We finally arrived at the park playground.
Ah yes... the memories...
We three used to run around these parts, shouting and laughing like idiots. Well, to be precise... Yukito's memories.
Still, even though it wasn't truly mine, the feeling of nostalgia that washed over me was unmistakable.
It was as if the wind itself carried the echoes of our past selves, laughing in the distance.
The same warmth... the same bittersweet ache... it stirred inside me just as it would have stirred inside him.
"Uh, hey Miyuki..." I scratched the back of my head awkwardly, feeling the weight of the moment. "You know... we really shouldn't have left without telling Kichiro..."
She stopped dead in her tracks, whipping her head toward me with a sharp look of irritation, her brows knitting together.
"Look, I don't know what's up with you," she snapped, her voice tight with frustration.
"Okay, maybe I was harsh... but you've been avoiding us now! That's not your usual thing!
You'd usually just act like nothing happened after I rejected you... you'd still hang around like an idiot— I mean, like usual...!"
She huffed and crossed her arms. "Look, we're still friends, but could you just—"
Ah... this girl, yapping about her usual drama with Yukito.
I've seen this scene a dozen times already...
Throughout the manga, my boy Yukito would only look at her with that soft, stupidly loving gaze while she spoke, even when she was tearing him apart without knowing it.
She's a beauty, I admit it.
I love her — I'll admit that too.
I want her — I'm man enough to admit that as well.
But looking at the crumbling future that awaited me if I kept walking the path Yukito once did...
I saw it clearly — I'd end up just like all those tragic third-rate mobs or villains in every damn story.
Forgotten.
Broke.
Unwanted.
Homeless.
A ghost clinging to a one-sided love story.
Although I finished reading the manga... it ended so abruptly it pissed me off.
Miyuki and Kichiro finally got together, smiling and kissing under the moonlight, looking like a damn picture-perfect fairytale ending.
And Yukito?
Yukito never stopped loving her.
Even till the end.
They never even showed how he died, but it wasn't hard to figure out.
The last chapter just showed a bouquet of red roses lying on the ground, petals soaking up a pool of blood.
And nearby... a strand of hair unmistakably like Yukito's.
A final, silent goodbye.
Bullshit, if you ask me.
It felt short. Empty. Like someone punched me in the gut and left me there.
"Hey...!"
A sharp yank on my ear snapped me out of my thoughts.
"Ow—OW—!! I'M SORRY—!! It hurts—!!" I cried, trying to pry her hand away.
She finally let go with a dramatic sigh.
"Were you even listening to a single word I said?" she asked, arms folded, tapping her foot impatiently.
I gave a nervous laugh, rubbing my sore ear, as a single drop of sweat rolled down my forehead.
"Let's just sit and talk..." she said in a tone that brooked no argument.
"And this time listen."
Something about her voice made me sit down obediently next to her at the old, creaking swing set without a word, like a scolded puppy.
This swing...
Yukito used to fall off it on purpose just to make Miyuki run to him, worried and fussing over him.
Ah... memories, indeed.
"Yukito-kun..."
Her voice was soft, almost nostalgic.
"Remember? We used to play a lot around here... You always lost to Kichiro whenever we played games, hehe~"
I chuckled, leaning back slightly and glancing up at the cloudy sky.
"Whatt~? I remember playing way better than him though?"
"No waaay~" she teased, poking her finger into my arm.
"You even cried every time you lost! And Kichiro would just let you win on purpose 'cause he felt bad!"
I grinned, a mischievous glint flashing in my eyes.
"Hey, at least I didn't pee myself going down the slide, unlike someone I know~"
Her face turned beet red as she punched me playfully on the shoulder, pouting adorably.
"Hey!! I told you never to bring that up again... ugh... you're the worst..."
I laughed wholeheartedly, a real, raw laugh that felt like it came from somewhere deep inside me.
For a moment, it felt so genuine that even Miyuki looked at me, wide-eyed and surprised...
Then, she burst out laughing with me, her voice ringing through the air like the sound of bells.
An angelic laugh.
The kind of laugh that could make any guy fall head over heels.
And maybe, just maybe...
It made me forget, for just a second, what I had to do.
The laughter eventually died down, leaving behind only the faint creaking of the swings and the rustle of the wind through the trees.
The moment felt too fragile to break.
But I knew... if I didn't say it now, I never would.
I shifted a little, kicking at the dirt with my shoe, feeling the weight inside my chest growing heavier by the second.
"Remember when we used to race up the slide?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood again, though I could feel the tension creeping in.
Miyuki raised an eyebrow, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "Race up the slide? You mean when you always tripped halfway and fell flat on your face?"
"Hey, it was a strategy!" I grinned, "The fall was just to throw you off guard so I could win the next round."
She laughed, a soft, warm sound that made my heart ache a little. "I don't think it worked like that. Kichiro always ended up winning, though. I swear he had some kind of magic when it came to these games."
I chuckled, shaking my head. "Yeah, magic... or maybe just skill. You always sided with him, though. I never stood a chance."
"I didn't side with him!" she protested, her voice light but defensive. "You were just always so stubborn. Even when you lost, you'd act like you were the winner."
I tilted my head, a smirk creeping across my face. "What can I say? A guy's gotta keep his pride intact."
She rolled her eyes, but her smile never wavered. It was familiar, comforting.
But then... silence.
The playfulness faded as I stared at the ground, the words I'd been holding back finally rising to the surface. Miyuki seemed to sense it too, her expression turning more serious as she tried shifting closer beside me.
The playfulness faded as I stared at the ground, the words I'd been holding back finally rising to the surface. Miyuki seemed to sense it too, her expression turning more serious as she shifted beside me.
"Yukito..." Her voice was softer now, more cautious. "What's been going on with you lately?"
I looked up at the sky, my thoughts racing.
"Miyuki..." I said quietly, my voice almost swallowed by the breeze.
She tilted her head, giving me that usual bright-eyed look — the one that could tear a guy apart without her even knowing it.
"Can I ask you something?"
She blinked. "Of course... What's wrong?"
I hesitated, feeling the words stick in my throat.
"You ever think," I said slowly, "that maybe... some people aren't meant to keep chasing the things they love?"
Miyuki frowned slightly, confused. "What do you mean?"
I forced a smile, but it felt weak even to me.
"I mean..." I looked down at my hands, clenching and unclenching them, "that sometimes, no matter how much you care... no matter how much you try... it doesn't change anything. You're still just... standing there. Waiting. Getting left behind."
Miyuki shifted uncomfortably, her playful attitude gone, replaced by something more serious.
"Y-Yukito-Kun.." she said, almost a whisper. "Did... did I do something wrong?"
Her voice cracked a little at the edges.
Guilt twisted in my gut like a knife.
The hell do you mean!? Isn't this what you wanted!?
But..
I shook my head firmly.
"No," I said, cutting her off before she could speak further. "You did nothing wrong."
I finally lifted my gaze to meet hers, forcing her to see the truth in my eyes.
"You were just being you."
The words hung in the air between us, heavy and aching.
She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, apologize maybe, but I raised a hand to stop her.
"I don't want an apology," I said, voice low. "I don't want anything like that."
I leaned back on the swing, my hands gripping the cold chains, my head tipping back to stare up at the cloudy night sky.
"You know..." I began, my voice quiet but steady, "there's only so long you can hold onto hope before it rots in your hands."
Miyuki stayed silent, her hands curling into fists in her lap.
"I realized... loving you wasn't wrong," I said, my throat tightening. "But waiting for you to love me back... that was the mistake."
The stars barely peeked out behind the clouds, faint and flickering like dying embers.
"And at this point..." I murmured, more to myself than to her, "I learned one thing."
I exhaled, the words feeling like glass scraping out of my chest.
"I don't want to wish anymore. Wishing just makes you hope for things that'll never happen. It makes you have higher expectations... and when reality hits, it hurts way more."
I closed my eyes briefly.
"It's much easier to live without high expectations," I said, my voice soft but firm. "Especially... when it comes to your love."
The words slipped into the night air, raw and unfiltered.
"I'm tired, Miyuki," I admitted, the words finally slipped free. "I'm tired of pretending like I'm okay. Tired of pretending like the cracks in my heart don't hurt every time I see you looking at someone else the way I wished you'd look at me."
A small, broken laugh escaped me, more sad than anything.
"So I'm letting go," I said, my voice barely more than a breath. "I'm finally giving up."
The wind picked up, carrying my words into the night like a prayer no one would answer.
Miyuki sat frozen, her mouth trembling like she wanted to say something, anything but of course no words came.
And what Yukito thinks..
for once... I didn't need her to.
I closed my eyes, feeling strangely light, as if the weight I'd been carrying for so long had finally slipped off my shoulders.
Even if it left me hollow.
"I'll still care about you," I said, almost smiling. "Maybe I always will, and will always be friends with you."
I stood up slowly, my hands stuffed deep into my pockets, and looked down at her one last time.
"But this time... I'm choosing myself."
Without waiting for a response, I turned and started walking away, each step feeling heavier than the last — but also freer, somehow.
And behind me, the old swing creaked in the night wind, singing a bittersweet lullaby for the boy who finally let go.
Shadow-sama... is this really enough?
Am I finally taking that first step to becoming a mob?
I walked away, exaggerating each step like a cartoon character, a single tear rolling down my cheek as I forced a smile — triumph, or so I told myself.
It was a bit overdramatic, but damn... it still hurt.
I couldn't resist one last glance at her, and there she was... crying.
Wait... crying!?
What!? Wasn't this what she wanted all along?
And then... the realization hit me, sudden and sharp.
Ah, I see now! She's crying because she lost something she had — someone who actually paid attention to her, who gave her his time and dedication.
Hah! Take that, you foul creature of the night!
...
Okay, I should really stop now...
Honestly, though, I was exhausted. This whole love mess was taking a toll. I just wanted to go home and sleep. And forget this mess.
What a hassle..