He's always been watching me... but I want him to touch me.
Liana
The air smelled like grass, leather, and sun.
I hadn't been around horses in years, but the scent was so familiar, it made my shoulders drop.
Like my body remembered how to breathe again.
"This one's Starling," Elias said, gently patting the side of a tall chestnut gelding.
"He's calm. Follows basic commands. You okay with him?"
I nodded.
"Yeah," I said. "He reminds me of the one I used to work with during therapy."
Elias gave me a small smile. "Thought so."
Starling flicked his ears as I stepped closer.
I placed a hand on his neck.
He was warm. Solid. Alive.
My fingers ran through the short hair of his mane like it was muscle memory.
"Still got the touch," Elias said.
I smiled without meaning to. "Only if he does all the work."
He chuckled. "That's the kind of riding I like. Low risk of being thrown off."
I turned to him. "You've ridden before?"
"A few times. But don't expect anything fancy. I don't bounce like I used to."
I knew he was turning thirty.
Sure, he didn't look like thirty.
He's ten years older than me.
Luca, one of his teammates, used to joke that I should call Elias "uncle."
He said it casually, but something about the way he stood—solid, steady, always scanning the area—made me think he could still take down five guys barehanded if he had to.
Then I looked up at the saddle.
It was a lot higher than I remembered.
Maybe because I was small.
Or maybe because I hadn't done this in too long.
I hesitated.
Elias noticed. "Want help?"
"...Yes, please."
He moved closer.
His hand slid gently around my waist.
Just enough to lift. Just enough to guide.
His fingers rested on my hipbone for just a second—but it felt like an electric current ran straight through me.
I caught my breath.
My skin buzzed.
What was that?
Then he lifted me. Effortless.
Like I weighed nothing.
I landed in the saddle, heart racing for all the wrong reasons.
He adjusted the stirrups, checked the reins, then looked up at me.
"Good?"
"Yes," I said, a little too fast.
He nodded, then led Starling out toward the trail.
We walked slowly, side by side.
Elias held the lead rope.
I let Starling follow him without needing to steer.
The trees swayed gently above us.
The sun filtered through the leaves in patches.
It felt like something out of a memory that wasn't mine.
Something peaceful. Like it belonged to another life.
"You're quiet," he said after a while.
"I like it here," I replied. "It's... nice."
He nodded. "Yeah. Figured you'd like it."
I looked at him. "Thanks for bringing me."
He glanced back at me, a slight grin pulling at one corner of his mouth.
"You're welcome, my little princess."
We kept going, Starling's hooves crunching over dirt and fallen leaves.
At one point, Elias paused to adjust the saddle strap.
I leaned down without thinking, and for a second, our faces were just inches apart.
Too close.
He looked up at the same time I looked down.
Our breaths mingled for a second.
My lips could've brushed his cheek if I leaned forward just a little more.
My breath caught.
Then—he stepped back.
Professional. Calm. Like nothing had happened.
"Strap's fine," he said.
He didn't say more.
Didn't smile.
Didn't joke.
Just moved on.
I was disappointed.
I didn't know why.
I sat back in the saddle, suddenly feeling stupid.
Like I'd imagined the tension.
Like maybe it was all in my head.
I didn't know what I wanted.
But I knew I didn't want him to pull away.
He glanced at me then, eyes narrowing just slightly.
Like he'd caught something in my expression that I hadn't meant to show.
"You wanna try a trot?" he asked, nodding toward the trail ahead.
"Let him run a little?"
I blinked. "Run?"
"Well, more like jog," he said. "Starling's trained. He won't go fast."
I hesitated.
I'd never ridden at anything above a slow walk.
Back in therapy, everything was slow. Gentle. Safe.
But it sounded fun… I kind of wanted to try.
"I guess," I said, trying not to sound too eager.
I figured my eyes were sparkling. Not that I intended them to.
Elias gave me a look that almost counted as a grin.
Then, in one smooth motion, he swung himself up onto the horse behind me.
I nearly jumped. "You're—what—?"
"Relax," he said. "I'll steer. You just hang on."
And before I could think of a reason to stop him, Starling started to move.
The rhythm shifted.
The world blurred just a little.
I grabbed the horn of the saddle with both hands and laughed before I could help it.
The wind touched my face.
My heart thudded, not from fear this time—but from something lighter.
Something like freedom.
For a few seconds, I forgot everything else.
The silence. The sadness. The way he'd stepped back.
All I could feel was the warmth of the sun, the movement beneath me, and the steady presence of Elias just behind me—close enough to guide, but not overwhelm.
It was the closest we'd ever been since the day he saved me.
I liked the way he had his arms around me.
It made me feel warm and safe.
And his body touched mine just a little as the horse trotted.
It was… exhilarating.
By the time we looped back toward the barn, I'd memorized the way his shoulders moved when he walked.
The way he adjusted his sleeves every few minutes.
The way he always looked back—not at me, but at everything.
As if danger could come from anywhere.
As if protecting me was just instinct.
He helped me down from the horse, careful not to touch me more than necessary.
It was weird.
I'd never noticed it before today.
And again, I felt it. That buzz under my skin.
I wanted him to grab my hand.
I wanted him to steady me a second longer.
I didn't know why.
But he stepped back and gave me space.
"Nice ride," he said.
"Yes," I smiled at him.
Or at least I hoped I did. "Thank you for bringing me here."