Early morning in Konoha was beautiful. Serene. The birds were singing, the sun was shining, and I was suffering.
I stood in the training ground with a loosely assembled plan in my head. Next to me stood Shizuru Nara, who looked like she would rather be disemboweled than do a single jumping jack.
"Before we start," I said in a deadpan voice, "I should mention that Daiken-sensei would be a much better coach than me. Honestly, even the Academy gate guard would be a step up."
She nodded and replied "True, but Daiken-sensei is a jonin with a stack of responsibilities taller than me. Also no one else will have to time to personally focus on my training, like you will do."
She hesitated before mumbling, "You've got a good physique. And you built it on your own. I figured your experience would be useful."
I gave her a look of begrudging respect. Observation skills on point. After getting a few pointers from Daiken during our physical drills, I figured I could at least pass for a discount personal trainer.
"Alright, first things first. We're not turning you into a taijutsu specialist overnight, so drop that fantasy now." I ignored her soul-piercing glare. "We're building stamina, flexibility, and basic strength. No chakra. No whining."
She didn't answer. Just stared at me like she was deeply regretting every life decision that led her to this moment.
"Start with ten minutes of brisk walking around the track," I said, clapping my hands. "Then we move on to dynamic stretches. Leg swings, shoulder rolls, torso twists. Keep those precious Nara joints from crumbling under pressure."
Ten minutes later, she was glaring at me like I had personally insulted her clan. Stole their secret technique and insulted her ancestors while doing it.
We kept going.
"Now for bodyweight exercises," I said, shifting into a dead-serious tone. "One hundred push-ups, one hundred sit-ups, one hundred squats, and a ten-kilometer run. Every day. Until you go bald."
She looked horrified. "Are you mocking me?"
I laughed, scratching the back of my head. "Maybe. The real plan is ten push-ups, fifteen squats, and a twenty-second plank. Three rounds. Focus on form."
"I hate you," she muttered into the grass halfway through.
"That's fair. But also, get back up. You still owe me two more."
By the end of it, she was dragging her feet like a ghost on her final mission. I considered that a win.
"You know this would go faster if I used chakra," she grumbled.
"And you'd burn out before your next meal. Fix the base first."
Dragging her half-dead body behind me, we headed to the library for part two of our unholy alliance. She hated the workout. I hated the idea of being tutored by a six-year-old. Balance.
The Academy library was quiet. That oppressive kind of quiet that makes you feel like thinking too loudly might summon the librarian's wrath. Shizuru took her usual seat like she was preparing for war.
"Let's make a deal," I said, unrolling a scroll. "You feed me information. I pretend to understand. Occasionally I ask something smart to maintain the illusion."
"You owe me snacks for this," she said without looking up.
"Sweet or salty?"
"Both."
Of course.
We studied for about an hour. Or more accurately, she whispered knowledge at me while I tried not to let it leak out of my ears. The girl had a brain like a filing cabinet stuffed with battle strategy and chakra flow charts. I had the creeping suspicion she might actually be a tiny war general.
By the end, I was cautiously optimistic that I wouldn't embarrass myself on the next written exam. Progress.
We left the library just before sunset.
The next morning came too fast. I dragged myself into the classroom and was immediately greeted by Daiken's stone-faced glare.
"Today," he said in a voice that could file down stone, "you will spar."
Excitement swept through the room like someone had just announced a field trip to the Ramen Festival.
"You'll be paired randomly. No lethal force. No chakra. This is to test your physical application and observation. Most of you will fall. Learn from it."
He paused, his gaze sharpening.
"And if you lose a tooth, pick it up. The med-nin don't regrow those for free."
I glanced at Shizuru. She already looked like she was mentally drafting her will.
The training field was wide and open, the kind of place meant for bruises and dramatic defeats. A chalk-drawn circle marked the sparring area. Daiken loomed at the edge like a stone pillar, arms crossed, daring someone to flinch.
"You'll fight in pairs. One minute per match. No flair. No theatrics. Only technique."
"Yes, Daiken-sensei," we all chorused.
He started calling names. Kids shuffled up nervously, some bouncing on their toes like they thought this was the Chūnin Exams.
Kaen Uchiha was already grinning like someone told him he could finally hit people legally.
The early matches were a mess. Sloppy punches, wild kicks, more flailing than fighting. One kid managed to knock himself over with his own leg. Daiken didn't react. He just scribbled a note that probably said "Survivability: Questionable."
Then came my turn.
"Noa. Step forward."
I rolled my shoulders and cracked my neck. Time to test the results of training hell.
My opponent was a Yamanaka boy. Polished. Well-postured. Looked like he'd practiced in a dojo and never actually been hit. This should be fun.
Daiken gave the nod.
The Yamanaka kid charged. Fast. I sidestepped his first punch only to realize it was a feint. He ducked, spun, and swept his leg out low. Smooth. I jumped, barely dodging the sweep, and aimed a strike downward. He rolled away before I could connect.
Alright. Not bad.
I surged forward. A feint, followed by a right hook with real weight. He twisted at the last second, just missing it, and retaliated with a high kick toward my ribs.
But I'd planned for that.
I let the punch go wide on purpose, baiting him into overcommitting. So did I. But unlike him, I used my strength and momentum to pivot, rotating hard and firing a kick upward with full force.
He noticed and reacted fast, swinging his leg up to intercept mine, but I had the reach and got there first putting more strength behind my kick. Our legs collided mid-air with a satisfying crack.
He staggered back, wincing.
"You good?" I asked.
He nodded, then hissed in pain. "What is your leg made of? Metal?"
I smirked. He hobbled off the field on one leg, muttering something under his breath.
"Winner: Noa," Daiken said, his tone as flat and unbothered as ever.
For half a second, I thought I saw something flicker on his face. Not quite a smile, but something dangerously close. Could've been a hallucination. Or a glitch in the Matrix.
I was impressed with the kid's technique. If he had the same strength as me, he probably would've won. But this time, strength beat skill.
I walked back to the line. Kaen Uchiha was staring at me like he was trying to set my hair on fire with his mind.
"You've been training," he muttered.
I tilted my head. "You just noticed?"
He narrowed his eyes. "Don't get cocky."
"Too late."