at myself proudly.
Hmm. Proud? Over dried grass tied around my waist? Wow. I wasn't sure if I looked like Drake Campbell, Grand Alpha, or one of those African masquerades I'd seen online.
I stood up tall, hands on my hips, and did a dramatic twirl. "How do I look?" I asked my new feathery friends.
"Squeak! Squeak! Squeak!" they shrieked in response.
"Wow! So you do like my new look," I giggled.
I stared at them with amusement. Or maybe they were the ones laughing at me. Was it because I looked like... wait.
A deep frown crept onto my face as I looked closer at the birds. I had no idea what species they were. I'm no zoologist, but one thing stood out: if I added a few more stalks, I might actually look like one of them. Their feathers and my grass outfit had similar vibes.
My eyes widened. The thought hit me like a thunderbolt.
"Goddess forbid," I muttered, horrified. I took a few steps back from the birds and turned around.
Time to leave.
I started walking through the wheat field, my one-of-a-kind grass outfit rustling as I moved, determined to find that farmhouse and hopefully, some real clothes.
I heard squeaky sounds behind me and turned around. The birds were flying together in a group, and they were following me.
I rolled my eyes and kept walking, pretending not to care. But the squeaks got louder. I turned again. There were more of them now.
"What the heck is going on?" I muttered, annoyed, even though I knew they wouldn't answer. They were birds, not talk-show hosts.
I looked down at myself. Did I accidentally steal something from them? Was I wearing bird fashion now? Or did they just really like my grass outfit?
Before I could figure it out, they swarmed around me, flapping their wings like crazy. I couldn't even see where I was going! The air from their wings blew in my face like a natural hairdryer on full blast.
"What is this?" I barked, stepping back.
"Enough! Get the heck out of my way!" I yelled. I'd had it with their creepy bird crush and sky-high trolling.
"Go away!" I roared and swung my arms wildly. I think I hit a few, but they still didn't budge.
Furious, I grabbed some dry stalks, tied them together like a broom, and started sweeping the air like a mad man. That did it. Some flew away. But not all.
I hit the air again, harder this time. "Shoo! I'm not your king!"
More birds took off. Good. But a few were still sticking around like nosy aunties.
"I'll blind all of you if you don't leave!" I shouted, lifting the stalks for one final sweep.
But then, whoosh! The stalks flew out of my hand.
I froze. My eyebrows knitted together in confusion. I turned slowly, and my heart nearly jumped out of my chest.
Right there, standing, or more like looming, was a giant bird. The biggest I had ever seen in my entire life.
I swear, that thing had to be at least three feet tall. It hovered above my head like a drone,
Its wings were massive, stretching far beyond anything natural. It hovered like some mythical creature, beak clutched around my bundle of stalks, its eyes glowing unnaturally. I almost couldn't breathe.
I blinked, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. "This... isn't real."
But before I could move, the bird let out a low, deep croak that vibrated in my chest, and sent chills down my spine.
And just when I thought things couldn't get weirder, they did.
I looked around and noticed the other birds weren't flying anymore. Nope. They were on the ground, but not just standing. Their bellies were flat on the dirt, wings spread out like they were doing some sort of bird yoga, or maybe bowing.
"Holy cow!" I gasped. What exactly was happening?
I didn't know if I was in a magical forest or stuck in some weird horror dream, but I knew one thing for sure, I had to get out of there. And now.
I didn't care if I had to run across the whole field wearing nothing but my grass underwear. I was leaving.
I tried to ignore the strange birds behind me, still lying on the ground. I just picked up my pace and started walking faster.
But just as I took one more step forward, the big bird flew ahead of me. It moved smoothly, almost like it was floating. Then it landed right in my path and gently dropped my stalks onto the ground.
It didn't attack. It didn't even look angry. It just, stopped me.
I stepped back, heart racing. "I won't give you the attention you clearly need," I muttered under my breath, hiding my fear and stepping forward. I'm a Grand Alpha. Yes I am.
But then, bam! I froze again.
This time, It hit me like a lightning bolt. I couldn't move. My body locked up. And then, right in front of my wide, terrified eyes, the giant bird began to change.
Its wings pulled in. Its feathers melted away. Its shape shifted, bones cracking and twisting, until the bird was no longer a bird.
It was a woman. A beautiful woman.