"What can I do? I'm just a coward!"
Eriri puffed up her cheeks in frustration, looking like an agitated pufferfish about to explode.
She had mustered up all her courage, taken the plunge, and yet… this was his reaction?
"Is that all?"
Seriously? What does that even mean? Did he expect her to push him down, straddle him, and shower him with MUA MUA MUA-level kisses just to get some kind of reaction?
That's too much! She can't do it!
But despite her internal screaming, a tiny part of her still held on, waiting, hoping that he'd say something to make it all better. After all, they'd known each other for years—she understood him well enough to know he wasn't the type to trample on someone's feelings without a second thought.
So, she turned her head again, watching him intently, waiting for an explanation.
...
...
Silence.
A long, unbearable silence.
And with every passing second, the frustration in her heart grew into something deeper, heavier—an unbearable weight pressing against her chest. It felt like he was confirming her worst fears. That he didn't care. That she didn't matter to him the way she wanted to.
Tears burned behind her eyes, but she swallowed them down, forcing herself to remain strong.
"Then why are you still lying here?" she snapped, her voice sharp with frustration. "Go find someone who actually wants to kiss you! I don't care! Stop meddling in my business!"
She was right, wasn't she?
He had clearly been closer—more intimate—with other girls. If not, why would he be so unfazed by what had just happened? Why would he react like her efforts were just… a joke?
She had thrown herself into the fire, and he hadn't even flinched.
And now, to make things worse, he didn't even have the decency to come up with a proper excuse. He wasn't even lying to her, wasn't even pretending to care. He was just… letting her drown in her own emotions.
She had hoped, deep down, that he would at least try to deceive her. That he'd offer her some sort of lie, some excuse that would make her believe—just for a little longer—that she still had a place in his heart.
But no.
Now, she finally understood.
There was no going back.
Their relationship had already changed.
"Wait, Eriri, calm down and listen to me—"
"…"
She didn't want to listen.
She already knew what he was going to say. He was going to end it. He was going to tell her the truth, that he had moved on, that he liked someone else, and that they were now happily in love.
She didn't want to hear it.
If she didn't hear it, then maybe—just maybe—their relationship wouldn't be over yet.
If she never heard him say it, then maybe she could still pretend that they weren't just going to be "friends" forever.
"I think there's a misunderstanding between us," he said, his voice steady.
"…"
She pursed her lips, staring at the boy still resting on her lap, looking at her with that unreadable expression.
A misunderstanding?
Was that supposed to mean she had gotten the wrong idea all along? That she had mistaken his kindness for something more? That all those moments when he had humored her whims, put up with her selfishness, stood by her side—
—were just pity?
Had she been nothing more than a clueless fool, clinging onto a dream that had never existed in the first place?
But if that was the case, then why? Why had he never stopped her before? Why had he indulged her, time and time again? Had he really just been keeping her around out of guilt?
No.
She didn't want to think about it anymore.
She had already fallen too far. It was too late to climb back out.
She had poisoned herself with this foolish hope, and there was no antidote.
And yet, deep inside, she knew she couldn't blame him.
After all, she had been the one to reject him before, hadn't she? She had been the one who said, "Let's just be friends."
So, of course, he had moved on.
And now… now it was too late for her to do anything about it.
This is it, she thought. This is the end.
She braced herself, ready for the words that would shatter her completely.
"I'm listening... go on..."
She met his gaze, her expression unreadable, her body tense with the effort of holding herself together.
She didn't dare move.
Because if she did—if she let herself slip even a little—
—she might just start crying.
"Well... I'll make it short," Natsukawa Kanade exhaled, hesitating for just a moment before continuing, "Actually, what I meant earlier, when I said, 'Is this the end?'—I wasn't mocking you or anything like that. I just meant... is that all you're going to do? I thought maybe you had some other prank in mind."
"…Prank?" Eriri repeated dumbly, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," Kanade nodded, still lying on her lap, eyes trained on the sky above. "I figured you were messing with me. I mean, you're always pulling stunts, so I thought you were just testing me or something. That's why I phrased it that way. I didn't want to embarrass you—or, well, make you mad, but... judging by your reaction, I clearly failed at that."
As he spoke, he mentally rewound the entire scene from earlier. Everything had been fine. He was even enjoying the knee pillow, soaking in the comfortable atmosphere. Then, out of nowhere, she snapped, turning into an angry little pufferfish, yelling about how she was a coward.
At first, he had no idea what was going on. But then, when she practically spat out, "Then go kiss and hug someone else!"—everything clicked.
The misunderstanding had gone completely off the rails.
Again.
Just like yesterday, when he had blurted out something thoughtless and ended up causing unnecessary drama.
But in a way, it was lucky. If she hadn't gotten mad and said something, he might have been left completely clueless about what she had been thinking.
"Anyway, that's what happened," Kanade said with a slight shrug. "I wasn't making fun of you. I just... thought you'd go further with your 'punishment.'"
He studied her reaction carefully, though it was a bit difficult since he was still looking at her upside down. Even so, he caught the minute twitch in her expression—
A tiny flinch of pure, unfiltered mortification.
Crap. Danger detected.
Time to change the subject.
"Uh—what I meant was, you can punish me however you want," Kanade quickly corrected himself. "Since I was late, it's only fair, right? Don't hold back just because of me. I'm totally at your mercy here."
He even put on an exaggerated, well-behaved expression to sell the act.
"Oh, and by the way, I had my eyes closed the entire time," he added, as if that made a difference. "So I was just guessing that you did something to me. It's not like I saw anything, you know?"
Not a lie, technically. But also not something he should have said.
Because the moment the words left his mouth, Eriri completely short-circuited.
Her mind blanked out. Her entire thought process crashed.
Who am I?
What am I doing?
Why am I even here!?
And just like that, she went from brain overload to nuclear meltdown.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
OH. MY. GOD.
How can someone have so many inner thoughts all at once!?
HELP!
Her face burned. Her ears burned. Even her soul felt like it was burning. If she could go back in time and slap herself unconscious to escape this level of shame, she absolutely would.
This was it.
This was the most embarrassing moment of her life.
And she wanted nothing more than to disappear right then and there.
***************
T/N:
How about that for drama?
See you in the next chapter1!