The next day that followed felt like a strange, fragile dream for me. I woke up in the morning hoping the world would slow down, that the numbers floating above Hikari's head would freeze, or at least hesitate — but they never did. The countdown kept ticking. Unmoved. Uncaring.
But Hikari didn't seem to notice the weight of the world pressing down on me.
She lived her days the way she always had: small joys, little adventures, and an endless curiosity for life. She wasn't the kind of girl who needed grand moments to be happy — she found happiness in the ordinary. A cup of hot chocolate, walking through side streets after school, pausing to pet a stray cat on the sidewalk, or staring at the sunset like it was the first time she'd ever seen one.
I envied that part of her. The part that felt free.
Afternoon in class, the two of us found ourselves climbing the stairwell of the old school building during lunch break. The rooftop wasn't technically open to students, but it wasn't locked either. Hikari had always liked quiet places with wide open skies, and I also tend to go there to avoid people sometimes.
When we stepped out, the wind greeted us, cool and crisp. The sky stretched endlessly, the town below moving along like it always did — unaware, uncaring.
Hikari leaned against the fence, letting the breeze tug at her hair. "It feels nice up here," she said softly. "Like the world's a little less heavy."
I stood beside her, watching her as much as the view. The sun caught her eyes, making her icy blue eyes more beautiful. My throat tightened, my thoughts swirling with all the things I couldn't say.
And then, before I could stop myself, the question slipped out.
"Hikari," I began, my voice quieter than usual. "If you knew when you were going to die… what would you do?"
The words hung between us, delicate as glass.
Hikari blinked, surprised by the sudden weight of the question. She tilted her head slightly, her expression thoughtful rather than alarmed. The breeze played with the hem of her skirt as she gazed out over the city.
"Hmm." She let out a soft hum, lips curling into a faint, bittersweet smile. "I don't think I'd change much."
My heart clenched at her answer.
"I mean… people always think they'll do something huge if they knew their time was short, right? Climb a mountain, travel the world, confess some deep secret..." She paused, brushing her hair behind her ear. "But I think I'd just want to spend the time with the people I like. Doing the little things. Laughing. Walking home. Eating my favorite food. Listening to my favorite songs."
She turned to look at me, eyes shining clear and sincere. "I don't want to live differently just because the end is close. I want to live the same, so I won't have any regrets when it happens."
I swallowed hard, trying to keep my shaky voice steady. "That's... a nice way to see it."
"Why did you ask?" she tilted her head at me, curious but not pressing.
I hesitated, then gave a weak smile. "Just one of those thoughts that pop up, I guess."
Hikari nodded, accepting that answer with the same quiet grace she accepted everything. "Well, if you knew your time was short, what would you do?"
My heart thudded painfully in my chest.
**Love you. Spend every second with you. Tell you the truth. Save you if I could.**
But all I said was, "I'd probably stay right here."
We stood in silence after that. It wasn't awkward or heavy — just quiet, like the sky was holding the world still for a moment.
When the bell rang, Hikari stretched her arms above her head, flashing me her usual bright smile. "Let's come up here again sometime."
"Yeah," I whispered, "definitely."
---
Later that evening, I walked home alone, because Hikari decided to walk home with her best friend today. I was surprised she had a best friend. Her words echoed in my mind, looping over and over.
**"I don't want to live differently... so I won't have regrets."**
But I was already drowning in regret. Regret for knowing the truth. Regret for not telling her. And regret for falling in love with someone who would leave me too soon. After all she had 88 days left.
The countdown didn't stop.
The days were slipping away.
And I couldn't stop the world from moving forward.