They say there's a difference between wanting something and needing it.
Wants are wild, shifting things — born from restless hearts and hungry eyes, forever chasing what glimmers just out of reach. Needs, though… needs are quieter. They anchor us, whether we acknowledge them or not. A need is what keeps the body breathing and the soul standing when the world falls apart.
I learned this not in a single moment, but in the spaces between them — in every choice I made, every face I left behind, every secret I carried. Life has a way of testing which is which.
And in this story, you'll see: what we want can destroy us. What we need… might be the only thing that saves us.
They say life is a series of choices, but no one ever warns you how blurry those choices can become when the heart and mind refuse to agree. The difference between what we want and what we need isn't always as clear as we pretend it is. It hides in the quiet moments, in stolen glances, in the ache of unanswered questions. And sometimes, the very thing we're chasing becomes the thing that unravels us.
But it's not as easy as you might think. Is my dream a want or a need? I need it for my future, but it also feels like I just want it. Are feelings supposed to be followed, rather than grounded in facts? If so, which path should I choose? It's hard to trust facts when your feelings for someone are stronger than the reality you know in your mind — but your heart won't follow.
I knew from the start that this person wasn't a green flag, and I'm sure of it. But, wow… I'm still tempted. My brain knows the truth, but my heart refuses to believe it. I've earned the best grades, but this person makes me feel so naive, so foolish, caught up in these so-called desires. Is this desire... or love?
I need what I need, but I feel as though I'm using this person. It's like I'm lost between what my mind knows and what my heart craves. How do I choose when neither side of me can agree?
Maybe this story isn't about choosing at all.
Maybe it's about understanding why I ever believed I had to. Or Something...
............
A year ago...
Callista's POV
People think having everything means having no problems.
A beautiful face, a well-known family name, a voice that people applaud for… it sounds perfect on paper. But what they don't see — what no one really bothers to ask — is how heavy it feels to be someone you didn't choose to be.
I'm tired of people loving the idea of me. The pretty, polished version with the perfect smile, the perfect notes, the perfect grades. No one ever asks what it's like to be so terrified of falling apart because you don't want to disappoint the people who built you.
And love?
Love is the cruelest part. I never know if it's me they want… or my name, my voice, my family, my face. I want to believe in it, I really do. But how do you trust something that feels so good when your head is screaming that it's wrong?
I'm so good at hiding it now — this constant war between what I feel and what I know. Between wanting to be free and being too afraid to lose control.
Maybe I am too much.
Too emotional. Too complicated. Too scared.
But this is me… whether anyone sees it or not.
I was in my room, strumming a sad tune on my guitar while softly singing along, when suddenly —
"Callista!"
My father's voice.
That's… weird. He never calls me like that. And was that… excitement? Or was he furious? It was hard to tell. Normally, he just sends a servant to fetch me. Hearing his actual voice calling me directly, sounding strangely eager, sent a ripple of unease through me.
Why does he sound… excited?
I set my guitar down, sighed, and stepped out of my room. As I made my way downstairs, I saw a tall man — around six feet, with striking black hair — sitting on the sofa, casually talking to my father. He looked like he was in his twenties.
Why would Father call me down for this? Is it important?
As I descended the staircase in my plain pajamas — having only bothered to comb and tie up my hair — my father's eyes lit up. He looked so… excited. Which was very unusual, considering he was always cold and distant with me. He prioritized my brothers far more than me.
He waved his hand impatiently, gesturing in a come here now, hurry up way, as though I should run over and sit beside him. It was strange… because honestly, my father feels like a stranger to me.
Then, with a huge grin on his face, he spoke.
"Callista, this is Aurelius."
Oh… so that's the guy's name?
Well… I gotta admit, he looks fine.
But that's it.
I replied flatly, "And?"
Of course, no filter. I know I'm rude, but what can I say? I'm done playing the perfect child for the public. Who the hell is this Aurelius guy that my father suddenly wants to introduce me to?
My father's brow twitched at my tone, and though I secretly smirked, I kept it hidden. I knew better — or he'd probably cut off my allowance.
Then he said it.
"He'll be your fiancé."
His face was strict. Dead serious.
I stared at him. "Ah, I see. Fiancé, huh."
It took a moment. Then it hit me.
Fiancé? Fiancé???
Huh???!
Is he out of his mind? I'm nineteen — barely even twenty! What is this, the dark ages? I mean sure, there are still young women getting married these days, but… seriously?
I looked back at my father, stunned. Completely stunned and speechless.
"Huh? What did you just say, Father?"
He sighed, his expression a little annoyed.
"You're getting married to him. The wedding is next month, so be prepared. I'm off — you two should talk. I have work to do."
And just like that, he stood up and walked away without even glancing back. Not even a single look.
I turned awkwardly to the man — Aurelius — stealing a glance. Just a little peek. But damn… it hurt.
He was staring. Cold, sharp, dagger-like eyes. A perfect shot to the bullseye — and I was the bullseye. Yes, he noticed me, and yes, I noticed him.
Silence. Awkward, heavy silence.
I was sweating — not because I was nervous, but because the awkwardness was suffocating. I wanted to start a conversation, but his eyes… those icy, intimidating eyes… made me hesitate.
Then, without meaning to, my gaze drifted. His body…
Wait… what the hell, Callista? Are you being a pervert now?
I mean… look at him. That chiseled body, the sharp jawline, the muscles, the bobbing Adam's apple — literally the stuff you only read about in novels.
Before I could even snap out of it, his deep, husky voice broke the silence.
"You're drooling, pervert."
I looked up, completely stunned — and, not gonna lie — a little amazed. That voice. It was unfair.
But then it hit me.
I was indeed drooling.
Quickly, I wiped my mouth and cleared my throat, snapping back into 'perfect daughter' mode with a professional smile.
"It's nice to meet you, Aurelius."
I extended my hand, expecting he'd take it.
He didn't.
It was painfully awkward for a moment.
Still smiling, I continued,
"My name is Callista Evangeline Moreau. I'm nineteen. What about you?"
Nothing. He said nothing.
And then — like a cliché scene from a drama — his phone rang, breaking the moment. He held up a hand as if to say, I need to take this, and I nodded stiffly.
First my father, now this guy?
Look, Aurelius, if you don't want this marriage — guess what?
Neither do I.
I need to finish college and chase my dreams. Not get dragged into this ridiculous arranged marriage like I'm a business deal.
I sat there quietly, waiting for him to finish his call. A few minutes later, he returned to the sofa and sat down.
Then, with the most annoyingly indifferent expression, he looked at me and asked,
"Who are you again?"
I felt my blood boil.
He's doing this on purpose. I'm sure of it.
Still, I kept my professional smile intact.
"Ah, it must be because of your very important phone call that you forgot the name of the girl you're marrying, huh? Well, let me repeat it — my name is Callista Evangeline Moreau. I'm nineteen. I was just forced into this arrangement, and if you're against it too, please, by all means, go convince my father to cancel this ridiculous engagement. Now tell me, who exactly is my fiancé again, hmm?"
I said it with sweet sarcasm, hoping it would get under his skin.
But no.
Instead, he smiled.
A smile that dripped sarcasm.
"Your fiancé's name is Aurelius Caelan Valemont. And I'm sorry, honey — but I won't be canceling this marriage~"
He said it in that infuriatingly deep, husky voice.
My eyebrow twitched.
What is with this guy?
I flinched when he suddenly stood up and moved toward me. He sat beside me, leaning in close — so close his warm breath brushed against my ear.
"I was the one who forced your father into this marriage."
His voice was low, dangerous, almost mocking.
"And darling~ no matter what you want, you can't escape your fate."
A shiver ran down my spine.
Who the hell is this guy? A psycho? A lunatic?
What kind of power does he have over my father to make something like this happen?
I caught a glimpse of a smirk on his lips as he slowly pulled away, returning to his seat like nothing happened.
My hands trembled slightly.
"Who are you… really?"
He didn't answer me.
Instead, he leaned forward once more, those deep blue eyes locking onto mine — cold, sharp, but with something else hidden beneath the surface. Something dangerous.
For a moment, it felt like the entire room faded away, like his gaze was pulling me into a place I wasn't supposed to be. I swallowed hard, my heartbeat pounding against my ribs.
Then, with the faintest smirk, he whispered,
"You'll find out soon enough, Callista."
His voice was low, teasing… cruel.
And just like that, he stood up, buttoned his suit jacket, and without sparing me another glance, walked toward the door.
But before leaving, he turned his head slightly — those piercing, ocean-deep blue eyes meeting mine one last time.
"And when you do… you'll wish you hadn't."
The door shut behind him.
And I realized I wasn't just trembling anymore —
I was terrified.
End of Chapter One.