The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving."
— Elizabeth Gilbert
Chapter 55
I woke up the following day with more purpose than I'd had in all the years I'd been in Boston.
I was finally leaving. I wasn't running away blindly to Mississippi, or leaving for a life of uncertainty in india.
The man of my dreams, the true love of my life, was taking me far, far away from all my troubles, to start a whole new life.
I still had no idea what he planned to do with the life he had started for himself in Boston, most especially as it concerned his father's hospital, but I was confident that whatever he was planning was the very best option there could be for us.
And that gave me all the confidence I needed.
Speaking with him early that morning, we decided it would be best for me to use the desolate back gate as my escape route that night, especially as I was now confined to the compound.
Unlike in the past when I could have sauntered out of the premises under false pretences, this time it had to be a more tactical move. Using the back gate might not have been the best of options, but considering all we had, it was the best one.
We'd also agreed that I didn't need to bring along any bags. The less attention I drew, the better for me.
I wasn't able to speak with Jacobi later in the day, but I spent my time preparing. I opted to wear a pair of trousers in case there was any need to jump over the fence, in the event that the lock of the gate had been fixed. I also keyed in the phone numbers of my brother into my new phone, from the old notebook I'd written them in years before, so I could contact him the minute I was safe somewhere.
Looking around the room, I felt no remorse that it would be the last time I would sit there, in the place that had been my sanctuary for so many years. It was finally over. And I was soon going to be free.
At exactly 10 o'clock, I waited patiently for Jacobi's call.
That was the time we were supposed to meet at the back of the house. It was late enough for most of the ranch to be asleep, but still early enough for us to leave town. When no call came from him, I proceeded to dial his number.
My stomach crashed to my feet when I heard the dreaded recorded message.
The number you have dialed is switched off.
No. It had to be a bad joke.
I dialed and redialed his number several times; 5, 12, 23,65 times.
But each time, the unbecoming voice repeated the same message. Undeterred, I slung my small handbag over my shoulder, and, with my phone in my hand in case he finally did call, left my room.
As I made my way downstairs, I tried to be as quiet as I could, but my nerves made my steps that much quicker than they ordinarily should have been.
Getting to the gate, I was relieved to see the bad padlock still carelessly lobbed across the gate and gently opened it so as not to attract any attention. Upon getting outside, there was nobody there. By this time, it was almost 11pm.
I dialed his number again, and it was still switched off. This couldn't be happening.
Looking down the lonely path, I decided to walk down, just in case Jacobi was parked at the end of the road, where Blaze had waited for me months before.
Upon getting there, apart from one or two pedestrians, the place was completely desolate with nearly no car in sight.
Standing on the road, not even caring who saw me, I must have called him a further 20 times, but all with the same outcome. His phone was dead. In a panic, I realised I wasn't going to speak with him that night.
Unless I managed to find my way to the hospital and wait for him.
"Zeynep? Is that you?" came a voice from behind me, making me jump.
I looked back, and my heart crashed when I saw it was the chief security.
" What are you doing out here at this time of night?" he asked, his eyes wide in what looked to be a mix of panic and concern. He caught sight of my bag. "Are you going somewhere?"
"I want to get to the hospital," I answered, after all it was the truth. "I wasn't feeling too well, so I thought I could just go tonight. Doctor will be there."
His brows furrowed. "Hospital? At midnight?" he shook his head. "I have to take you back. You can go to the hospital tomorrow."
"But I have to go now," I shrieked. "What if I die tonight?"
Standing there in my jeans and little handbag, I knew the last thing I looked like I was doing was dying.
"Please, I have to take you back," he implored. "If the minister finds out that you left the compound, you heard what he said he would do to me and my colleagues."
As much as I wanted to call his bluff and run away, and even though it sounded like he was pleading with me, I knew I really had no choice in the matter. He was a renowned marksman and former wrestler and wouldn't hesitate to bundle me back to the ranch if he had to.
Yes, he had a soft spot for me, but his allegiance was still to his employer.
Dejectedly, I turned around and walked back to the ranch, with the guard a respectful distance behind.
Once within the walls, as quietly as I'd left the house was as quietly as I returned. There was no point rousing everyone over a botched mission.
Even though our plans for that evening had fallen through, I still continued to call Jacobi, hoping he would finally answer his call.
But his line remained dead.
It was a little past midnight, after dialing him for the 200th time, that I was hit by a horrible premonition.
What if something had happened to him? What if Ibrahim had attacked him the way he'd done Blaze? I covered my mouth to keep from screaming, as goose bumps erupted all over my body.
I picked up my phone to call somebody, the doctors in the hospital, the nurses, anybody…but I was hit by the stark reality that there were only two phone numbers stored on my phone; Jacobi's, and Damian. I didn't even have madam Maria's number.
I was completely helpless.