"Is that all you got, buttercups?" Elion drawled, feigning a wince as Cassandra"s attack dissipated harmlessly around him. He"d seen it coming a mile away, his "Lazy System" – bless its indolent code – having helpfully whispered a warning in his ear (more like a bored sigh, really) just moments before.
The system, truth be told, was less a "golden finger" and more a perpetually napping roommate who occasionally mumbled useful tidbits in its sleep.
Cassandra, bless her scheming little heart, puffed up like a preening peacock.
"Oh, the agony! You've… you've struck me down, fiend!" He managed a convincing cough, adding a sprinkle of theatrical blood (courtesy of a conveniently placed ketchup packet – never underestimate the importance of props). Cassandra, thoroughly duped, bought the performance hook, line, and sinker.
With a satisfied smirk, she vanished in a swirl of purple smoke, leaving Elion to dust himself off and stifle a yawn.
"Keep an ear out, Sammy. See what little Alfred is cooking up." Samuel, ever the dutiful (if slightly over-enthusiastic) follower, scurried off. He returned a few hours later, his face pale and his voice hushed.
"They…they"re planning an all-out attack, Your Laziness. They intend to wipe the Eternal Empire off the map! Elion sighed.
Honestly, the constant attempts on his naptime were getting tiresome.
"So," Elion began, leaning back in his throne, "apparently, someone wants to redecorate. Any thoughts?" Avril, ever the pragmatist (with a dash of pyromania), piped up. "I say we blow them up first."
Something…lazy. Avril, a mischievous glint in her eyes, offered a different approach.
"My network of shady contacts whispers about a new type of magic-mech fusion they're cooking up. Nasty stuff. Give me some time, and I can dig up the details. Maybe find a weakness."
"Sammy, you"re with Avril. Try not to break anything…or anyone. Samuel beamed, already halfway out the door.
He closed his eyes, listening to the low hum emanating from the depths of his being.
The system, it seemed, had finally digested Cassandra"s attack. A slow smile spread across Elion"s face.
This could be…interesting.
"Now," he murmured, a gleam of anticipation in his eyes, "let"s see what new toys I"ve acquired…" He snapped his fingers, and the throne room plunged into darkness. A single voice, low and menacing, echoed in the sudden silence.
"Report." Alright, buckle up, buttercups, 'cause things are about to get spicy! As Avril and Samuel dove headfirst into the underbelly of the enemy's tech, Elion was busy having a tête-à-tête with his Lazy System.
Turns out, absorbing Cassandra's measly attack was like a power-nap for the system – it woke up refreshed and chatty (well, as chatty as a perpetually-napping AI could be).
"Fusion core… unstable. Location… bingo." Elion's eyes snapped open. Bingo indeed!
Apparently, the new's big boom-boom stick was powered by a colossal energy core, and Sammy, bless his adventurous soul, had stumbled right on its location while tailing Alfred.
Talk about hitting the jackpot!
"Turns out our friends have a weak spot, and it's bigger than my appetite for afternoon naps." Avril raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Lay it on us, oh Lazy One. What's the catch?"
"Avril, you and your teleporting arrows will create a diversion. Draw their attention away from the core." Avril smirked, cracking her knuckles. "Consider it done, sunshine. Time for some target practice."
"Alright, let's move out. It's time to show these guys what happens when you mess with a lazy Archon's naptime." He paused, a sly grin spreading across his face. "Avril, darling, ready for a little road trip?"