"My husband can't be a weakling." The Queen dropped that bomb right at the breakfast table. Was she breaking up with me?
"I'm very satisfied with your performance in bed. But you fight like a weakling — it's simply embarrassing." Well, at least I'm good in bed.
"From now on, you're going through rigorous training with Sabrina."
I had loved the pain the Queen had caused me, but something told me I wouldn't enjoy the pain Sabrina was about to deliver. I could see it in her wicked little smile the moment the Queen made the announcement.
At least she wasn't breaking up with me. Remember, I was a dead man until the Queen cut off her own husband's head to marry me. So from here on out, everything's a bonus. I'm not about to complain.
"Why doesn't my Queen train with us?" I asked, hopeful this training could turn into another one of her roleplays.
"I sent poor Antonietta to my harem, but I haven't visited her yet."
Let me get this straight: I'll be here suffering in the sadistic hands of Sabrina, while Antonietta is having fun in the hands — quite literally, probably — of the Queen? Tell me about injustice.
There was no escape. The Queen just left to go do with Antonietta everything you'll have to imagine. After all, this novel is written in first person, and I can't describe what I didn't witness.
Meanwhile, I'd be here suffering through exhausting training. And you all are screwed, too, because you'll be stuck with me. I know you'd rather go with the Queen.
Out in the training field: "We'll start by evaluating your level. I borrowed this crystal plate from the Demon Army's arsenal. Please place your hand on it."
Yes, exactly what you're thinking. I'm introducing a power system. After all, our nerdy RPG friends need something to complain about in the comments. Complaining that the system makes no sense, that I have no clue what I'm doing — that'll keep them busy.
Name: Arthur William Habsberg von Lichtenburg
Age: 21
Race: Human
Class: Spell Knight
Affinity: Water, Light
Level: Weakling
XP: 323 / 1000
Stats:
HP: 895
MP: 75
ATK: 84
DEF: 93
RES: 115
SPD: 77
"Why 'Weakling'? By the Kingdom's standards, I'm Intermediate. Besides, this device is broken. Where's all the XP I got from killing that damned spider?"
"No wonder this Kingdom had no hope if you're considered 'Intermediate.' And from what the Queen told me, you only managed to kill the Tarantula because she lent you her powers. So you didn't earn any XP."
"This can't be! This thing is broken. I'm not that weak, am I?"
She then let me see her own stats for comparison.
Name: Sabrina von Luciferborn
Age: 731
Race: Demon
Class: Assassin
Affinity: Darkness
Level: ArchDemon
XP: 7500 / 75,000
Stats: HP: 7550
MP: 1250
ATK: 2850
DEF: 1150
RES: 2850
SPD: 3950
Yeah… there was a tiny power gap between us.
"The situation is worse than I imagined."Yeah, I have to agree."We'll have to initiate Rock Lee-level training."
Why doesn't she just admit she's dying to see me suffer?
"You'll start the day with two full laps around the castle walls."
She does realize that's basically a full marathon, right?
"Then you'll do a thousand push-ups, a thousand sit-ups, a thousand squats..."
A thousand? She really said a thousand, right? You all heard it too.
"Then you'll do another two laps — handstanding."
Okay, now the author is just making stuff up to pad the chapter. No way she expects me to run two marathons a day — one of them upside down.
"At lunch, you'll get a thirty-minute break."
Wait... all that was just the morning workout?
"Then you'll return for sword training."
If I'm still alive by then.
"You'll repeat each movement I teach you a thousand times."
Here we go again with the thousand repetitions.
"Then we spar until dinner time."
May the gods have mercy on me.
"Also, with only Water and Light affinities, you'd make a decent Healer — but the Queen can't be seen married to one."
Just to be clear: the passive-aggressive shade toward Healers is Sabrina speaking, not the author's personal opinion.
"To turn you into the DPS the Queen deserves, we'll need to give you an affinity with an actually useful element."
Sure. And how exactly does she plan to do that? Affinity is innate; only legendary artifacts can grant new ones.
"Legend says there are several legendary artifacts in the secret chamber of this castle's Dungeon." How convenient. "So we'll dive into the depths of the dungeon until we find the secret chamber."
Something tells me dungeon expeditions with Sabrina won't be as pleasant as they were with the Queen.
"I'll turn you into someone worthy of the Queen — or my name isn't Sabrina. Any questions?"
"Why don't you just kill me already?" The question came out so naturally I didn't even realize I'd said it out loud.
"I'd love to, but that wouldn't make my Queen happy."
Dear God. My good, merciful God. Please, let the Queen love me forever. I don't even want to imagine what Sabrina would do to me if the day ever came that the Queen lost interest.