The scene from that time unfolds before Raleigh's eyes again. The smell of gunpowder, the stench of blood, the sound of metal.
"But... one day when I stood on a real battlefield, when a bullet grazed near my finger, I wet myself, though I never told anyone."
"..."
"I was terrified. The kingdom of the Lord, glory, whatever was in my head disappeared, and I just wanted to run away from there. Only shame held me back."
Raleigh removed his glove to show the finger that had been grazed by the bullet that day.
"I've been ashamed every time I remember that day for my entire life. To fear death. I who claimed to go fight for the Lord's cause, was so scared and just whimpering..."
"You were in your teens, weren't you? It's only natural."
"No. At that time, the Lord's kingdom seemed not far from my sight. Yet I was afraid? To fear going to the place all creatures yearn to go? Doesn't that make no sense?"
