Eve, listen, I promised like five crocodiles we were gonna go swimming today. They're waiting for us outside the garden wall — there's, like, ten of them — and it's totally safe, I swear.
...What's in your hand?
No. No, you did NOT.I KNOW that's not the fruit of knowledge.Lady, there are literally ten thousand different fruits in this whole freaking garden, all of them delicious. God told us to stay away from just ONE. One. Uno. Singular. AND YOU WENT AND GRABBED IT?
Get that thing out of my face! I don't wanna try it!Are you crazy? Are you MAD?
You realize what's gonna happen, right?God is gonna SHRINK US. Yeah, you think He's just gonna slap us on the wrist? Nah. He's gonna shrink us down. You know how we're, like, twelve feet tall and glowing with divine light right now? Yeah. Say goodbye to that. We're gonna have a kid who's like six foot six and everyone's gonna call him "big" but he's gonna be a dwarf compared to what we were supposed to be. That's how He's gonna punish us.
Wait — what's a kid?Ohhh, don't worry, you're about to find out. You're about to find out REAL FAST.
Do you know how to till the land?Yeah. Me neither. Guess we're gonna figure it out after we get kicked out, or we're gonna STARVE.Good job, Eve. Amazing work.
I said get that outta my face.I don't wanna try it.
What is wrong with you?! WHO told you to do this?
...A snake?
A literal snake?You got tricked by a reptile with no legs?You didn't even THINK — "huh, maybe don't trust talking animals"?GET OUTTA MY SIGHT.
Three days. Three days I walked around Eden, just thinking.Didn't eat. Didn't swim. Didn't talk.Just stared at the rivers and the trees and tried to figure out how it all went sideways.Meanwhile Eve kept following me around with the stupid fruit like "Come on, just one bite."
Get outta here, woman.
And then —on the third day —the air went still.The rivers stopped flowing.The birds froze in the trees.The whole Garden — the whole world — held its breath.
And God — oh man, God Himself —He came down into Eden.Not just His voice. Not just the wind.HE.CAME.
When I tell you I hit the ground like a rock, I mean face-first into the dirt.Eve tried to hide. Pfft. Good luck with that.
And God —He separated us.
He didn't even need to speak.He just reached out His hand,and Eve was pulled away from me, like a leaf ripped off a branch.
And He looked at me —and for a moment, I thought I was done.I thought — this is it, He's gonna wipe me off the face of existence.
But instead...
He forgave me.
Because I hadn't bitten.I hadn't turned my back.I resisted.
And God, in His mercy,He didn't leave me alone.He said:
"It is not good for man to be alone."
And from the breath of Heaven, from the light untainted by betrayal,He formed a new partner for me.
Adara.
Not born from flesh.Not molded from the ground.But from light itself.From breath and spirit.From faithfulness.
And when I saw her —my soul, crushed and torn for days,felt whole again.
Adara — radiant, wise, pure —a being who would stand by me,a being untouched by the serpent's lies.
And Eve?
Eve was branded.
On her wrist, on her soul,the Ouroboros — the mark of endless hunger and self-devouring desire.
Cursed to wander.Cursed to hunger.Cursed to watch her children fall into pain, war, and death.
She tried, one last time —as she was being dragged out beyond the borders of Eden —to force that damn fruit into my hands.
But I kicked it out.I kicked it out and her with it.
And the gates shut behind her.
Me and Adara —we stayed.
We stayed in God's Kingdom.Not Eden exactly — Eden was only a gate, only a shadow —but the true Realm adjacent to Heaven.
There was no decay there.No pain.No betrayal.
We danced among fields that never withered.We drank from waters that sang.We walked in the gardens where the stars themselves bowed to God's glory.
We bore no curse.We were not diminished.
And we waited.Waited for the day when the world beyond the gates would call out,when the descendants of sorrow would need to remember where they came from,who they were meant to be.
And Eve?
Eve went into the dust, into the darkness, into the wars and plagues and betrayals.
She bore sons who tore each other apart.She bore daughters who carried the serpent's whisper in their veins.
She founded a world where no trust lasts forever.A world where love always cuts you.A world of endless hunger.
The Ouroboros spins on her wrist even now.
So yeah.
Next time someone tries to blame all the world's problems on "mankind" falling?
Tell them the real story.
Mankind didn't fall.
Eve fell.
And Adam?Adam was saved.Adam was given Adara.And somewhere, beyond the veil, they are still walking in gardens of light,waiting for the end of all things.