ELI
Breakfast was the longest thirty minutes of my life. I sat there, staring at the barely touched food on my plate while every clink of cutlery made my nerves crawl. My head was pounding, but not from the alcohol. No. It was the silence. It was the weight of Damir's unrelenting stare drilling into the side of my face like he was trying to read me with his eyes alone. I couldn't even glance at him without my heart shattering into a thousand pieces.
Lian was seated beside me, unusually quiet. He tried to offer me toast at some point, brushing it off with a small smile. Adam, across the table, had that same guilty look he's had since morning. I didn't want to look at him. I couldn't. Every time our eyes met, I felt like my stomach twisted into knots. I kept shifting my gaze elsewhere, hoping to God Damir wouldn't say anything. Just let us eat in peace, please.
But Damir didn't do peace. He did precision, control, awareness and he was very aware something wasn't right.
"You're awfully quiet this morning," he finally said, voice low and sharp. It wasn't a question. It was an accusation cloaked in velvet.
I flinched.
Lian's hand found mine under the table and gave it a little squeeze. Adam just kept his head down. My throat burned. I couldn't speak. I just gave a weak smile and nodded. "I'm fine."
Damir's fork dropped onto his plate with a soft clang. He leaned forward, hands clasped under his chin. "Are you?"
I bit my lip hard. My eyes stung.
"Yes," I whispered.
"Eli," he warned, and I knew. I knew that tone. He wasn't going to let it go. Not this time.
I couldn't hold it in anymore. Everything I was bottling since I opened my eyes exploded like glass shattering inside my chest.
"No, I'm not!" I burst out, voice cracking as the first sob escaped me. "I'm not okay, Damir. I…can we please talk…..in private?"
The room fell into stunned silence.
Damir stood up slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. His face gave nothing away. He grabbed his cloak from the chair and flung it over his shoulder with a quick motion. "When I return," he said coldly, "I don't want to see either of your friends in this house."
And just like that, he walked out. The front door slammed harder than it should have.
I was still sobbing.
Lian didn't hesitate. He rushed around the table and pulled me into his arms. "Hey, hey, don't cry like that. He's just… he's just mad, but he'll calm down."
I cried harder.
"I messed everything up," I choked. "Why does this always happen when I start trusting people? I just wanted to have friends. I didn't ask for….."
"You didn't ask for Adam to kiss you," Lian finished for me, softly.
And then, like a damn storm that just refused to stop ruining my peace, Adam finally opened his mouth.
"I didn't mean it like that," he muttered, stepping closer. "Eli, I just…I like you. I thought maybe you liked me too. I know he's older and rich and protective, but…"
SLAP.
I didn't even realize my hand moved until I saw the red mark blooming on Adam's cheek.
A second later, Lian's palm followed mine.
SLAP.
Adam stumbled back, eyes wide in shock.
"What is it with Asians and slapping like it's a reflex?" He blurted out in pain.
"You're disgusting," I said through gritted teeth, tears still pouring. "You knew I was drunk and you took advantage of it, and now you're talking trash about someone who's done nothing but protect me?"
Lian stepped in front of me. "You're not a friend. You're just another bastard trying to tear him apart."
"Get out," I breathed. "Both of you. I can't….i just can't do this right now."
Lian opened his mouth, but I shook my head. "Please."
Without another word, he grabbed Adam's sleeve and dragged him out. I didn't even hear the front door close. I was already halfway up the stairs, the tears falling like rain.
I locked myself in my room. Collapsed on the bed. Screamed into the pillow. I couldn't stop crying. My heart hurt like it had been stabbed and twisted. Why did things always fall apart like this? Every single time I let people in, they ruin everything.
Damir's face flashed through my mind, the pain behind his sternness, the way he looked at me before he walked out. God. I'd give anything to undo last night. Anything.
"Why does shit like this happen," I sobbed, curling into a ball, "whenever I try to be happy?"
I didn't get an answer. Just the silence of the room, the ache in my chest, and the mess I couldn't clean up.