New Year's 1995/1996
The mood at Grimmauld Place had been cheery since the morning thanks to Sirius' efforts. He truly outdid himself with the celebrations of the upcoming New Year, giving everyone a party hat when he first saw them, singing cheery songs at any chance he got and pouring champagne and firewhisky to anyone who got in his way. To avoid scolding from Mrs Weasley for letting the underage wizards and witches drink, he poured only small portions of the drinks into coffee cups but was very generous when it came to adults so when the afternoon rolled around, every occupant of the house had at least a drop of alcohol in their blood and songs and cheers were heard from every corner.
Hermione wasn't used to drinking, she never really had a drop of real alcohol so she was glad when Lilith started switching her drink with pumpkin juice after her first two rounds. But what also concerned her a little bit was the fact that Lilith didn't seem at all affected by the amount of alcohol Sirius pumped into her throughout the day. Both of them probably consumed the most and yet, Lilith looked and acted much more sober than Sirius who already danced on the table and started levitating random things around the house for no reason. Lilith on the other hand was enjoying the mood in the household and was a bit more affectionate but not as much as Aveline who started hugging everyone she met and was clinging onto Lilith who supplied her with water at any chance she got.
When midnight neared, the boys joined Sirius in singing his timeless songs. It was not singing per se, more like shouting that ranged around the house and made Hermione laugh as she watched them. Her eyes travelled around the room and found Lilith who was already looking at her with a soft smile, Aveline was now asleep at the foot of her armchair. The younger witch looked at the clock on the wall. They had five minutes to midnight. Lilith seemed to understand because when their eyes met again, she moved her head slightly, signalling for the door.
Hermione faked a yawn and got up, not sparing a word to the boys who were already too gone to even notice her leaving and made her way upstairs to her room. Her girlfriend wasn't so far behind and entered the room just shortly after her, closing the door and leaning against it, smiling at her with that rare soft smile Hermione loved so much.
"You're a mind reader." Lilith shrugged.
"It seems we think alike." she moved closer and took Hermione's hand into hers. "You're not the only one who wants a New Year's kiss." Hermione smiled and looked at the ground.
"What it is?" Lilith asked.
"What?"
"Something is going on in that brilliant mind of yours, so what is it?" Hermione smiled even more. Maybe Lilith indeed was a mind reader.
"It's just... this year has been a whirlwind, especially for you." she paused and looked up at Lilith. She could see a glint of sadness in her eyes. "But I hope the next one will be better. Because even with everything going on, even when it seems that our world is getting darker every day, you make it brighter. You make me so happy, and I'm sorry that my jealousy almost ruined that." she could feel Lilith squeezing her hand gently. "So my New Year's resolution is not to jump to conclusions so quickly because, with you, it's always more complicated than it looks, and I trust your judgement." she looked Lilith in the eye. "I trust you." she whispered and Lilith smiled. They could hear the boys from downstairs counting, yelling the numbers on top of their lungs. As the numbers grew smaller, she leaned closer, resting her forehead against Lilith's, feeling her arms sneaking around her waist, as she took Lilith's face into her hands.
"Three." they heard.
"Two." she whispered.
"One." Lilith counted, and in the next second they could hear the boys howling and singing but to Hermione, only Lilith existed at that moment. Her soft hands around her body, her gentle smile.
"Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year, Mione." she whispered and leaned forward, joining their lips. Warmth spread through Hermione as she pulled her closer, tasting the firewhisky and coffee on her tongue as the scent of roses and cigarettes that was oh-so-intoxicating enveloped her. Without even realising it, she deepened the kiss, her left hand travelling from Lilith's cheek to her hip, going under her jumper and touching the soft skin underneath, making Lilith moan slightly into the kiss and leaning impossibly close. Hermione didn't want to stop, she wanted everything Lilith was willing to give her. She needed her as much as she needed water and oxygen.
Once again the mind reader, Lilith broke the kiss, her lips dancing just a few millimetres away from Hermione's as she leaned her forehead against hers. Hermione's eyes were still closed as she leaned against Lilith, continuing to rub soft circles on her hip.
"Do you want to...?" Hermione opened her eyes and looked at Lilith. She could see the hunger mixed with concern reflecting in her eyes. She understood the question immediately and blushed but nodded.
"I do."
"Are you sure? We don't have to..." Lilith's sounded sincere and Hermione thought it sweet but she shut her up with a quick peck on her lips.
"I am." her right thumb caressed Lilith's cheekbone. "I want you, Lili." she shivered as she felt Lilith's cold fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt. "But I've never..." she blushed and bit her lip. Lilith smiled gently and her left hand went to Hermione's cheek, stroking it slowly.
"That's alright." before she realised it, Lilith backed them towards her bed. The back of Hermione's knees hit the bedframe and she sat on the bed with Lilith standing in front of her. Her heart was racing as fast as the first time she kissed Lilith, maybe even faster as Lilith leaned down, her breath ghosting the shell of her ear. "Let me take care of you." It was simple, oh-so-simple. But at that moment when Lilith kissed her deeper than ever before, when her cold fingers tugged at the hem of her shirt, lifting it up, and when she gently pushed her down onto the bed, Hermione knew she was a goner. And she never wanted it to stop.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
January 1996
A cold breeze coming from the crack in the window woke her up. She could feel the soreness in her body and for a moment couldn't understand why she was so cold but when she looked down, she could feel the blood rushing into her cheeks as she realised she was completely naked and the only source of warmth was a blanket and another naked body curled up into hers. She couldn't help but smile as she looked at Lilith sleeping peacefully with her head tucked into her neck and her arms draped over her torso. She couldn't even remember when they fell asleep. She only remembered Lilith's lips and hands on her, mapping every inch of her body, bringing her to impossible heights.
She kissed Lilith's forehead softly before wriggling out of the embrace very carefully. She didn't want to wake her girlfriend so early on the first day of the New Year, so she tried to be as quiet as possible as she threw on some sweatpants laying nearby and Lilith's jumper, and made her way out of the room to the kitchen. She was so deep in thought, replaying everything that happened the previous night that the voice startled her.
"Good morning." she nearly jumped as she looked up and saw Aveline sitting behind the kitchen table with a mug in her hands and a sly smile on her lips. Ginny was sitting right next to her, also nursing a mug in her hands but for some reason she didn't look up to see her.
"Good morning." she replied and walked to the kitchen to prepare herself some tea and coffee for Lilith.
"It was a good New Year's, wasn't it?" Hermione chuckled.
"Well, Sirius certainly didn't hold back."
"Oh, I wasn't talking about that."
"Did anything else happen that I don't remember?" Hermione took the steaming kettle into her hand and started pouring the water into the mugs.
"Hermione, you do realise that our room is right next to yours, right? And the walls are very, very thin." Hermione froze with the kettle in mid-air. It took her a second to comprehend what Aveline said before putting it down, and swiftly turning around, horror written all over her face as Aveline watched her with a raised eyebrow. The tips of Ginny's ears were the same colour as her hair now.
"Oh, no"
"Oh yes." Aveline smirked and sipped from her mug and leaned back into her chair.
"But you were..."
"Mrs Weasley sent me upstairs when she saw me sleeping here. Ginny was already there and unfortunately, I came just in time to hear everything." Hermione paled. She knew they had forgotten something. Neither of them thought about casting Muffliato. "Needless to say, thank you. Ginny's now traumatised and I'm scarred for life." she shuddered and Hermione could feel her cheeks getting warmer by the second. Ginny finally looked up and Hermione felt the guilt rising up in her stomach. Up until that moment, Ginny didn't have any idea that something was going on.
"You could've told me, Hermione. I'd have kept it to myself. Do you know how awkward it was for Avy to explain everything while you…" Aveline jumped in.
"While you were right next door shagging my sister?"
"Avy!" Aveline ignored Ginny's scolding and leaned forward.
"But just between us, was it really that good or were you faking? You can tell me, you know."
"Aveline!" Hermione blushed furiously at the question.
"What? I'm just asking."
"You can't ask me that!"
"Why not?"
"Because that's mine and Lilith's privacy."
"Oh yes, Lilith, I believe I heard that name quite often during the night."
"Aveline!" Aveline laughed at Hermione's desperate whine. "Can you please not?"
"Sorry, you're just so easy to rile up." Hermione glared at her.
"You know, Lilith was right. You are a pain in the ass." Aveline grinned.
"Thanks." Hermione rolled her eyes and sighed. It was pointless to continue arguing with Aveline. Her attention turned back to Ginny.
"I'm really sorry, Gin. About everything, I should've told you before…" Ginny waved her hand and sipped her tea, the tips of her ears and her cheeks were still red.
"Don't worry, I won't tell."
"Thank you."
"That'd be a waste of a good blackmail material." Hermione blinked a couple of times while Aveline laughed at Ginny's remark, patting her shoulder in approval. Hermione just shook her head.
"You know what?" she took the mugs off the counter. "Goodbye." and without sparing either of them another glance, she made her way back into her room.
She made extra sure to close the door as quietly as possible but in the next moment, her efforts were pointless. Once she turned around to look at the bed, her body froze and the mugs slipped from her hands, shattering on the ground and waking Lilith up. But Hermione didn't care. Her eyes were fixated on Lilith's bare back now on full display in front of her, and the view alone sent shivers down her spine and made her blood run cold.
"Mione?" Lilith asked, her voice crooked and husky as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes but frowned as she noticed Hermione standing still, staring at her. "What's the matter?"
"What… what is that?" Hermione whispered, her eyes mapping Lilith's back but her girlfriend didn't seem to notice the direction in which she was looking.
"What is what?"
"Your back, Lili. What is that on your back?" Lilith's puzzlement change to horror in an instant. It seemed that Hermione's question finally made her realise that she was in fact naked and her body was exposed. She reached for a nearby jumper and put it on as quickly as she could but it was too late. Hermione has already seen it.
Scars of every shape and form - long and short, deep and shallow, prominent and almost invisible - covered almost every inch of Lilith's back, as if it was an expressionist painting done by a sadist. From her upper back and shoulders, across her torso and to her lower back, almost no skin that wasn't scarred was left. She didn't know how she didn't notice it the night before, maybe it was too dark or her mind was too preoccupied but now that she'd seen it, the image alone would probably be engraved in her mind forever.
Hermione grabbed Lilith's forearm, squeezing it gently as she sat down on the bed next to her but Lilith avoided her eyes. Hermione knew that if she'd take a wrong next step, Lilith would automatically shut down. She recognized it immediatelly by the way her shoulders straightened and jaw clenched. She knew she had to take a different approach.
"Do they hurt?" she asked softly, as if she was talking to an injured bird.
"W-What?" Lilith blinked in surprise, clearly taken aback by the question.
"Do they hurt? Harry says his scar sometimes hurts." Lilith was silent for a few moments, still looking down at her hands.
"Not like Potter's scar, no." she whispered and Hermione released animaginary breath she was holding. She got Lilith to react to her question. "They… pull a bit when it's cold." Hermione frowned.
"All of them at once?" Lilith nodded.
"But that must hurt, Lili." Lilith pursed her lips.
"Not really… the pull doesn't hurt per se… it's just pretty uncomfortable." Hermione was suddenly much more aware of the coldness in the room.
"Is that why you always wear jumpers?" Lilith nodded and but her lip, her eyes still on the blanket in front of her.
"It's helps, keeps it warmer." Everything made sense. Lilith's endless supply of jumpers, her long sleeve dresses she wore to Yule Ball, her occasional flinches when some touched her back.
"May I touch them?"
"What?" Hermione squeezed her arm gently.
"May I touch them? My hands are warm, I just want to help you a bit." Lilith seemed to consider it so Hermione waited patiently until she got an almost unnoticeable nod.
When her hand slipped slowly under the jumper and finally touched the cold, scarred flesh, she acted like she didn't notice Lilith almost purring at the contact. She was right, her warm hand travelling gently across the small craters and prominant lines seemed to relieve a bit of Lilith's strain because Hermione could feel her leaning more and more into the contact until her head leaned against Hermione's shoulder, snuggling into it.
Hermione loved this side of Lilith. The soft, vulnerable side that almost begged to be touched at all times. So with her free hand, she started to draw patters against Lilith's new tattoo, watching as the flowers slowly started to bloom. That meant her mood was improving so Hermione tried to push her luck once more.
"What happened, Lili?" she asked casually, making sure she didn't sound pushy. And to her surprise, it worked.
"I had an accident." Lilith whispered quietly, her eyes closed as she leaned more into Hermione's touch on her back.
"Just an accident?" this time, Lilith opened her eyes and stared right into Hermione's.
"Yes, just an accident." That was a lie. A blatant, poor, half-assed lie. Hermione knew that just by Lilith's tone. And if it wasn't just for it, the scars also told a different story. There was too many of them, all of them different from each other and too uneven to be caused by ,just an accident. But Hermione knew she already pushed her luck too much so she just hummed in acknowledgement and continued to run her fingers across the scars. It seemed to satisfy Lilith who once again closed her eyes.
"Does anyone know about them?" Lilith didn't answer for a few moments.
"Cedric knew." she paused and Hermione could hear the melancholy in her voice. "Fleur knows. And now you."
"No one else?" Lilith shook her head. So not even her siblings knew. This made Hermione wonder even more about the ,accident´.
"No. I hate showing them. They're hideous, right?" she sighed.
"They are not very pleasant to look at, no."
"Thank you."
"Let me finish." Hermione intertwined her fingers with Lilith's. "No, they are not very pleasant to look at but I love them nonetheless. Because they're part of you," she whispered and kissed Lilith's temple. "and I love you with or without the scars."
Lilith looked like she wanted to say something but a loud bang that rang around the room made them jump apart. Hermione was confused by what happened when she noticed a small house-elf she's never seen before inside the room.
"Squeaky?" Lilith croaked out, her voice still a bit emotional from what she was about to say earlier. So this was the famous Squeaky Hermione heard so much about. She looked a bit old but still energetic and youthfull. But at that moment, she looked scared and nervous.
"Miss Lili, you're needed at Cave Hill. There is a visitor waiting for Miss Lili and it's urgent." Lilith sighed.
"A visitor or THE visitor?" she asked and rubbed her eyes.
"THE visitor, Miss Lili." Lilith groaned, leaned over and opened a nighstand, pulling out a small sack of coins.
"Alright, I'm coming. Here Squeaky," she tossed the sack to the elf who caught it. "You're ordered not to return to Cave Hill for another hour so go buy yourself something nice. Maybe a scarf or a hat, you must be freezing."
"Squeaky didn't have time to change, Miss Lili. The visitor was…"
"I know, Squeaky, I know. Just go, and enjoy." Squeaky beamed at her and Hermione's heart melted a little.
"Thank you, Miss Lili!" And with that, Squeaky was gone. Lilith immediatelly stood up from the bed and went to her trunk, pulling out some pants, a shirt and a vest.
"Do you really have to go?" Hermione asked as she watched Lilith change, still eyeing the horrifying scars on her back.
"When Squeaky says it's urgent, it means I should've been there twenty minutes ago." Lilith sighed as she buttoned up the rest of her vest and used her wand to iron any creases.
"Do I need to ask who the visitor is?" Lilith look told her everything she needed to know. She sighed and got up from the bed.
"Alright. Can you at least repare those mugs I broke before you go? I don't want to pick up all those pieces by hand." Lilith gave her a small smile and waved her wand. Both broken mugs that were previously in pieces on the floor put themselves together and stood side by side on the nightstand.
"Thank you," Hermione smiled and gave Lilith a small peck on the lips. "And good luck."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
She was building her mental walls higher than before, pushing all her emotions away into tiny boxes that she barricaded with everything she had. There was no time for mistakes or slip ups as she apparated in front of her mansion. When she was done and her mind was secured at least ten times, she walked in.
Squeaky was right, he was already waiting for her, making himself comfortable in one of the armchairs in front of the fireplace, a large snake swirling around his legs. Nagini.
Lilith forced herself to remain calm as she walked inside and without sparing Voldemort a glance, she poured herself a glass of whisky.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" she asked and took a sip of the whisky, calming her nerves before she turned around and her eyes met his scarlet orbs.
"Out so early, Lady Farrow?" she felt the shivers running down her spine at the sound of his voice but put on her unbothered mask.
"Goblins tend to look differently at those who work at strange hours." she shrugged, dodging the question. Voldemort's eyes bore into her and his snake dangerously hissed.
"You must excuse Nagini, she feels my agitation." Lilith raised her eyebrow and took another sip. For some reason, she felt her tongue growing heavier.
"Agitation?"
"Ah yes. We had an agreement, did we not Lady Farrow?" Lilith knew immediately why he visited. She hope her mental walls and occlumency were enough because she was about to stick her neck out for Daphne.
"As far as I know we still have an agreement."
"Do you take me for a fool?"
"Of course not."
"Then perhaps you could repeat the sounding of the agreement to assure me you didn't forget." Lilith took another sip of her whisky and ignored the uneasy feeling that his presence always carried with it.
"The agreement states that in exchange for leaving my bussiness and my family alone, I'll overlook any overstep of the old law by your followers and associates, and won't carry out the sentences."
"Precisely." his scarlet orbs bored into her. "Then explain Theodosius Greengrass, Lady Farrow."
"I beg your pardon?" Lilith acted surprised, she had to, she couldn't let her mask slip up.
"Theodosius Greengrass, my assosicate at the Ministry." Lilith look down into her glass.
"I've read about his suicide, a pity, yes. But I can assure you, I've had nothing to do with it." she felt him probing at her mental walls, accompanied by an unfamiliar piercing headache that cut through her skull. It took everything in her to push the fabricated memories onto the surface.
"Of course you didn't." he hissed and stroked Nagini's head. He stood up, his eyes watching Lilith's every move. Her tongue felt like it weighted thousand pounds and her arms started to feel heavy. What was happening?
"Do you know why your family interest me so much, Lady Farrow?" he asked as he stalked closer to her. "You always manage to peak my curiosity. For example," his bony finger came under her chin, pulling it up to his eye level. "You say one thing, your memories confirm it, but their undertone tells me another." his sharp nail stroked her jaw for a moment before releasing it.
Lilith realise that the feelings inside of her weren't just feelings. Her tongue was heavy and so were her arms and now legs. Something was really happening.
The dark wizard looked at Lilith, his snake obediently crawling around his legs.
"You broke our agreement, Lady Farrow. I expected more from you." he paused. "Next time, I won't give you as much time as I did now." And with that, he vanished into thin air.
With him gone, Lilith finally released a loud groan and fell to her knees. The headache was now overwhelming and her body felt like it was madw out of lead. What did he say? ,Next time, I won't give you as much time as I did now.' Lilith looked down into her glass of whisky. The colour was a bit off. She decided to smell it. Once the smell reached her nose, her eyes widened and her other hand quickly reached for a wand. Nightshade.
"Accio bezoar." she choked out and focused on a cupboard in the kitchen. It a few moment, a small rock-like thing flew to her hand and Lilith swallowed it without thinking twice, falling onto the floor, breathing heavily.
She cursed herself. She should've been more careful. Now she was on the other end of Voldemort's retaliation.