Sora didn't know how long he had been in this place, but after learning some techniques to increase his control—and some techniques he would never use for moral reasons—he was starting to feel the weight of his mother's... creativity.
Like, come on. Fully destroying a Shinigami's soul? Twisting someone's balls? Freezing their nuts while they were still in the sack?
Freezing their lungs, making their Reiryoku poison to them? Like, come on. For moral reasons, he could not use such brutal techniques.
He didn't even know why his mom had them.
Apparently, some male Quincy couldn't take no for an answer... she felt sorry for them.
Oh well.
"Alright, enough technique talk. Let's get into the real juicy stuff—do you have a girlfriend?" She seemed giddy.
"...Excuse me?" Sora looked at his mom's giddiness. She seemed like she found something fun.
"A. Girlfriend. Do. You. Have. One?" Why was she speaking like that?
Sora, being the good boy that he was, nervously said, "Uh... yeah?"
Kaede clapped her hands together, absolutely beaming. "MY BABY BOY ISN'T A LONER! PRAISE BE THE SOUL KING—oh wait, fuck that guy."
The Soul King, casually watching from a distance: "...."
Why was he out here catching strays?
Kaede turned back to Sora, grinning like a gremlin. "Tell me everything. Who is she? How did you meet? What's she like? Does she treat you well? Do I need to haunt her?"
"She's a Soul Reaper," he said, trying to gauge her reaction.
"And?" Okay, she didn't care about that. Good.
"You don't care?"
"Honey, do I look like I give a damn about Quincy-Soul Reaper politics? If she makes you happy, that's what matters," she said, smiling.
"She does. She's strong, smart, a bit of a hothead sometimes, and she's absolutely adorable," he said with a smile.
"My baby boy is in love! This is the best day ever!" she cheered, all happy.
"Alright, alright, calm down—"
"Wait." Kaede suddenly narrowed her eyes. "You're a young, good-looking guy... I need to know."
Sora blinked. "Know what?"
"How's your sex life?"
He should have expected this, to be fair.
"MOM—WHAT THE HELL?!" He, in fact, did not expect her to say something like this.
"What? I need to know if I'm gonna be a grandma soon," was her honest reply.
"Oh my god, can we not—" he said, trying to bury his face somewhere so that this embarrassment could end.
"Nope! Answer me!"
"I'M NOT GETTING HER PREGNANT!" Sora replied. He was safe with it. He wore a rubber, for Christ's sake. He had never done it without protection.
Safety first, after all.
Kaede nodded approvingly. "Good. Don't rush into things too fast—"
Sora exhaled in relief.
"—But if you do, at least name the kid after me."
"MOM, FOR THE LOVE OF—"
Kaede, still grinning, rested her chin on her hand. "Alright, so what's the biggest challenge in your love life?"
Sora sighed heavily. "Her brother moved in with us to cockblock me."
Kaede's eyes gleamed. "Oh, I LOVE this. Tell me more."
Sora rubbed his face. "He's like a damn hawk. Always watching. Always judging. It's impossible to be alone with her for more than five minutes before he shows up like some sort of guardian angel of celibacy."
"Oh, that's beautiful. That's pure sibling energy. I respect the hell out of him." She liked this. She liked this a lot.
"YOU'RE NOT HELPING." Sora was slightly annoyed, slightly enjoying this moment.
Kaede patted his head. "Oh, baby, I don't need to help. I just need to sit back and watch you suffer. That's a mother's privilege."
"...You are sounding like someone who I would find annoying."
"No, you don't~."
Kaede, still smiling, tilted her head. "Just don't get her pregnant too fast, alright?"
Sora scoffed. "Do I look like the kind of guy to do that?"
Kaede's expression softened.
She shook her head. "No."
He froze a bit. Usually, people would either stay silent or say yes, as if they expected him to do some devious stuff like that. Did he look like the kind of person who would just rawdog it without thinking of the consequences?
The memory of a few minutes ago, where he set the timeline in stone just because it ended in him getting the best session his life could have experienced, flashed through his mind.
He felt no guilt over that choice. That was some premium action right there. Six hours of bliss, dammit.
Do you understand the stuff he could do in that time? The positions that could be used? Out here giving the backshots of doom.
Anyway, enough about what his future self may or may not be planning to do. Let's now focus on him.
Hearing his mother's words, he sighed a bit. Okay, maybe he would have a rubber on. His mom knew him better than anyone, and she knew one of his weak spots was that he didn't like disappointing people he viewed highly.
As in, if she said she didn't think he was that kind of person... he wouldn't be that kind of person. He didn't want to disappoint her.
Yes, she knew her baby well.
She even squeezed his cheeks. He looked so cute.