Since they had already arrived at Drum Island, there was no way they wouldn't take the opportunity to meet Dr. Kureha, the legendary hidden powerhouse!
After asking for directions multiple times along the way, Antonio finally led the group to a castle clinic perched atop one of Drum's snowy peaks. The name was fitting—"The Witch's Clinic." However, the price list posted at the entrance was enough to scare away most visitors.
A simple cold would cost at least 100,000 Belly, and the fees for more serious illnesses were even steeper. But at the very bottom of the sign, a single sentence stood out:
"Guaranteed cure—guaranteed recovery."
Brook stepped inside without hesitation. The place was empty—no patients, no assistants—just a tall, thin old woman with white hair, casually drinking. The scene felt oddly similar to Shakky's Rip-off Bar: business was slow, but when it did come, it was enough to last for years.
Dr. Kureha, tipsy as ever, glanced at Brook as he walked in. Her brows furrowed. Something about him felt… off. No heartbeat. No body heat.
"Dr. Kureha, I hear you can cure anything."
Brook smiled faintly and took a seat in front of her. Antonio, a little nervous, found himself a spot as well. The memory seahorse and the parrot rested on the qilin-lion's back, staying silent.
"And what exactly do you need treatment for?"
The eerie aura around Brook seemed to sober Kureha up instantly. Her expression turned serious as she studied his pale, skeletal form.
"I want to know if I can still have children in the future."
Brook's voice was calm, as if he were asking about someone else's problem—completely unconcerned.
"...Are you dealing with impotence? Infertility? Or did someone smash your family jewels in a fight?"
Dr. Kureha's sharp tongue made Brook's expression freeze for a moment. As expected of an old witch—she had no filter whatsoever.
"None of the above. I'm a Yomi Yomi no Mi user. In other words, I've already died once. My soul escaped from hell, and this is what's left of my body."
Brook wasn't hiding anything. There was no reason to keep such information secret.
"A Devil Fruit like that actually exists? Hah, truly fascinating!"
Kureha marveled at the strange abilities of Devil Fruits while rummaging through her supplies. A moment later, she pulled out a small test tube and handed it to Brook.
"...What's this for?"
Brook examined the empty tube in confusion. It wasn't medicine, nor a drink. Was she planning to take a blood sample?
"You want to check your fertility, don't you? Go to the bathroom and, well—fill it up. Unless, of course, your little ancestor isn't working anymore?"
Dr. Kureha cut straight to the point, aiming to conduct a fundamental test—was his essence still what it used to be?
Antonio immediately turned his head away, pretending he didn't exist. But the slight twitch at the corner of his lips betrayed his amusement. Brook, on the other hand, looked completely mortified.
"Tch. But this test might take a while. Antonio, why don't you go grab a meal and come back later?"
Brook decisively sent Antonio away, not wanting his crewmate to feel insecure after witnessing their captain's greatness.
"A while? You've got ten minutes, tops. I'm clocking out soon."
Kureha's blunt response made Antonio rush out the door, struggling to hold back laughter, while Brook's expression darkened. He glared at the sharp-tongued doctor, but there was nothing he could do.
In the end, with a gloomy face, Brook slowly trudged toward the bathroom.
"Cheer up! With that attitude, how do you expect to produce a high-quality sample?" Kureha teased. "Then again, you might not have anything left to produce—you are a corpse, after all!"
What the hell? This was beyond ruthless—this was soul-crushing!
Despairing, Brook shut himself in the bathroom. He closed his eyes and tried to recall the 150 terabytes of educational material stored in his memory. Ah, those teachers… their lectures were truly masterpieces.
Gradually… he started to feel something.
Following my left hand, right hand, a slow motion, then back again—like a train entering a tunnel, or a rocket launching into space. At the last moment, timing perfectly, Brook walked out holding the essence and handed it to Dr. Kureha.
He had chosen to steal a bottle from Dr. Kureha's alcohol rack to numb himself. Maybe a drink would drown his sorrows.
"Private collection, 200,000 Belly per bottle. Thank you for your patronage!" Dr. Kureha said, before heading into her medical lab to study the essence, hoping to see if the dead still had any life in them.
After downing a few bottles of strong liquor, Brook realized something: he couldn't get drunk. The alcohol was consumed and assimilated by his Yomi Yomi no Mi powers. It turned out that not only was he immune to all poisons, but he had also lost the ability to even get drunk.
If I can't enjoy alcohol, what's the point of this immortality?
Brook thought about crying out to the heavens. Even if eternal life brings all sorts of exciting experiences, he didn't want variety—he just wanted... pleasure.
A cold tear silently rolled down his cheek, leaving his parrot, the seahorse, and the qilin lion all confused. Was their cold-hearted captain really crying?
Forget it. Even without offspring, it wouldn't be the end. He could always adopt dozens or even hundreds of children, just like King Wen. Otherwise, after living so long, what would he have to hold onto?
As time passed, Antonio returned, carrying several meals for Brook and his pets.
In the medical lab...
Dr. Kureha observed the essence under the microscope. There were still many tadpoles swimming around!
But as the temperature rose, they quickly lost their vitality. When cold, they were highly destructive, freezing other cells. This meant they were basically sterile.
No other eggs could survive the Yomi cold temperature, and without the cold environment, Brook's tadpoles lost their vitality on their own.
She tested many types of cells, but none could withstand the cold needed for the tadpoles to survive.
Dr. Kureha, helpless, recorded her data and walked out to tell Brook.
"Can't withstand the cold? Does that mean I have no chance of having children?" Brook was prepared for the worst, but it still hit hard. To think he would be unable to have descendants… what good is this iron rod now?
"And you shouldn't harm other women either. The low temperature of your essence could injure them!" Dr. Kureha's words hit Brook again, making him feel cold inside. Was he going to lose even the right to be a man?
"Does this mean I'll be a eunuch for the rest of my life?"
Brook's voice trembled. This was the ultimate humiliation for any man!
"If you kill a woman every time, you could still keep going. But only if your women are strong enough. But how many women in the world are stronger than a Rear Admiral?"
In the New World, the rulers were almost all men, with almost no strong female warriors!
"So, if my woman is strong enough, she could handle it? Then there's still a chance to enjoy the perks of being a man and have children, right?"
Brook asked desperately. This was about his future!
"Theoretically, yes. But such women don't exist. Even if they did, someone of your strength could never have one."
To produce eggs that could withstand Brook's freezing essence… just how strong would that woman have to be? A woman of that caliber wouldn't even be someone someone of Brook's strength could hope to have!
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+100 chapters on p@treon/tambeerg