After attending his classes the next day, Dio was worn out. His mental fatigue had now reached a new level, and he had no idea how to respond to this situation. Hina seemed to be avoiding him for some reason, although she refused to accept that fact. John shared a similar stance, while the reason was different. John was crippled with guilt after everything that took place between him and Dio.
"What was that? Who was that….Azure?" he tried his best to recollect the strange vision, but it was hopeless. Even for Dio, that memory felt so distant and alien that his mind automatically refused to remember it. 'Did I just dissociate….?' he thought for a second before shrugging such a possibility off.
There were multiple factors at play here. Firstly, before the moment he saw the vision, Dio's eyes caught a glimpse of the painting. While these could be unrelated phenomena, he didn't wish to rule out the possibility. Second, what was the identity of this Azure, and how was he related to Dio?
He was attempting to establish a cause and effect relationship to something impossible. There were too many gaps in the knowledge that he currently had. Moreover, the idea that somebody could understand what he went through seemed far-fetched.
He could recollect everything that had ever happened since his birth. Albeit, the first few moments were hazy, but nevertheless, he had a clear and vivid recollection of the events that took place. There was nothing in his life so far, no moment or instance that resembled what had happened to him.
The closest were the times were he could hear voices and was right before he almost died saving John. Other than this, the only other peculiar feeling memory was his birth. It felt closer to this Azure than his own recollection of the vision. But all of this was still inexplicable and irrational.
"You seem to be troubled," Currently, Dio was seated on one of the benches near the fields. It was a common area for everyone, professors and students, but it was rarer for teachers to come down here for any specific reason.
"Professor Felix..?" Dio turned around and looked at her maroon hair flying around and almost covering her face.
"Urgh…" she groaned and tried to blow the strands off her face before grabbing them and tucking them behind her ears. "Come with me," she smiled before turning around.
Why were all the women in his life so authoritative and direct? He wasn't complaining but rather found the observation interesting. He followed her until they eventually reached a similar room to the one Dio had entered. A large field where a multitude of students were training and practicing.
"Here," she gestured to an unoccupied corner. Once the two of them were there, she placed a veil over them to ensure nobody could eavesdrop. "You are disturbed…"
"What gave it away…?"
"Your ego is wavering. Almost like it doesn't understand where it belongs…" She narrowed her eyes at him, "I did mean what I said previously, but this is just as dangerous. Run me through what happened,"
"..." he stayed quiet and stared at her. There was something weird about all of this, he couldn't really understand why he was with her right now. "Could I know why you're bothering yourself with this? What reason do you have..?"
"Hmmm…." She massaged her chin while cocking her head, "I've been observing you for longer than I knew you'd be in my class. Your ego at the moment resembles a state similar to the entrance test,"
"I noticed fluctuations since the beginning, but that is normal. Every person has a fluctuating ego; it shuffles and shifts according to our thoughts and feelings. But there was one particular moment where the shift was immense," she smiled as if she had answered a question in his head.
"The moment I jumped in to save John…."
"Yes. The shape of your ego remained consistent in most cases, though there were some blows dealt to it during your loss. Other than that, the most prominent change was during the last duel…..it was as if I was looking at another person.."
"It felt alien and like the complete opposite of who I am…" he replied in an inquisitive tone.
"Well, I'm not quite sure about all that. I will say, though, your ego at that moment was no longer just a strong one. I….couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was. At first, I had narrowed it down to a mistake on my end…but now, I'm curious. So tell me, Dio…what's bothering you?"
"I had a vision of another reality where I was another person," he imagined saying it out loud and thought of how stupid it would seem. No matter how he phrased it, there was no possible explanation.
"Don't let any thoughts stop you. At times of hesitation, your thoughts prioritize your safety, but what these thoughts protect us from is nothing but a better version of ourselves."
He understood what she meant. There were times were people were better off acting than thinking, and some other moments were the reverse would work. At this particular moment, his thoughts about how stupid it would sound could be viewed as obstructive and interruptive.
"I had a vision. I wasn't myself anymore. I was in another place, sitting down in what seemed like a classroom. Everybody, and this included the teacher, seemed to have had something against me. It was vague, I never felt so isolated before…."
"The classroom itself looked completely different to what we would have here…the desks, the walls, the windows…everything,"
"That's….about it…I seem to have trouble remembering what exactly happened.." He ended it in a solemn tone; the consequence of not being able to recall was clearly reflecting on his feelings.
"Were you afraid…?" Felix asked after pondering for a bit. She had no intention of ridiculing or mocking Dio for what he saw. After all, thoughts may not be physical, but that doesn't mean they aren't real.
"Afraid…?" his eyes widened for a second. Had he ever felt truly afraid? Had Dio ever felt insecure and uncomfortable? What about when he was Azure? In the vision, the feeling of unfamiliarity could've been due to the overwhelming new sensations of that body.
Even if that body was used to being afraid, wasn't fear the mind-killer? Wasn't it all in the head? Why would it matter if his mind was strong?
"Not the you in the vision," She held out her finger and poked it directly into his chest. I'm referring to you—the current you. Were you afraid, Dio?"