The journey to the Holy Capital felt endless.
For seven days, Cassian remained locked away in his carriage, a prisoner of his own making. The world outside was a cacophony of sounds, smells, and sights, and all of it only reminded him of the curse he now carried—the curse of kindness. He had been a healer, a savior, someone who could never turn a blind eye to those in need. But he had learned the hard way that kindness could be a weapon, a tool that could destroy him if he wasn't careful.
As the carriage jolted along the uneven roads, Cassian's hands gripped the edges of his seat. The sound of the wheels grinding over the stones was maddening. He kept his eyes closed, his ears wrapped in cloth, trying to block out the world. He could feel the magic of the land humming beneath him, the pull of the cities, the pull of the people in need, begging him for help, for attention, for even a glance.
But he didn't look.
He couldn't.
He wouldn't.
Every time he heard the cries of children on the roadside, or the calls of merchants trying to sell their wares, he fought the urge to open the carriage door and step out. He wanted to help. He always wanted to help. But every time he did, he ended up hurting himself.
If he had learned anything over these last few months, it was that giving in to his heart's urges was dangerous. If he showed kindness here, in this world where people saw it as weakness, he would be destroyed. He would be used.
So, he stayed inside. Silent. Alone. His fingers drummed against his legs as he tried to distract himself from the thoughts swirling in his mind.
Don't look. Don't listen. Don't care. You can't. You can't.
It was all too much. The city of Averdis, where he had lived, had been small and simple. It was nothing compared to the vast expanse of this new world. But the Holy Capital? The City of Light? It felt like a world of its own. A place where everything was larger than life. Everything that had been part of Cassian's small world now seemed laughable.
When Marc had first mentioned they were approaching the capital, Cassian had forced himself not to look outside. He had no desire to see the wealth or the grandeur. He didn't want to see the stark difference between this world and his own. He didn't want to feel the growing pit in his stomach, the realization that he was just one more drop in an ocean of meaningless, broken people.
The carriage finally slowed to a halt.
Cassian could feel his heart begin to race. He didn't want to leave the safety of his small, dark space. But the door swung open, and the blinding sunlight pierced through the cracks.
"Well, here we are," Marc's voice broke through the thick silence, sounding almost… amused?
Cassian blinked slowly, his eyes adjusting to the sudden brightness. As he stepped out, he could hear the faint hum of magic in the air, something he had never felt before in his life. The world before him was like nothing he had ever seen.
The city before him stretched out endlessly, buildings soaring into the sky, so tall they looked like they could touch the clouds. Streets, wide and paved with polished white stones, were crowded with merchants and travelers. People in colorful robes, cloaks, and armor bustled past him, their faces filled with the kind of confidence Cassian had never known.
He looked around, his heart sinking with each passing moment. So this is the Holy Capital, he thought bitterly. Is this what the Church spends all its wealth on? Buildings like palaces, while people starve on the streets?
His thoughts turned dark. But I can't think like that. I'm just a healer. A nobody. I don't have the luxury of questioning things like this. I'm just here to do what they ask me to do.
Cassian squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, swallowing down the anger rising in his throat. Just keep your head down, Cassian. Don't think too much.
He took a deep breath and looked up, feeling small against the towering walls of the Church of Lumina. The church stood at the heart of the city like a colossal monument to the divine. Its walls were pristine white, glowing faintly with golden light, as if it were a beacon to the heavens. The cross at the very top of the cathedral gleamed like the sun itself, casting a golden glow over the entire city. The immense size of the building made him feel insignificant.
"Do you see that?" Marc asked with a low whistle, his voice tinged with awe. "That's the Church of Lumina. It's a bit much, don't you think?"
Cassian clenched his fists. He couldn't answer. What could he say? That the Church could have used its gold to feed the hungry, to house the poor? That it didn't need a building this tall, this… extravagant? He didn't dare. If he said a word against the Church, he might find himself executed before the day was out. He wasn't ignorant of the power they wielded.
Milan glanced at him, narrowing his eyes as if sensing the turmoil inside him. "You alright?"
Cassian nodded quickly, his lips tight. "Yeah. Just a bit… overwhelmed, that's all."
Marc slapped him on the back with a grin. "Well, don't get lost in the beauty. We're here to work, remember?"
Cassian's mouth tightened into a thin line. "Right."
As they approached the massive gates of the church, two guards stood on either side, their armor shining brightly in the sunlight. They didn't seem to notice the trio at first, but when they approached, one of them stepped forward and raised an eyebrow.
"You there," the guard said, his tone blunt but not unfriendly. "State your name and purpose."
Cassian swallowed hard. It was finally time. This was it.
He cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Cassian. I've come to report as ordered by Pope Marlin." He handed over the letter that had been given to him when he left Averdis.
The guard looked at the letter, scanning it quickly before handing it back with a nod. "You may proceed, Brother Cassian. The Church awaits you."
The gates creaked open, and Cassian walked past them, his heart pounding as he entered the vast, echoing halls of the Church. Every step felt heavier than the last.
Marc and Milan stopped just inside, offering him a brief nod of farewell. "Take care, Cassian," Marc said, his voice quiet. "Don't let them get to you."
"Good luck," Milan added, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
Cassian nodded, though he didn't trust his voice. He watched as they turned and walked back toward the gates. They had been his companions, his protectors, through this entire journey. And now, they were leaving him behind.
You're on your own now, he thought bitterly. Just like always.
As they disappeared from sight, Cassian took a deep breath and continued walking into the heart of the Church, feeling the weight of destiny pressing down on him.
-To be continued..
A/N:
This chapter dives deeper into Cassian's inner turmoil and the contrast between his humble beginnings and the grandeur of the Holy Capital. It shows his emotional isolation, his dissatisfaction with the Church's extravagant display, and his struggle to fit into this new, intimidating world.
Now let's see how he faces his next problems.