Before they could get any further lost in the whole "romantic moment" thing (which, let's be honest, was more like a sizzling moment—Harry wasn't exactly ready to set that fire down just yet), a bright flash of light filled the room. It was like someone had just activated a flashbang right in the middle of a romantic rendezvous—not that Harry had any complaints about the sudden interruption. Nope, not even a little.
Both of them turned instinctively, their quiet moment shredded by the sound of a voice full of unimpressed sarcasm.
"Well, this is a sight," Sprite said, leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed and an expression that screamed I'm way too cool for this. The smirk she was sporting could've been straight out of a comic book villain's playbook. If there were ever an award for the "Most Unwelcome Surprise Entrance," this kid would be a solid contender.
Sersi let out a long, slow sigh, her expression a mix of exasperation and genuine affection. "Sprite, don't you knock?"
Sprite just shrugged, the smirk on her face now practically glowing. "Why bother when I can just teleport in? It's like the ultimate doorbell, but with more drama."
Harry raised an eyebrow at Sersi. "Who's this?"
"Harry, meet Sprite." Sersi gestured to the young-looking Eternal, her tone the kind of weary fondness you'd expect from someone who had been dealing with an eternally sarcastic teenager for far too long. "She's an Eternal, just like me."
Sprite gave him a quick, sideways glance, then flared her lips into a grin that could've melted steel. "Nice to meet you, Potter." She shook his hand with all the enthusiasm of someone who'd just been told they were forced to attend a mandatory family reunion. "Sersi's told me you're quite the character. A wizard and an Avenger? What is this, some sort of crazy crossover episode?"
Harry chuckled. "I guess I'm not your typical wizard. Kind of like how you're not your typical… whatever it is you are."
Sprite shot him a look that was equal parts amused and slightly menacing. "Oh, I'm just Sprite. The one who teleports in to save the day with my wit and unmatched charm."
"Glad to know someone is saving the day," Harry replied, his tone light but the words wrapped in that deadly casualness that only he could pull off. "So, what's the news? HYDRA's plans to take over the world again?"
Sprite gave a dramatic gasp, her hand clutching her chest. "How did you guess?" she said in mock horror. "No, it's actually worse. Kingo's in town, and he says he's got important intel about HYDRA."
That snapped Sersi into action. Her posture shifted, the playful, warm energy melting away into the cool, focused demeanor of someone who had faced threats that were much worse than HYDRA and lived to tell the tale. "Kingo's here?" Her voice dropped into a more serious tone. "If he has information, it could be crucial."
Harry nodded, already shifting into action mode. His instincts were kicking in—HYDRA was bad news, and Kingo was always wrapped up in something big. "Well, we can't keep him waiting," he said, flashing a grin that had just the right amount of cockiness. "Let's see what this diva has to say."
Sersi smiled at him, that look of fond exasperation returning. "You're all talk, aren't you?"
"I mean, someone has to be," Harry shot back, giving her a wink that could've melted the heart of even the most battle-hardened Eternal. "You've got all the moves, but I've got all the words."
"Oh, I know," she said, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "But don't get too cocky. We've got a real fight ahead of us."
"Good thing I'm built for it," Harry said, flashing another grin as he followed her out the door, Sprite trailing behind them.
As they walked out into the streets of the city, Harry couldn't help but feel a rush of determination. They weren't just dealing with some evil cabal anymore—this was HYDRA. And with the Eternals by his side, they actually stood a chance.
As they made their way to Kingo's meeting spot, Harry turned to Sprite with a teasing smile. "So, what's your deal? Got any cool superpowers, or do you just break into rooms and crack sarcastic jokes?"
Sprite shot him a look that was half-amused, half-deadly. "I'm an Eternal. You think I just pop in to entertain you with my charm?"
"Pretty much," Harry grinned, dodging a playful slap as Sprite shot him a mock glare. "But, hey, no judgment. We all need a hobby."
Sersi rolled her eyes. "Do I even want to know what the two of you are planning?"
Harry just shrugged. "Nothing much. Just planning world domination. You know, the usual Tuesday stuff."
Sprite laughed, giving Harry a sideways glance. "Don't get any ideas, Potter. I'm the only one allowed to dominate around here."
"Oh, I don't know," Harry said with a wink, turning to Sersi. "She looks like the type who could use some competition."
Sersi chuckled under her breath, but her eyes remained focused ahead, the weight of the task ahead never far from her mind. The teasing, the banter—it was their way of pushing the danger back for a moment. But Harry knew, deep down, that this fight wasn't going to be easy. But with Sersi and the rest of the Eternals on his side, maybe they actually stood a chance.
"Let's see what Kingo has to say," Harry muttered, already feeling the heat of the coming battle.
And so, with a sarcastic grin and a side of tension thicker than the air between Harry and Sersi, they pressed forward—together.
—
As Harry, Sersi, and Sprite strutted through the bustling streets of London, heading toward Kingo's penthouse, the city felt like a backdrop to something way bigger than any typical Wednesday. The energy around them was electric, full of life and opportunity—and not a single person on the street had a clue that the fate of a tech genius, a group of ancient artifacts, and possibly the entire world hung in the balance. No pressure, right?
Sersi was casually filling Harry in on Kingo's colorful history, like she was telling him about a weird-but-awesome family member you'd never stop talking about at a party.
"Kingo's a bit of a legend," she said with a smile, clearly proud of her eccentric friend. "He's been moonlighting as a Bollywood star for decades. But don't let that fool you; he's as committed to our cause as anyone."
Harry blinked, processing the legendary Bollywood part of the equation. "A Bollywood star? Seriously? That's not the cover story I was expecting. Was he the guy in those movies where they just break into elaborate dance routines for no reason? Because that's totally the vibe I'm getting."
Sprite, of course, couldn't resist. "You have no idea," she chimed in with a wink. "If you're lucky, maybe he'll serenade you with a dance number. Prepare yourself for sequins."
"Great. Just what I need," Harry muttered under his breath, already imagining himself trying to avoid being swept up in a song-and-dance routine in the middle of some emergency. The last time he'd been in a fight, it involved a lot of shouting and not enough choreography.
As they approached Kingo's penthouse, Harry couldn't help but think that this was definitely not the average hero hangout. It screamed opulence, as though someone had taken a luxury penthouse and turned it into a set for a high-budget heist movie. Marble floors, chandeliers that looked like they cost more than a small country's GDP—yeah, Kingo was doing just fine.
The door swung open to reveal Kingo himself, wearing an outfit that screamed Bollywood superstar, complete with a smile that probably made people faint in the streets. It was like he'd stepped straight off a movie set, only this time, there wasn't any dramatic background music. Just his charisma filling the room.
"Sersi, Sprite! And you must be Harry," Kingo said, his voice rich with charm and enough confidence to fill a stadium. He gave Harry a handshake that was firm but full of that movie-star shine. "Heard a lot about you, mate. Must say, I've seen your work with the Avengers. Impressive stuff. Very dramatic. The great wizard."
Harry gave him a grin, trying his best not to feel like he was in the presence of a walking, talking legend. "Likewise. Not every day you meet a Bollywood superstar who's also an Eternal." He paused. "Does the dramatic entrance come with a musical number, or is that just for special occasions?"
Kingo chuckled, the sound smooth and deep. "You'll have to wait and see. But no promises."
As they sat down in his extra fabulous living room (seriously, who decorates like this?), Kingo's expression shifted from charming to serious, like someone switching gears mid-scene.
"So here's the scoop: Phastos and his family are MIA."
Harry frowned, suddenly alert. "Phastos? What happened?"
Kingo's face grew tight with concern. "Phastos was contacted by someone claiming to have intel on ancient artifacts. They met, and then—poof—no more Phastos, no more family."
Sersi's brows furrowed as her fingers tapped an absent rhythm on the table. "Do you think HYDRA's involved?"
Kingo gave a nod, looking like he had a bad hunch that he didn't want to share. "It's a strong possibility. The guy who contacted Phastos has HYDRA connections. Was one of the infiltrators in SHIELD. Seems like Phastos walked right into their trap."
Sersi's fists clenched, a flash of anger crossing her face. "We can't let them get their hands on him. Phastos is a tech genius. If they take him—"
Sprite, ever the practical one, jumped in. "Yeah, we really don't want that to happen. Kingo, any leads?"
Kingo nodded, his eyes narrowing with determination. "I've got some contacts who might have the info we need. I'll start reaching out to them now."
Harry stood up, his mind already shifting into battle mode. "Count me in. We move fast, no time for messing around."
Sprite snorted from her seat, clearly enjoying this whole action hero routine. "You know, it might be time for the rest of the Avengers to meet your girlfriend."
Harry froze. "Uh, yeah. Maybe. It's... complicated."
Sprite's grin widened like a cat that just caught the canary. "Oh, please. Tony Stark already tried to recruit her. Remember? And she politely turned him down. I'm sure the rest of the team will be thrilled."
Harry shot her a look. "Thanks for the reminder, Sprite. I'm sure they'll love that."
Sersi chuckled, eyes twinkling with amusement. "Well, when you're ready, Harry. It's not like we've been keeping secrets from anyone." She leaned back, her playful expression melting into one of quiet strength. "But we need to focus. This isn't just about Phastos anymore. HYDRA's making a move, and if they get their hands on him, they could have access to technology we've fought to protect for centuries."
Harry's eyes flickered with that spark of determination that made him who he was—a guy who didn't back down from a challenge, no matter how much drama came with it. "Let's make sure that doesn't happen. We find Phastos, take down HYDRA, and make sure Kingo gets his dance number later."
Sprite snickered. "Good luck with that."
Kingo clapped his hands together, smiling once again like a man who was ready to take on whatever the universe threw at him. "Alright, then. We've got a mission. Let's get to work."
And with that, the group was ready—determined, focused, and maybe just a little bit entertained by the absurdity of it all. Harry knew this wasn't going to be an easy mission, but with this team, maybe it was just a little bit more fun than it had any right to be.
The clock was ticking. HYDRA didn't stand a chance.
—
The Avengers Tower was buzzing with excitement. Or maybe it was just Harry's nerves doing an awkward tap dance in his stomach. Either way, the place was electric with anticipation. Today, Harry's girlfriend, Sersi, was going to meet the team, and if there was one thing Harry was sure of, it was that this reunion was going to be something. He had just about convinced himself to be cool, but let's be real—cool wasn't in his skill set. And if you had a girlfriend like Sersi, you'd be sweating bullets too.
Sersi had already met the team once, when Tony had tried to recruit her. Tony had been all charm, gadgets, and ego—basically the Tony Stark we all know and love. But Sersi? She didn't exactly fall for the pitch. She turned Tony down politely and left him looking like someone who'd just been dunked in cold water. Which, in Harry's mind, made her even cooler. But now she was Harry's girlfriend, and that was about to throw the whole Avengers Tower into an emotional whirlwind. And as if that wasn't enough, Clint was bound to have his usual witty commentary, and Tony? Well, Tony had never met an awkward situation he couldn't turn into an opportunity for a sarcastic remark.
The elevator doors slid open with a dramatic ding—probably intentionally to make an entrance. And there she was: Sersi, walking into the room like she owned the place. If elegance had a definition in the dictionary, it would have been a picture of Sersi. She was a living work of art, gliding into the room like a goddess who had forgotten more about grace than most of us would ever know. Harry, naturally, tried to maintain some semblance of composure, but good luck with that when your girlfriend was basically a walking celestial light show.
Tony Stark, master of swagger, blinked a few times, looking genuinely taken aback. "Whoa," he muttered under his breath, clearly caught off guard by her otherworldly charm. For a second, even he was struck dumb. And that was saying something.
Sersi approached Harry, her smile so disarming it could've melted a glacier. She took his hand with a warmth that made Harry's pulse race. "Hello, everyone," she said, her voice smooth as silk—so smooth that even the hardest Avengers might've melted a little.
Steve Rogers stepped forward first, because of course he did. The man was a born gentleman. "It's great to finally meet you, Sersi. Harry's told us a lot about you."
Sersi's smile didn't waver. "The pleasure's all mine," she said, her eyes sparkling like stars. Nope, no pressure there at all, Steve.
Thor, fresh off his latest Asgardian adventure and looking like he had just walked out of a Viking epic, was practically glowing with excitement. "Greetings, Lady Sersi!" he boomed, his voice carrying with all the authority of a thunderstorm. "'Tis an honor to welcome thee to our humble abode!"
Sersi's laugh was light and musical, like wind chimes in a breeze. "Thank you, Thor. I'm delighted to be here," she said, and honestly, it was like she was speaking in a melody.
Thor, in classic Thor fashion, threw in a bow so dramatic it nearly tore a hole in the space-time continuum. Yeah, this was going to be an interesting evening.
Then there was Tony, who couldn't help himself. He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, his curiosity now piqued. "So, Sersi," he began, the playful smirk back in place, "what's the deal with your 'Eternal' gig? What's your superpower or whatever?"
Before Sersi could answer, Clint, ever the instigator, jumped in. "Yeah, Sersi, spill it! What's your 'shtick'? I've heard stories about you, but I'm guessing there's more to it than just being super classy."
Sersi shot Clint a look that could have been a challenge—or maybe just a playful warning. Either way, Clint was having too much fun. "Well, Clint," she began with a grin, "let's just say I have a few tricks up my sleeve."
I bet you do, Harry thought, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He knew what was coming next.
Tony leaned forward, an interested glint in his eyes. "A few tricks, huh? Mind giving us a teaser?"
And just like that, Sersi raised a hand, and an orb of shimmering energy materialized between her fingers. The glow was so bright and mesmerizing that Harry felt like he was staring into the heart of the sun itself. It floated in the air, pulses of light creating patterns that danced like stars in the night sky.
"Behold," Sersi said with an air of theatricality, "the power of an Eternal."
Tony's jaw dropped. The room went quiet, every eye locked on the orb. Even Clint, who usually had something sarcastic to say, was too awestruck to comment.
"Color me impressed," Tony finally said, recovering his usual snark. "I see why Harry's so enchanted."
Sersi gave a small, graceful laugh. "Thank you, Tony," she said, and just as easily as she had created the orb, she dissolved it into a shower of sparkling motes, making the room look like it was raining stars.
As the glowing particles faded, Natasha, who had been quietly observing, spoke up. "So, we're dealing with a literal goddess here, huh?" she said, arms crossed, a wicked grin on her face. "Great. Just what we need."
Sersi's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Goddess? Hardly," she replied, her voice light but carrying that same charm. "I'm just a woman doing her best to live in this world, like all of you."
"Yeah, a woman who can make energy orbs and probably vaporize us all with a thought," Clint added, his grin wide. "You sure you're not holding out on us, Sersi?"
Harry couldn't help but snort at Clint's comment, and Sersi just shrugged, a look of mock innocence on her face. "I might have a few more tricks up my sleeve," she said, her tone just shy of teasing.
Bruce, who had been quietly observing from the back, finally chimed in. "Yeah, okay, I'm not the smartest guy here, but I'm guessing we'll have a lot of questions for you. Like, can you do anything with that orb? Like... turn it into a donut? 'Cause that would be impressive."
Everyone laughed. Even Tony's usual smugness couldn't hide the admiration in his eyes.
As the conversation continued, it was clear that Sersi wasn't just a powerful Eternal—she was someone who could hold her own with this group. And as Harry watched her interact with the team, he couldn't help but feel a swell of pride. His girlfriend wasn't just some mysterious figure—she was Sersi, and she was fitting in just fine.
The Avengers were going to have to brace themselves—this was going to be a fun ride.
—
Alright, if you thought this was the part where things started to calm down, you were wrong. In fact, things were about to get real—real fast. The Avengers Tower was buzzing with energy, but it wasn't the usual pre-battle adrenaline. No, this time it was the kind of energy you get when you're about to go on a mission with your entire team, and you don't know whether you're going to save the world or be the punchline of a bad superhero joke.
Captain America's voice rang out, slicing through the chatter like a shield to the face.
"Alright, Harry, Sersi," he said, his gaze sharp, like a dude who's been on more covert ops than he cares to admit, "what's the plan? What's our next move?"
I swear, this man could make even the most casual question feel like a press conference. And then, the thing about Cap was—he didn't just give orders, he made you want to follow them. But lucky for him (and everyone else in the room), Sersi was the one taking the lead.
She stepped forward, her presence like one of those ancient, forgotten forces of nature—undeniable and just as inevitable. You could practically see her own confidence radiating off her, like she was born to do this. She cleared her throat, and the room went dead quiet. Well, mostly. Clint gave an exaggerated yawn and muttered under his breath, "Please, tell me we're not going to hear another 'back in my day' speech."
Sersi raised an eyebrow, her voice smooth and cool like a glass of iced tea on a hot day. "Our mission," she began, pausing for dramatic effect, "is to track down and neutralize the Hydra operative who's behind the disappearance of Phastos and his family. If Hydra gets their hands on him... well, let's just say the fallout would make a Black Friday sale look like a walk in the park."
I had to admit, that was a pretty solid way to open. And the room didn't need much more of an introduction. Tony Stark's eyes practically bugged out of his head.
"Phastos?" Tony repeated, like he'd just found out that The Phastos was tied up in this mess. "I—uh, didn't know he was mixed up in this whole Hydra thing."
Sersi gave him a knowing look. "Yeah, Phastos is more than just a genius," she said, and I could feel the weight of her words in the air. "He's the kind of brilliant mind who could design a nuclear reactor before breakfast. And Hydra... well, they're going to want that kind of firepower on their side."
Tony straightened like a soldier called to attention, the usual cocky grin gone, replaced by that focused determination only he could pull off. "Alright, I'll stop pretending to be an idiot," he said, taking off his glasses and folding them in his hand. "We find Phastos, we bring him back safe, and we make sure Hydra doesn't turn his brain into a weapon. Got it."
Meanwhile, Clint was over in the corner, making sarcastic comments like it was his full-time job. "Wait," he called out, throwing up his hands, "so we're saving a guy who's basically Tony Stark before Tony Stark existed? Does that mean we get to raid his lab for all the cool toys?"
Sersi gave Clint a smirk that would've made most people back down, but Clint? Clint just threw his hands up, as if daring her to turn him into a toad.
"Clint," Tony interjected, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth, "The toys stay in the lab. But hey, if we're lucky, maybe we'll find some cool new gadgets on the way."
"Nice," Clint muttered. "I mean, sure, saving the day sounds all noble, but if there's cool tech involved, then I'm really on board."
Sersi ignored Clint's antics, her tone shifting back to business. "Hydra's not going to make this easy. We're going to need to be sharp and quick. And we're going to need to make sure Phastos' tech doesn't fall into their hands."
I could see the Avengers gearing up mentally for the challenge. Even Natasha, the queen of indifference, gave a curt nod and crossed her arms, ready to dive into whatever chaos the mission promised.
Thor, ever the dramatic force of nature, stood tall and raised his hammer like he was about to announce his next great victory. "Aye, Lady Sersi! We shall show Hydra the true power of the Avengers!" His voice boomed, clearly expecting applause. Or at least a couple of impressed glances.
"Thanks, Thor," Natasha deadpanned, not even looking at him. "I'm sure Hydra's terrified."
But Thor was already on the move, no time for banter now. "By the Allfather's beard, I shall smite them all with the fury of a thousand storms!"
"You know," Clint chimed in with a smirk, "if you don't tone it down, you're going to blow the roof off this place."
Bruce, who had been uncharacteristically quiet, cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. "I'll, uh, stay in the background for this one. Less smashing, more... thinking. Someone needs to keep the scientific brain in the loop."
"Look at you," Tony teased, "trying to be the responsible one. You're not fooling anyone, Bruce."
Bruce gave a sheepish grin. "I'm trying. Really."
As the team moved toward the exits, preparing for the mission ahead, I couldn't help but throw one last comment into the mix. "So, if we find Phastos and the world doesn't end in a fiery explosion of chaos... we all good for some celebratory pizza?"
Tony shot me a look that could kill if looks were lethal. "Please, Harry. You don't need pizza. You've got enough power in you to probably cook one with your mind. The rest of us mere mortals? We'll be fine with a slice."
"I'll take my pizza with extra sarcasm, please," Clint added, because of course he would.
With a collective smirk, we set off—no idea whether we were walking into the lion's den or just a really bad day at the office, but one thing was for sure: this mission was going to be one for the books.
And honestly, I did think we'd be back in time for pizza. But hey, in this line of work, expectations are just suggestions, right?
—
The room hummed with the usual Avengers energy—half urgency, half sibling-like teasing. Natasha, ever the professional, was already on her phone, tracking down the Hydra operative who'd snatched Phastos and his family, her fingers moving with a deadly precision that would make a hacker proud. Meanwhile, Tony and Clint, ever the dynamic duo of bad jokes and worse timing, couldn't resist turning the atmosphere into their personal comedy club.
"So, Harry," Tony began, his voice dripping with that smug, self-satisfied tone he wore like a suit, "how'd you reel in the Eternal? I'm guessing some magic, right? Or did you go full-on romance novel with candlelight and dramatic declarations?"
Clint, who had somehow perfected the art of leaning against a wall in a way that was both casual and annoyingly perfect, grinned. "Yeah, man, what's the deal? Was it your wizardry? Or just your... undeniable good looks?"
Harry leaned back, eyes sparkling with mischief, and threw them a wink. "Well, I do have a way with words that some find... particularly enchanting."
"Oh?" Tony leaned forward, eyebrow arched, his curiosity piqued. "And what exactly does that mean? Planning on casting a spell on us?"
Clint snorted, clearly loving this. "Yeah, spill, man. How do you make an Eternal fall for you? We gotta know your secrets."
Harry's grin grew wider, practically splitting his face in two, as he lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. "Let's just say... I have a special talent for speaking Parseltongue."
The room went dead quiet.
Tony blinked twice. "Did you just say... Parseltongue? Like, snake talk?"
Harry nodded, looking about as smug as a cat who'd just caught a mouse—and was now toying with it. "That's right. And let me tell you, it's not just snakes who find it interesting."
Clint's jaw dropped, his eyes going as wide as dinner plates. "Wait—snake talk? Dude, what does that even—"
"Oh, it's simple," Harry cut him off with a casual shrug. "Snakes communicate by vibrating their tongues. Very... sensual stuff, actually." He paused dramatically, his gaze flicking to Clint, then Tony. "It's kind of like... well, let's just say I've had some success applying it to... other areas."
Tony's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and Clint froze mid-smirk. The whole room seemed to collectively pause, everyone suddenly aware they might be hearing things they didn't sign up for.
The silence lasted exactly three seconds.
Clint was the first to recover, raising a hand and looking way too enthusiastic. "Whoa. That's how you got her? You've gotta teach me that trick."
Tony, meanwhile, wasn't sure if he was impressed or horrified. "You're telling me you've been using snake language to seduce Eternals?" His voice was a mix of disbelief and genuine fascination. "How do I even...?"
"Well," Harry said, straightening up, looking every bit like the person in the room with the biggest ego, "it's not just about the tongue. It's about knowing when to use it... and, uh, how to... vibrate it."
Clint choked on his own spit, while Tony's face twitched in an expression that was almost too complicated to categorize. Bruce, who had been quietly observing the exchange, finally spoke, his voice deadpan.
"Can we just, uh, focus on saving the world instead of discussing Harry's... special talents?"
Thor, who had been blissfully unaware of the full context, furrowed his brow. "Indeed! But I must admit, I'm curious about this vibrating tongue technique. Does it work on Asgardian women?"
Everyone's heads snapped toward him. Even Clint, usually immune to awkward situations, was now seriously questioning how he'd survived this long in the same room as the god of thunder. Harry, of course, wasn't one to let a good tease go to waste.
"You're welcome to try it, Thor," he said with a wicked grin. "But fair warning—it's a very specialized skill. You might need more than a hammer to impress anyone with that."
Sersi, who had been silently enjoying the banter, finally cleared her throat, her voice cutting through the chaos. "As amusing as this is, we do have a mission to attend to. Phastos and his family are in danger, and Hydra is closing in on them. Let's save the world first, and then we can discuss... Harry's enchanting ways later."
Tony, still chuckling under his breath, nodded. "Alright, alright, mission first, incredibly questionable conversation later. But seriously, Harry, you've gotta teach me that trick. I'm going to need it for my next date with Pepper."
"Not sure it'll work on her, Stark," Harry said with a grin. "She's a little more immune to magic than most."
Clint raised a finger. "So, no snake talk for Pepper? Got it."
The team gathered their gear, the levity of the moment still hanging in the air, but the weight of the mission bringing them back into focus. Phastos and his family were in danger. The stakes were real, but somehow, between the banter and the savage burns, the Avengers felt more like a team than ever. And as Harry adjusted his gear, ready to take on Hydra, he couldn't help but think—sometimes, saving the world was just a little more fun when you had a few jokes up your sleeve.
—
Natasha stood in front of the team, arms crossed, looking like a mix between a high school principal and someone who'd just finished dealing with a particularly annoying paperwork crisis. She wasn't here to mess around—her eyes said it all: "Listen up, or else."
"Alright, team," she began, her voice slicing through the room with the precision of a razor blade. "Our target is Ivan Petrov. He's a high-ranking Hydra operative, and if that name doesn't make your skin crawl, then I don't know what to tell you. Maybe try reading the news for once."
She pointed to the screen behind her, where Petrov's face appeared. His grin was a little too smug, like someone who'd just gotten away with stealing all your lunch money and somehow thought it was cute. "This guy is slippery. He's got a gift for dodging capture—makes Houdini look like an amateur. He's also tied to the disappearance of Phastos and his family. Oh, and for the cherry on top, he's holed up in some fancy Hydra fortress in Eastern Europe."
There was a brief moment of silence as the team processed the info. Clint looked at the screen, his expression somewhere between confusion and a mild headache. "Eastern Europe, huh? That narrows it down. Should we just try Google Maps and see what pops up?"
"Maybe we could use the 'finding evil lair' app," Tony chimed in, clearly not taking things seriously. "It's right next to the 'How to Become a Billionaire in One Easy Step' guide."
Natasha gave them the kind of look that said not now, but Harry couldn't resist. "I mean, why not just use one of Tony's satellites? Bet you've got a few of those that can locate a secret base or two."
Tony raised an eyebrow. "Oh, now you want to use my toys? Last time I checked, you were too busy charming Eternals with your snake talk to be interested in tech."
Harry leaned back, a wicked grin curling his lips. "I can multitask, Tony. Maybe I can teach you a few tricks... if you're brave enough."
Clint snorted, clearly enjoying the verbal sparring. "Look at you, Harry, the Parseltongue Prince—using snake magic to seduce women and now trying to impress us with your wizardry. What's next? You gonna turn a Hydra base into a giant snake pit?"
Harry gave him a look that was pure mischief. "I'm not saying I couldn't, Clint. But let's focus on saving the world first. Snake pits can come later."
Captain America—who, as usual, looked like he'd just stepped out of a recruitment poster for "America's Most Captain Captain"—stepped forward, his voice steady and commanding. "Let's stay focused, people. We've got a mission. We find Petrov, we get him, and we get the intel we need on Phastos and Hydra. Fast. Clean. Efficient."
Tony crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. "Sounds easy enough. As long as we don't get bogged down by snakes or Harry's charm tactics."
"Yeah, yeah, Stark," Harry said, rolling his eyes. "But you've gotta admit—snake talk is a pretty impressive skill. Might just be the reason we get past those Hydra guards."
Thor, who had been silently observing the exchange, nodded sagely. "Indeed! Perhaps there is more to your vibrating tongue than mere magic, young Harry. I shall consult with the wise snakes of Asgard for further training."
Everyone turned to look at him.
"Uh, Thor," Tony said, clearly unsure of how to proceed. "Maybe we'll save the snake wisdom for later."
"I don't know," Clint said, clearly delighted by the chaos. "Thor's onto something. Vibrating tongue sounds like it could be our secret weapon. Imagine the reconnaissance we could get."
Sersi, who had been observing with a quiet smile, finally spoke up, her voice cutting through the banter like a knife through butter. "As much as I enjoy watching you all banter like children, we do have a mission here. Phastos and his family are in danger, and we need to act fast. Hydra is not going to wait around for us to stop making jokes."
"Right," Natasha agreed, her expression finally softening just a little. "We need to move quickly and cleanly. Our mission is to infiltrate that Hydra fortress, get Petrov, and extract any intel he has. We don't know what kind of defenses are waiting for us, so let's be prepared for anything."
Bruce, who had been quietly nursing his coffee, finally put his mug down and looked at the team. "So... covert ops, but with some noise? Got it. I can be discreet. If by discreet, you mean smash."
"Leave the smashing to me, Big Guy," Clint said with a grin, tapping his arrows like a guy who really liked his job. "I've got a few quiet ones with Petrov's name on them."
Tony, who had been distracted by his phone for most of the meeting, now looked up. "Alright, alright. Plan's simple: we get in, grab Petrov, get the info, and get out. Minimal mess—except maybe for Harry's snake talk."
"Oh, trust me," Harry said, his grin a bit too smug for his own good, "I'll make sure there's no mess... unless it involves shutting down Hydra."
With that, the team gathered their gear, exchanging final glances and knowing that their banter would soon turn to action. The mission wasn't just a job—it was an opportunity to remind Hydra that the Avengers didn't just save the world... they ruined their plans while cracking jokes.
---
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