"Hey…Ji-han, have you ever had sex?"
"Yeah."
I answered immediately with a nonchalant expression.
"Bullshit. It's written all over your face that you're lying."
"Damn it."
But I was caught.
Why? My acting was perfect.
I awkwardly rubbed my face.
Seong Ji-min chuckled and continued, "You know, I like girls more than guys. So I've only ever had sex with girls."
Should I also say that I like guys more than girls right now?
Hmm..that doesn't feel right. But I've never done it with a guy either. Hmm…
"Then it suddenly occurred to me. Is what I'm doing right now really sex? I thought." she continued.
"You lucky bastard."
Some people call– just chicken and beer– sex.
You get to pick and choose any girl you want to do it with. What's your problem?
"We're young now so it's fine. As long as we can spend the night in pleasure, it's alright. But what about in 10 years? What about in 20 years?"
Because Seong Ji-min started talking about something difficult, I found it difficult to follow along.
"What if, when we're old, our faces are all wrinkled and our joints hurt so much we can't even climb stairs?"
––"Ahem. This place has good seasoning."
"What if our charm fades and our stamina runs out? So we can't even have sex anymore? What do we do then?"
––"Should I have asked for a little more fried chicken?"
-Bang!
Seong Ji-min slammed the table hard with her fist.
A little bit of beer splashed out of the glass.
"Sex between women only brings pleasure in that moment! There's no future in it!"
––"Ah. Right, right. The future, you mean."
"What's the point of just embracing and comforting each other? We can't produce anything!"
—-"Really? I find it quite interesting, though."
"So, I thought. I should try dating a man."
Abruptly. My chopsticks stopped.
Hmm. Ji-min dating a man is, well... kind of. Ummm...
"But even though I think about it, it's hard to actually do."
"Really? It seems like you could have anyone you wanted if you just put your mind to it."
"You don't know what it's like to be me."
I wouldn't know. How would I know what it's like to be a woman who attracts women just by breathing? Women run away from me just by breathing.
"So, I was wondering. Show me your dick."
"What the fuck? Why is the conversation suddenly going in that direction?"
There are levels to being out of the blue. My dick isn't some phallic symbol that's effective for romantic success.
"The reason I like women more is because of you. Because you showed me your huge dick when we were young, that's why I became like this."
"...That's because of me?"
That was another shocking truth.
A small experience in childhood can have a big impact on a person's future.
It wasn't impossible that Ji-min, who had become an adult, might hate men and like women because I showed my penis to Ji-min when she was young.
But to think I inflicted such a trauma on Ji-min to the point where she couldn't even meet men... It was as if I had changed a person's life.
"So, show me your dick."
"If it's something like that, it can't be helped...No, wait a minute, it can! What does that have to do with me showing my dick?!"
"What does it have to do with it? It's your fault, so you have to take responsibility!"
"Are you saying I should use my dick as a therapy tool to overcome your trauma? My dick is too pitiful to be treated like that!"
"What are you talking about? Are you, a man, trying to avoid responsibility? Cut off your dick!"
"Okay! I was a minor then! So I'm innocent, I plead not guilty, not guilty!"
Ji-min clicked her tongue and stared at me silently. In deep thought, a slight frown on her face.
I stared back resolutely, as I couldn't back down with my dick on the line.
Using my dick as hate material to overcome trauma. My dick, which hasn't even met a woman yet, was too pitiful for that. This was a fight I couldn't concede.
Ji-min, who had been silent, opened her mouth as if she had made up her mind, seeing that I had no intention of backing down.
"Okay. Let's do this. If you show me yours, I'll show you mine too."
"What?."
It was a shocking proposition. So shocking that I was speechless for a moment.
I almost accepted it without even realizing it.
"...No. I won't fall for that trick!"
But when the other party proposes a deal that is too advantageous, you should be suspicious first.
I was barely able to avoid being tricked by Ji-min.
"You're just going to run away without showing me after I show you, right? It's obvious."
"Tsk. You're going to keep acting like that until the end, huh?"
Ji-min crossed her arms and fell into thought when the negotiation didn't go well.
My gaze was naturally drawn to her chest as it gathered together because of her crossed arms.
"Alright, I'll show you mine first, and then you show me yours. Deal?"
"W-w-what?!"
What the heck is this? What's the hidden agenda here?
What is Seong Ji-min trying to get out of me? Why is she doing this?
"Ah, I won't fall for it! I won't!"
After all, it's only natural for a man to suspect a cult or multi-level marketing scheme when an overly beautiful woman asks for his number.
I resisted with all the reason I had left.
"Hmph."
*Whoosh*
Seong Ji-min lifted her top.
A short crop top, and the bra she was wearing underneath.
I stared at her with my mouth open.
Her magnificent breasts, which were already captivating even under her clothes, revealed their true form. The sight of a pair of breasts swaying and bursting into the world was a spectacle worthy of being designated a UNESCO Intangible Cultural Heritage.
Beautiful.
I was captivated in an instant.
Whether Seong Ji-min was a childhood friend or not no longer mattered. There was a utopia there that any man should pursue, even at the cost of his life.
"...Deal?"
A moment later, Seong Ji-min pulled her top back down.
It felt like the light had disappeared from the world.
However, thanks to that, I, who had momentarily lost my senses, was barely able to retrieve my runaway soul.
I started making ridiculous demands again.
"N-no?! No way? No way, no way? If I have to show you my dick, then you have to show me your pussy, right? This isn't a fair trade!"
"Tch. Guess it won't work."
However, surprisingly, that unreasonable demand worked.
It seemed Seong Ji-min had thought from the beginning that this condition wasn't going to work.
"We will not succumb to breasts!"
I raised my voice as much as possible, even to scold myself, who felt like I was about to collapse at any moment.
If we get over this mountain, more delicious fruit awaits. So, I can't lie down now.
"That's right... um..."
Seong Ji-min had boldly bared her chest, but maybe she couldn't bring herself to expose her vagina, no matter what.
Seong Ji-min sank into contemplation again, and I diligently shouted opposing slogans.
"...Wait a moment. I'll take a shower and come out."
"Huh?"
That was the conclusion Seong Ji-min reached after a long period of consideration.
Then Seong Ji-min got up from her seat and went into the bathroom.
"Huh? She's going to shower? Huh?"
Left alone in the room, I fell into utter confusion.
A man and a woman are drinking alcohol in a studio apartment, and the woman goes to take a shower.
What will happen next?
"No, huh? No?"
Should I really see this as her just wanting to shower purely because she wants to shower?
Seong Ji-min is my close friend, and she would never see me as a potential romantic partner.
Therefore, having unnecessary expectations would be a great discourtesy to my friend.
"Ugh."
The alcohol was making my head spin.
And my brain wasn't good to begin with to handle difficult thoughts.
"Let's just drink."
Yeah. Let's just drink.
Exposing her chest, asking to see my dick, those are things you can do because we're close friends. If she thought of me as a real man, she wouldn't do things like that.
For my friend Seong Ji-min, the distinction between male and female is meaningless. Just like when I used to casually whip out my dick in front of her when we were kids, Seong Ji-min bared her chest without thinking. Because there's no problem showing it to me.
"Kuheuh."
The alcohol is sweet.
Since the opened bottle was empty, I took out a new bottle from the plastic bag.
Inside the bag, besides the alcohol, was a small box, about the size of a pack of cigarettes.
Cigarettes? A snack? Gum?
None of the above.
It was a condom.
"..."
Why... is there a condom?
I took the condom out and fell into contemplation.
What are condoms used for?
Of course, the primary use is for when a man and woman have sex.
But on YouTube, people put them on their heads or use them to make water balloons, right?
I, too, thought it was amazing that they don't burst even when filled with water.
Maybe Seong Ji-min saw that and wanted to try?
But since a grown-up doing such childish pranks is embarrassing, she chased me out of the convenience store to buy condoms when I wasn't looking?
"Aha. That must be it."
If that's the case, I should act like an adult and pretend I don't know.
I put the condom back in the plastic bag and only took out the alcohol.
I couldn't taste the alcohol anymore.
"Hey. Wash the towel. It smells."
"I can just wipe it and let it dry, why wash it?"
"Ugh. You gross guy."
Seong Ji-min came out after finishing her shower.
Her hair shone with wetness, and her skin was red.
She came out wearing the same clothes she'd had on before showering, and it just felt...sexy. To the point where me looking at her felt like committing a crime.
"If I show you my pussy, you'll show me your dick, right?"
"..."
If I was going to stop this, now was the only chance.
Even if I saw Seong Ji-min's pussy, and I showed her my dick, could I maintain my sanity?
Could I continue to treat Seong Ji-min as just a childhood friend? Could I trust myself not to touch her?
No.
No, I already didn't see Seong Ji-min as just a childhood friend.
Maybe from the very beginning. From the moment I knew Seong Ji-min was a woman, I didn't think of her as just a friend.
As an attractive woman, as a female I had to fuck.
I had just been playing along until now. Playing along with Seong Ji-min's childhood friend game.
"...Hey. Ji-min. Actuall-AAAAHH?!"
But, It was already too late.
Because Seong Ji-min was already taking off her clothes.