Was it really that funny?
Hikigaya looked around at the classroom, feeling a little confused. Did he actually have some hidden talent for comedy?
"Hey! You damn dead-fish eyes, what the hell are you saying?!"
"You bastard! Who are you calling a dumb monkey?!"
Unlike the rest of the class, who were laughing their heads off, Ike and Yamauchi couldn't find anything funny about this at all. Their faces were bright red, making them look even more like monkeys. The whole scene was downright ridiculous.
Being humiliated like this in front of everyone, the two of them were already boiling with rage toward Hikigaya.
Normally, they had no shame when it came to loudly telling dirty jokes or laughing at crude humor. Yet, somehow, just being called "dumb monkeys" by Hikigaya completely shattered their pride. Who knew what kind of weird sense of shame they had?
"Are you two incapable of understanding human language?"
Hikigaya smirked. "Sorry, I don't speak 'monkeynese.' You'll just have to make do with this."
The moment Hikigaya finished speaking, Sakura suddenly let out a small giggle.
Realizing what she had done, her face instantly turned bright red, and she quickly covered her mouth.
Meanwhile, the rest of the class was laughing even harder. For a moment, Class D sounded like they were watching a comedy show. Anyone passing by might have thought they were filming *Human Observation*!
The louder the laughter got, the redder Ike and Yamauchi's faces became. Ike's ears were practically glowing.
The only thing they could do now was cling to their one argument—that because of Hikigaya, Sudou had been framed by Class C. Hirata tried to step in and calm them down, hoping to explain things, but Ike and Yamauchi were too blinded by anger to listen. They just kept shouting about how everything was Hikigaya's fault and that he should take responsibility.
Hikigaya looked at them like they were complete idiots and sneered.
"Idiots will be idiots. So if Class C students say Hirata is their inside man, Kushida is an evil girl, or that I have millions of private points, would you believe that too?"
Ike and Yamauchi were left speechless. Hirata let out a helpless sigh, while Horikita crossed her arms, looking like she was just there to enjoy the show. Meanwhile, Kushida nervously glanced around. When she saw that no one was looking at her, she let out a small sigh of relief. At the same time, she shot a sharp glare at Hikigaya—so much for her defending him earlier!
"You… You're just twisting words! Yeah, that's what you're doing!"
Ike suddenly remembered this phrase and quickly shouted it out.
But Hikigaya just sneered. "Then let me put it another way. The girls from Class A said you guys were harassing them. Using the excuse of 'looking for witnesses,' you approached them and kept making dirty jokes. That's not twisting words—that's just the truth, isn't it?"
"D-Don't make things up! Kanji and I didn't do anything!"
Yamauchi suddenly yelled, but the panic on his face only made more people suspicious.
Hikigaya smirked at the panicked faces of Yamauchi and Ike. These two were like monkeys—completely unable to hide their emotions. Everything was written all over their faces.
"Oh? So you're saying it's not true that you shamelessly followed Class A girls around, asking for their contact info? That you claimed you were 'Class D's shining sun,' that even Hirata had to admit defeat, and that many girls in our class wrote you love letters, but you turned them all down? Did I get anything wrong, Yamauchi?"
Hikigaya's expression was half-smirking as he looked at the pale-faced Yamauchi. Then, he turned to Ike, his face full of open disgust.
"And you? Wasn't it you who thought it wasn't enough to just admire your collection of 'big-breasted elf girls,' 'headlight JKs,' and 'swimsuit gravure photos' alone? So you just had to share them with other girls too? Oh, and let's not forget—you especially love sending these things in the middle of the night. What, are you in heat or something?"
The class erupted in an uproar. Many of the girls looked at Ike and Yamauchi with clear disgust and contempt. Even the girls sitting near them couldn't help but move their desks and chairs away, as if trying to distance themselves from something filthy.
Ike's face turned a deep, pig-liver shade of red.
"H-How do you know?! No—wait, I didn't do it! Hikigaya, you're making this up!"
Yamauchi pointed at Hikigaya and shouted, "You're just jealous that I'm so popular with girls, so you're slandering me! That's definitely it!"
He sounded like someone who refused to wake up from his own delusions.
Ike quickly backed him up, yelling insults at Hikigaya, insisting they were innocent and accusing him of defamation.
"You got any proof?! This is straight-up slander! I'll sue you! I'll sue you until you go bankrupt!"
Ike puffed out his chest, looking ridiculously confident as he shouted.
Some of the other students hesitated. Could it be that Ike was actually being framed?
Hikigaya looked at the two idiots like they were complete morons and sighed in pity.
"Are your brains stuffed with garbage? Is that why you're this dumb? You think I pulled this out of nowhere? The girls from Class A already reported you two to the student council for harassment. Forget proof—they were ready to deduct all our class points because of you two brainless, horny monkeys!"
At first, the other students had been watching like they were just enjoying some gossip. But when they heard that class points were at stake, their attitudes completely changed. Yamauchi and Ike instantly became public enemies, bombarded with insults and scoldings from their classmates.
"Hirata, Kushida, and the others were working hard to help, but what about you two? Instead of doing anything useful, you used the excuse of 'finding witnesses' to harass girls from other classes! And now, because of you, we're getting reported to the student council?! As your classmate, I feel embarrassed just being in the same room as you! No wonder you guys are stuck eating wild grass every day!"
"No wonder the girls from other classes have been looking at me weirdly! It's because of you two morons!"
Even the boys in the class finally started realizing what had happened.
Hikigaya threw in one last jab.
"Ike, Yamauchi—you two were happy to enjoy the benefits of being in this class, yet you went around ruining its reputation at the same time. Shameless, selfish, greedy, and perverted. No wonder everyone in the class is disgusted by you."
And yet, despite all this, Hirata—ever the 'nice guy'—still tried to step in and smooth things over.
But instead of calming things down, his actions only made the other students angrier.
Everyone knew how much Hirata had done for the class. Yet these two idiots had trampled over all of that.
It wasn't just about losing class points anymore. The real anger came from how unfair this was to Hirata.
The room filled with outrage.
It was as if everyone had forgotten that the original target had been Hikigaya.
Now, all the anger was directed at the two clueless idiots.
Hikigaya coldly watched the two fools as they panicked and fled from the classroom.
There wasn't a shred of sympathy in his heart.
In fact, he had already expected something like this to happen today.
The only disappointment was… in the end, the ones who jumped out to challenge him were, as expected, these two buffoons.
It was exactly as he had predicted.
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