I am guilty of the death of my friend, the love of my life!
If only I had been watching my surroundings! She would not have had to save me, and she would have stayed alive.
At first, she fell into a coma, and I prayed to any god or goddess that she would be okay. But it was all in vain. One day, her heart just stopped beating, and my love died, never waking up from her coma.
When she died, I don't know how many days I cried, but for a very long time, I didn't eat or drink, but just locked myself in a room and cried, all the time, until I had no tears left.
And that's when thoughts of suicide began to visit me. But I quickly drove them away. Miyabi despised people who killed themselves. She always said that killing yourself is just the easiest way. She said that there is always a choice, and these people are just spineless weaklings, because they chose death instead of life.
I wonder if she would call me a spineless weakling if she knew that I started having such thoughts?
Perhaps…
Today was the day of her wake, which was held by her parents.
And only her parents and mine were present. As always at such terrible events, we were all dressed completely in black. I sat at the table, and I wanted to cry, too much. But I couldn't, and I had no tears. I cried it all out.
"Christina, darling…" - said Miyabi's mother when she came up to me, I didn't answer, and she just hugged me.
"I know that it's hard for you, but you have to live a normal life!" - she said, and again I didn't answer, I was afraid that if I said anything my voice would shake, and I wouldn't be able to stand it.
"Kristina, Anya is right, She wouldn't want you to kill yourself!" said my Mom, who also came up and hugged me, and again I just kept quiet.
I wanted to say that I would be okay, that I would be able to move on, I wanted to assure them of that. But it was a lie! I can't! Not without her! If she's gone, then what's the point of living? The one I loved, I'll never see her again! And I'm the reason for her death!
I'm a terrible person! I knew that she had been in love with me for a long time, I knew that she was a lesbian, I've known for a long time! But I couldn't return her feelings, even though I'm a lesbian myself! I was afraid of public opinion, that we would be branded abnormal, that we preferred our own gender!
But only now, I realized! I don't give a shit about other people, I don't care about the opinion of some bastards who reject these very relationships! Like, God created a man and a woman, and only such relationships can exist! Let this god go to hell if he exists! I don't believe in this god!
"Well, well, maybe he doesn't exist, but gods and goddesses are real!" - an unfamiliar voice rang out, and I turned in his direction, where I saw a blonde woman sitting on a chair.
"Who are you?" - my mother asked, staring at the uninvited guest.
"Me? Well, for you, I'm some kind of angel or even a goddess!"
"And you think we'll believe you?" - Miyabi's father barked.
"Why don't you! But I can prove it!" the girl said and 6 pairs of crystal white wings appeared from her back.
We all immediately stared at her.
"Do you believe me now?" - she asked.
We were all silent until I finally spoke.
"Can you bring her back… can you bring Miyabi back?" I asked with a trembling voice.
"No!" she replied and my hopes were dashed again.
"But, I can send you to her!" she said and I immediately latched onto these words, but my mother intervened.
"What, do you mean? Do you want to kill Christina?" my mother asked.
"What are you saying, no!"
"Then what do you mean, send her to Miyabi?" Miyabi's mother asked this question.
"Well, no matter how strange it may sound, but Miyabi is alive! I will not tell you the full story of how and why, but I will simply say that what you buried was only a vessel for the soul, like all your bodies! And the souls themselves are immortal, and they are almost impossible to kill! And I gave Miyabi a choice to go to heaven, which my wife and I created, where only women are allowed, or to go to a new world, with the ability to travel to other worlds! Well, she gave up her appearance and now, she looks different, but she is still the same Miyabi." - she finished.
And before anyone spoke, I stood up from my seat and looked at this goddess.
"Send me to her!"
"Christina!?" - Mom screamed.
I looked at her.
"Mom, I need her, I know that I'm selfish for not thinking about your feelings. But... I can't, I've had suicidal thoughts many times, and I'm afraid that one day, it might happen, and I know if it happens, Miyabi will despise me, so..."
I couldn't finish speaking, because Mom and Dad came up to me and hugged me.
"I understand... but promise that you'll come back with her!" Mom said
"Yes, we'll wait." Dad said.
Then Miyabi's mom hugged me and said.
"Bring my girl home, and come back yourself," she said looking into my eyes, to which I simply nodded softly.
I looked at the goddess again.
"I'm ready." She nodded and snapped her fingers, we found ourselves in a completely different place, where there was nothing.
"I will send you to the same world as her, and I will also give you power! And like her, I will give you one wish! So think about what you want!" she said, and immediately thought about the wish.
"Knowing Miyabi, and her preferences… I want to look like Yae Sakura!" I said.
Miyabi had two favorite characters from games. In first place was her fox-wife Hoshimi Miyabi, and in second place was her fox-wife Yae Sakura. And I am one hundred percent sure, she wanted to look like Hoshimi Miyabi, which means I will be Yae Sakura. She will immediately fall in love with me, plus when she finds out that it is me, she will be shocked.
"I knew that you would choose this, and now…" the goddess said and a portal opened in front of me.
"Enter this portal and you will find yourself in another world and with a different appearance." she said.
"Thank you for everything!" I said, bowing and simply dove into the portal.
I don't know how long it took, but my surroundings changed, and apparently I was in the center of some temple, and in front of me was a large sakura tree with a fox carved on it.
"Ara-ara, do we have an unfamiliar guest?" I heard a seductive voice behind me.
I turned around and saw a beautiful girl in a priestess outfit.
"Er… nice to meet you, my name is Yae Sakura!" I said, bowing. I decided to use this name since it sounded nice.
"Very interesting… My name is Yae Miko, I am the head priestess here. So tell me Sakura, why do you look so much like me!"
Oh, shit! I knew about the connection in the games, but... I didn't play this particular game...
"Honestly, I don't know..."- I answered, because I didn't know what to answer.
"Ara-ara, you're lying little fox."- she said
"But, I won't interrogate you yet, if you don't have any evil intentions!"- she said.
"What are you saying, no, I don't want to hurt you!"- to which she simply nodded
"Okay, do you want to drink tea with me and talk?"- she asked, to which I nodded and she entered the temple, and I followed her.
And of course, on my side I felt weapons, namely two katanas. Also on the top of my head, there were two fox ears, although they looked very similar to hare ears, but they were definitely fox ears.
Looking at the sakura tree again.
"Miyabi… No matter what… I will find you!"