Lenore feels lighter after writing to her family and receiving their letters in response, filled with love, regrets, and hesitant hopes for the future. She wants to write back to them—to start a stream of communication—but the problem is she doesn't know herself.
They ask about her life in Barrowmere. About her life in her uncle's estate. What she likes and doesn't like.
However, she can't send that information when she's never thought about it herself. In Rowanhart, she wasn't allowed to have an identity. Not really. Her opinions were scorned, and her hobbies were limited to completing skilled work for Alina, such as embroidery and flower arranging. As for if she actually likes those activities, she can't say for sure.
She likes making her knitted flowers.
With a fresh piece of parchment, she starts her list of things she likes and things she doesn't like with knitting flowers at the top. Well, she can come back to the list as she thinks of more to write. Knowing that her family looks forward to hearing from her again makes her want to rush before this chance is taken from her, but she realizes that anxiety is baseless. Alaric agreed to let her write to her family as a term of their marriage. Plus, he doesn't strike her as the type to go back on his word.
Encouraged, Lenore pulls the cord attached to her bed to call a maid, and it doesn't take long for Mary to arrive. "Yes, my lady?"
"You've learned the layout of the estate, haven't you?"
Although she looks confused, Mary nods. "I have. I believe I can find my way as needed now."
"That's wonderful, Mary." Lenore finds the traveling boots she brought from Rowanhart, one of the few pieces of clothing she has from her uncle. Even if she only has them because Alina grew sick of their style. She pulls them on her feet, the worn leather comfortable from use. "I would like to do some exploring."
"Where would you like to go?" Mary asks.
Last time, she led Lenore around the halls to place her knitted flowers in the vases of the second floor, and finally in Alaric's study. Because of that, she hasn't seen much of the estate beyond the second floor and dining room. "To be honest, I'm not sure. I think that seeing the library would be good. And since I haven't stepped foot outside after arriving, I'd like to take a look around the property as well."
Mary hesitates for a moment. "My lady, I'll need to ask a knight to walk outside with us. I've been told that it's unlikely to be dangerous, but considering you're now a duchess and there's the matter of the blight, it's good to be cautious."
"I understand." Lenore pulls on an overcoat after a glance outside. It seems windy and dreary out, the kind of weather that leaves a chill deep in her bones. If she's being honest, she's relieved that she'll have a knight with her. After rarely being allowed outside, the openness is overwhelming. "Let's start with the library then. I'll pick out some books while you get a knight for our stroll outside."
It's a simple, but effective plan. Lenore is taken to the library—a room spanning several towering floors and has an ancient feeling with its dark wooden bookcases and sconces with flickering magic flames providing just enough light to be comfortable, but not too bright. She could spend days there without seeing everything it contained.
She brushes her fingertips over the worn leather covers of books carefully placed in their shelves. For once, it's okay that she doesn't have enough time to look through everything. This place is her home now. She can visit again and again—until the librarian gets sick of her, and even after that.
Is this what freedom feels like?
To begin, she asks the librarian to find her some basic books about Barrowmere's history and its previous duchesses. If she wants to support Alaric in this place, she needs to arm herself with knowledge. She's lacking—she knows that much. Even after taking classes alongside Alina, she doesn't know a lot about running an estate. It was always about etiquette, music, arts, and other skills.
Kalnen, a soft-spoken librarian, seems content to find books that meet her criteria, letting her know that they'll be sent to her room once he gathers them. After that, Lenore has some time that she spends wandering the area until Mary returns with a knight.
Finally getting to go outside is a strange feeling, and she wonders about the blight on the property. Before her arrival, she heard the same rumors about Barrowmere as everyone else. The sight of the land rejecting life is far heavier than the stories ever suggested.
A heavy sorrow settles in her chest, inexplicable. Painful. These gardens must have been beautiful once. Perhaps the estate would wake up to sunshine shimmering on dew drops dotting the velvet petals of flowers in bloom.
Lenore crouches by the edge of the garden path, touching the dry, brittle remnants of what might've been bushes in the past. "What do you think grew here?"
Mary crouches next to her and taps her chin as she thinks. "That's a difficult question, my lady. I'm not very knowledgeable when it comes to plants."
Then, the knight chimes in. "These were rose bushes once. Before the blight, Barrowmere was known for its roses. The land would produce rose oils for fragrances and cosmetics, and even dry rose petals to make scented pouches. That way, the people could carry a bit of summer with them during colder months."
An image flashes in Lenore's mind of endless rose bushes in bloom and gardeners happy to tend them. How nice it would be to see Barrowmere as it was back then—to smell the flowers and open her balcony doors to petals fluttering in the wind.
"I wish I could've seen it," Lenore says. "It sounds lovely."
As they continue through the garden paths, none of them notice the bud of a rose crawling out of the dirt where Lenore touched.