Omni manor 2
"Master Kazuki," Echidna said calmly as the footsteps drew nearer, "I believe we're about to witness the Manor's selection criteria in action."
The massive dining room doors burst open with enough force to crack the ornate wood. Standing in the doorway was a woman with long purple hair, an impressive figure barely contained by a chef's uniform, and an expression that wavered between confusion and excitement.
"WHERE AM I?" she demanded, brandishing what appeared to be a massive cooking knife. "AND WHY DO I SUDDENLY WANT TO COOK A FEAST FOR SOMEONE CALLED 'MASTER'?"
Lucoa waved cheerfully. "Hello there! Welcome to Omniversal Manor! I'm Lucoa! You must be our new friend!"
The newcomer blinked, taking in the scene before her—five extraordinary women seated around a table with an ordinary-looking young man, plus a talking cat statue perched among the dishes.
"I was just cooking for Lord Rimuru..." she said, knife lowering slightly. "And then there was this weird light... and now I'm here?"
"Spatial-temporal displacement," Nightingale observed clinically. "Common symptom among new arrivals."
Kazuki stood, trying his best to look welcoming rather than terrified of the knife-wielding woman. "I'm Kazuki Ren. This is, apparently, my house. Though I'm about as confused as you are about how it all works."
The woman stared at him intently. "You're... the Master?"
"That's what everyone keeps telling me," he confirmed with an awkward smile.
To everyone's surprise, the woman's entire demeanor changed instantly. The knife disappeared somewhere into her clothing, replaced by a beaming smile as she rushed forward with alarming speed.
"It's so nice to meet you!" she exclaimed, grabbing Kazuki's hand and shaking it enthusiastically enough to rattle his teeth. "I'm Shion, Chief Security Officer and personal secretary to Lord Rimuru Tempest! And now I guess I'm your cook too? That's what the shiny gold thing in the hallway said anyway!"
"Another rule-bound servant," Irene observed, sipping her drink with casual elegance. "How convenient for you, Master Kazuki."
"Security officer?" Albedo assessed the newcomer with professional interest. "Your combat capabilities?"
"Oh, I'm super strong!" Shion declared proudly. "I can crush boulders with my bare hands, and my swordsmanship is the best in Tempest! Well, except for Hakurou, but he's been training for like a hundred years so that's not really fair."
"Impressive physical parameters," Nightingale noted. "Subject appears resistant to normal human biological limitations."
"That's because I'm an ogre!" Shion explained cheerfully. "Well, a kijin now since Lord Rimuru evolved us, but still super strong!" She turned her attention back to Kazuki. "Speaking of cooking, are you hungry? I make the most amazing dishes! Everyone always has such strong reactions when they try my food!"
Several of the women exchanged glances at this peculiar phrasing.
"We're actually in the middle of breakfast," Kazuki explained, gesturing to the laden table.
Shion's expression fell momentarily before brightening again. "That's okay! I'll make lunch instead! Something really special to show off my skills!" She looked around eagerly. "Where's the kitchen in this place?"
"The last doorway on the left," Lucoa offered helpfully. "It's amazing! Has everything you could possibly need!"
"Though perhaps supervision would be advisable," Albedo added smoothly, something in her tone suggesting caution.
"Nonsense!" Shion declared. "I want my first meal for Master Kazuki to be a surprise! You'll be amazed, I promise!"
With that, she bounded out of the room with the same destructive energy with which she'd entered, leaving a moment of stunned silence in her wake.
"Well," Echidna finally said, "that was... invigorating."
"She seems nice!" Lucoa said brightly.
"Her enthusiasm is admirable," Albedo acknowledged, "though her methods appear somewhat... unrefined."
"Medical assessment indicates potential hazard to structural integrity," Nightingale observed. "Monitoring required."
Irene merely looked amused by the whole situation. "Your collection grows more diverse by the hour, Master Kazuki. I wonder what unifying principle guides the Manor's selections?"
All eyes turned to Regulus, who was now casually grooming himself in the center of the table.
"Don't look at me," the cat said without stopping his ablutions. "I merely observe and occasionally narrate. I don't control the guest list."
"But you know more than you're telling," Kazuki accused.
Regulus paused, marble head tilting. "I know many things. Whether they would be helpful for you to know is another question entirely."
"You're worse than Echidna," Kazuki muttered.
The witch in question raised an elegant eyebrow. "I choose to take that as a compliment."
A distant crash from the direction of the kitchen, followed by what sounded like maniacal laughter, caused everyone to wince.
"Perhaps," Albedo suggested, rising gracefully from her chair, "we should supervise after all."
"I'll help!" Lucoa volunteered cheerfully. "I love cooking with friends!"
"Wait," Kazuki said, suddenly realizing something. "Shion mentioned a 'shiny gold thing' with rules. Is the plaque moving around the Manor?"
"The manifestation of the rules appears in multiple locations simultaneously," Echidna explained. "I've observed it in at least three different places this morning alone."
"The Manor ensures all guests understand their obligations," Albedo confirmed. "An efficient system."
Another crash from the kitchen, louder this time.
"Potential culinary disaster in progress," Nightingale noted, also rising. "Fire hazard probability: high."
As everyone moved toward the door, Regulus called after them: "Oh, by the way—you might want to check the eastern observatory after lunch. I think you'll find the next arrival quite... enlightening."
"I thought you didn't control the guest list," Kazuki said suspiciously.
The cat's marble eyes gleamed. "I don't. But I do have excellent pattern recognition."
Before Kazuki could press further, Shion's voice echoed down the hallway: "NO! THE PURPLE ONES ARE DEFINITELY EDIBLE! LORD RIMURU ONLY PASSED OUT FOR A LITTLE WHILE LAST TIME!"
"We should hurry," Irene suggested, a hint of amusement playing around her lips. "Before your Manor requires reconstruction."
The kitchen, when they reached it, resembled a disaster zone. Ingredients were scattered across every surface, mysterious liquids bubbled in pots that occasionally changed color, and in the center of the chaos stood Shion, beaming with pride as she stirred something that emitted an ominous green smoke.
"Master Kazuki!" she exclaimed upon seeing him. "Perfect timing! I'm making my special Ultra-Deluxe Surprise Stew! It'll be ready by lunch!"
"Is it supposed to be moving like that?" Kazuki asked cautiously, pointing at a pot whose contents were pulsating rhythmically.
"That means it's working!" Shion assured him. "The more it moves, the more flavor it has!"
Nightingale was already scanning the concoction with one of her medical devices. "Unknown biological signatures detected. Potential biohazard."
"It's not a biohazard, it's seasoning!" Shion protested. "I added some special mushrooms I found in that weird forest room down the hall!"
"You gathered ingredients from an interdimensional pocket reality?" Albedo asked sharply.
"They looked tasty!" Shion defended. "And they changed colors when I picked them, which usually means they're extra flavorful!"
"Or potentially lethal to human physiology," Echidna noted with academic interest rather than concern.
"Perhaps," Irene suggested diplomatically, "we should collaborate on lunch preparation. A... fusion of our various culinary traditions."
"Ooh, cooking party!" Lucoa clapped her hands excitedly. "I make amazing tacos! And my margaritas are literally divine!"
"Alcohol is counterindicated during daylight hours," Nightingale objected.
"Proper dining requires formal presentation," Albedo added. "Not... chaos cooking."
"But cooking is supposed to be fun!" Shion insisted, stirring her ominous mixture with increased vigor. "And surprising!"
As the women began a heated debate about proper food preparation techniques—ranging from Nightingale's clinical nutrition approach to Shion's creative chaos to Albedo's formal dining protocols—Kazuki found himself backing slowly toward the door.
"I'll just... let you ladies work this out," he said, though no one seemed to be listening anymore.
Echidna appeared beside him, having also extracted herself from the culinary argument. "Escaping while you can? Wise."
"I just need a moment to process... everything," Kazuki admitted as they slipped into the hallway together.
"Processing is my specialty," Echidna replied with that mysterious smile. "Perhaps a walk would clear your mind? The Manor has developed some fascinating new wings since this morning."
Warning bells rang in Kazuki's mind. Being alone with the Witch of Greed seemed potentially unwise, especially after the warnings from the others.
"Actually, I think I'll explore on my own for a bit," he said carefully. "But thanks for the offer."
Echidna's smile didn't waver, but something flickered in her eyes—amusement, perhaps, or appreciation of his caution.
"As you wish, Master Kazuki. Though I hope we'll have a chance for another private conversation soon. I find your... perspective quite refreshing."
With that, she glided back toward the kitchen, leaving Kazuki alone in the corridor.
Or so he thought.
"Prudent decision," came Regulus's voice as the cat statue materialized on a nearby windowsill. "The witch's interest in you is genuine, but seldom without cost."
"Are you following me?" Kazuki asked irritably.
"I am everywhere in the Manor," Regulus replied. "Following implies separation that doesn't exist."
"That's not creepy at all," Kazuki muttered, choosing a random direction and starting to walk.
The cat kept pace, somehow always appearing on the next surface along Kazuki's path without visibly moving. "You're adapting remarkably well to your new circumstances. Most humans would have suffered complete psychological collapse by now."
"Give it time," Kazuki said dryly. "The day is still young."
To his surprise, Regulus laughed—a strangely melodious sound from a stone throat. "Indeed it is. And full of possibilities."
The hallway they were traversing suddenly widened, the ceiling arching higher as the Manor shifted around them. Doors that hadn't been there moments before appeared along the walls, each one unique—some modern, some ancient, some made of materials Kazuki couldn't identify.
"What's happening?" he asked, watching as the corridor continued to transform.
"The Manor is... anticipating," Regulus explained. "Preparing."
"For what?"
"For whom," the cat corrected. "Your collection grows, Master Kazuki. The Manor expands to accommodate."
"They're not a collection," Kazuki objected. "They're people. From other worlds, sure, but still people with their own lives and purposes."
Regulus's marble eyes studied him with new interest. "That perspective may be precisely why the Manor chose you."
Before Kazuki could ask what he meant, one of the doors—a sliding paper door that looked distinctly Japanese—opened of its own accord. Beyond it was not a room but what appeared to be an actual zen garden, complete with carefully raked sand, artfully arranged stones, and cherry trees in full bloom despite the physical impossibility of such a space existing inside the Manor.
"I believe," Regulus said softly, "you have been invited."
Something about the garden called to Kazuki—a sense of peace that had been notably absent since this whole bizarre experience began. Without conscious decision, he found himself stepping through the doorway.
The moment he entered the garden, a profound stillness enveloped him. The chaos of the Manor seemed distant, as if separated by more than mere physical space. Cherry blossoms drifted lazily on a breeze that carried the scent of incense and something older, something that reminded Kazuki of ancient temples and forgotten wisdom.
Seated on a stone bench beneath the largest cherry tree was a woman. Slim and elegant, with short dark hair and eyes that held a depth of experience at odds with her youthful appearance. She wore a simple kimono of red and white, and there was something about her stillness that suggested she had been waiting specifically for him.
"Kazuki Ren," she said, her voice soft yet perfectly clear. "I wondered when you would find this place."
"You know me?" Kazuki asked, approaching cautiously.
"I know of you," she corrected. "The Manor speaks, in its way, to those who listen."
"And you are...?"
"Shiki Ryougi," she introduced herself with a slight incline of her head. "Though names have always seemed somewhat inadequate, don't you think? Labels we attach to things that are ultimately beyond definition."
"Another guest?" Kazuki asked, glancing around for the golden plaque of rules.
Shiki followed his gaze, a hint of amusement touching her lips. "Yes, though I arrived some time ago. I simply preferred to observe before introducing myself."
"You've been here watching us?" Kazuki wasn't sure whether to be disturbed or impressed.
"Not in the way you imagine," she assured him. "I've been... acclimating. This Manor exists partially in the void, touching multiple realities simultaneously. It creates a unique resonance that takes some adjustment."
Kazuki sat down on the bench beside her, keeping a respectful distance. "You seem to understand this place better than I do."
"Understanding implies separateness," Shiki replied. "I simply accept what is. The Manor is. You are. I am. The nature of those existences may be fluid, but the fact of them remains constant."
"That's... profound, I think," Kazuki said, trying to follow her logic.
A ghost of a smile crossed Shiki's face. "Or merely obvious, depending on one's perspective." She turned to face him more directly. "You're overwhelmed by your new circumstances."
It wasn't a question, but Kazuki answered anyway. "Completely. Yesterday I was a normal high school student. Today I'm supposedly the master of an infinite manor with women from across the multiverse appearing to... what? Serve me? It's absurd."
"Why?" Shiki asked simply.
The question caught Kazuki off guard. "What do you mean, why?"
"Why is it absurd that you should be at the center of something extraordinary? What makes you so certain of your ordinariness?"
"Because I am ordinary," Kazuki insisted. "Average grades, average looks, average life. There's nothing special about me at all."
"Perhaps that is precisely what makes you extraordinary," Shiki suggested. "In a multiverse of beings desperately trying to be special, true ordinariness becomes the rarity."
"That doesn't make any sense," Kazuki protested.
"Doesn't it?" Shiki's gaze was penetrating yet not uncomfortable. "The Manor chose you, Kazuki Ren. Not despite your ordinariness, but because of it."
A cherry blossom drifted down, landing perfectly in the center of Kazuki's palm. As he stared at it, trying to process Shiki's words, the blossom seemed to pulse once with an inner light before dissolving into motes of light that sank into his skin.
"What was that?" he asked, startled.
"A gift from the Manor," Shiki said calmly. "An anchor point, to help you navigate the chaos to come."
"There's more chaos coming?" Kazuki asked weakly.
Shiki's expression softened slightly. "There is always more chaos. The question is whether we ride it or are consumed by it."
From somewhere beyond the garden came the distant sound of what might have been an explosion, followed by alarmed shouting in multiple feminine voices.
"Speaking of chaos," Kazuki sighed, "I should probably go see what that was."
"Probably," Shiki agreed, making no move to rise. "Though sometimes observation is more valuable than intervention."
"You're not coming?"
"I'll join the others when the time is right," she said. "For now, I believe you're needed in the kitchen. Shion's culinary experiment has taken an... unexpected turn."
Another explosion, definitely from the direction of the kitchen, punctuated her statement.
"How did you know—" Kazuki began, then shook his head. "Never mind. Thank you for... whatever this was."
Shiki inclined her head slightly. "We will speak again, Kazuki Ren. When you have more questions and fewer assumptions."
As Kazuki hurried back toward the main part of the Manor, guided by the increasing sounds of chaos, he couldn't shake the feeling that his conversation with Shiki had been significant in ways he didn't yet understand. There had been something different about her compared to the other guests—a stillness at her core that seemed untouched by the Manor's madness.
The moment he stepped back into the main corridor, the relative peace of the zen garden vanished, replaced by the clamor of multiple powerful women trying to contain what sounded like a culinary disaster of epic proportions.
"MASTER KAZUKI!" Shion's voice called out cheerfully despite the chaos. "YOU HAVE TO TRY THIS! IT ONLY EXPLODED A LITTLE BIT!"
"Patient zero-six exhibiting signs of culinary delusion," came Nightingale's clinical assessment. "Containment protocols initiated."
"The eastern wing may require complete reconstruction," Albedo reported with terrifying calm. "Again."
Kazuki took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and headed toward the disaster zone. Whatever ordinariness had defined his previous life, it was clearly a thing of the past. Now he had a manor to manage, reality-bending chaos to contain, and a growing collection of extraordinary women who seemed determined to pamper him to death.
"Welcome to my harem, I guess," he muttered to himself as he pushed open the smoking doors to the kitchen. "Day two... and counting."
Chapter 5: Cat and Mouse in the Library
After the kitchen disaster had been contained (requiring Albedo's tactical planning, Nightingale's hazardous material expertise, and Irene's ability to magically neutralize whatever had gained sentience in Shion's stew), Kazuki found himself seeking refuge in the Manor's vast library.
The space had expanded since his last visit, shelves now stretching impossibly high and far, creating a labyrinth of knowledge that seemed to contain books from every conceivable reality. Some volumes glowed, others whispered, and a few appeared to be watching him as he passed.
"Finally, a moment of peace," Kazuki sighed, collapsing into a plush reading chair that adjusted itself to perfectly support his posture.
"Peace is such a relative concept," came a sultry female voice from somewhere among the stacks.
Kazuki jumped to his feet. "Who's there?"
A throaty chuckle was his only answer, followed by the soft sound of bare feet moving across polished wood. Someone was circling him, just out of sight.
"Show yourself," he demanded, trying to sound more authoritative than he felt.
"Mmm, there's a bit of spine after all," the voice purred. "I was beginning to wonder."
A woman emerged from between two towering bookshelves—tall, dark-skinned, with purple hair and golden eyes that held both amusement and calculation. She moved with the fluid grace of a predator, wearing what appeared to be a form-fitting black bodysuit that left little to the imagination.
"Like what you see, Master Kazuki?" she asked with a knowing smirk as she caught him staring.
Kazuki felt his face heat up. "I, uh... who are you?"
"Yoruichi Shihouin," she introduced herself with a small, mocking bow. "Former captain of the Stealth Force, former commander of the Onmitsukidō, current... well, let's just say I'm between jobs at the moment." Her grin widened. "And apparently your newest servant, according to that amusing golden plaque."
"You're not a servant," Kazuki corrected automatically. "None of you are. You're guests who are... temporarily bound by some cosmic rules I don't understand."
Yoruichi raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Not enjoying your harem, then?"
"It's not a harem!" Kazuki protested, his blush deepening.
Yoruichi laughed—a rich, warm sound that somehow made Kazuki both more embarrassed and more at ease simultaneously.
"Relax, kid. I'm just teasing you." She prowled closer, moving in a casual circle around his chair. "So what's your story? How does an ordinary high schooler end up master of an interdimensional manor?"
"I wish I knew," Kazuki admitted, sinking back into his chair. "I just woke up here yesterday. Everything was... transformed. And then you all started arriving."
"Fascinating," Yoruichi mused. "And you have no special powers? No hidden abilities? No secret heritage as the long-lost prince of some magical kingdom?"
"None whatsoever," Kazuki confirmed. "Completely ordinary in every way."
"Now that," Yoruichi said, perching herself on the arm of his chair with casual intimacy, "is the most interesting thing I've heard since arriving in this place."
Her proximity was slightly overwhelming—she radiated a confident energy that made the air around her feel charged. Kazuki tried to maintain his composure.
"Why is my ordinariness interesting to everyone?" he asked. "Shiki said something similar earlier."
"You've met the knife girl already?" Yoruichi asked with raised eyebrows. "She's been keeping to herself since I arrived. Interesting."
"How long have you been here?" Kazuki questioned. "I thought the new arrivals were making themselves known right away."
Yoruichi stretched languidly, reminding Kazuki strangely of a cat. "I like to get the lay of the land before making my entrance. Old habits from my stealth days." She winked at him. "I've been watching you all for hours."
"That's not creepy at all," Kazuki muttered.
"It's practical," Yoruichi corrected. "And enlightening. Your little collection of females is quite the powerhouse. Gods, demons, witches, warriors... and yet they all seem content to play house for you." Her golden eyes studied him intently. "Why do you think that is?"
"The rules on the plaque—"
"Rules can be broken," Yoruichi interrupted. "Every single woman in this Manor has the power to ignore those rules if she really wanted to. There's something else at work here."
Before Kazuki could respond, a new voice joined the conversation—cool, collected, and subtly dangerous.
"An astute observation from the former Stealth Force commander."
Both Kazuki and Yoruichi turned to find Echidna standing between two bookshelves, watching them with that eternally amused expression.
"Witch of Greed," Yoruichi acknowledged, not seeming surprised by the appearance. "Eavesdropping on private conversations?"
"In a library?" Echidna's smile widened slightly. "I was merely pursuing knowledge, as is my nature. Your conversation happened to be particularly... educational."
"I bet," Yoruichi said dryly, not moving from her perch on Kazuki's armrest. "And what do you think about our host's theory of 'cosmic rules' binding us here?"
"I think," Echidna said, gliding closer, "that rules are merely expressions of deeper principles. The surface manifestation of fundamental truths."
"Translation: there's more going on than a magical plaque telling powerful women to make lunch for an ordinary teenager," Yoruichi summarized.
"Much more," Echidna agreed. Her eyes fixed on Kazuki. "The question is whether our host is as ordinary as he believes, or if his ordinariness itself is the extraordinary factor in this equation."
"Is everyone going to talk about me like I'm not here?" Kazuki asked with mild exasperation.
Both women turned to him with matching expressions of amusement.
"My apologies, Master Kazuki," Echidna said smoothly. "We supernatural beings sometimes forget our manners around humans."
"Speak for yourself, witch," Yoruichi countered. "I was just getting to know our host." She placed a casual hand on Kazuki's shoulder, her touch warm and strangely electric. "So, Master Kazuki, what shall we do today? I'm at your service, according to those fascinating rules."
The way she said "service" made Kazuki's face heat up again. "I, uh, was just hoping for some quiet time to think, actually."
"Thinking is good," Echidna approved. "Questions lead to knowledge, and knowledge to understanding."
"And understanding to power," Yoruichi finished. "Though sometimes action teaches what contemplation cannot."
A subtle tension stretched between the two women, like predators assessing each other's territory. Kazuki had the distinct impression he was the territory in question.
"Perhaps," Echidna suggested, "Master Kazuki might benefit from exploring the Manor's new eastern observatory. I believe Regulus mentioned it earlier."
"The talking cat statue?" Yoruichi's eyes narrowed slightly. "I've been watching him too. He knows more than he's sharing."
"An understatement," Echidna agreed. "But his suggestion may still have merit."
"Fine," Kazuki said, standing up. "Let's check out this observatory. It has to be better than another kitchen explosion."
As they left the library, he couldn't help noticing how both women positioned themselves on either side of him, like escorts—or guards. Despite their outward civility, something in their postures suggested neither fully trusted the other.
The Manor seemed to have reconfigured itself again during Kazuki's time in the library. Corridors stretched in new directions, rooms had been rearranged, and entire wings appeared to have shifted orientation. What should have been a simple walk became a complex navigation through spaces that sometimes defied conventional geometry.
"This place exists partially outside normal space-time," Echidna commented as they passed through a hallway where the ceiling appeared to be the night sky. "The physical layout is more suggestion than reality."
"I noticed," Kazuki said dryly as they turned a corner to find themselves suddenly walking upside-down along the ceiling, gravity apparently having reoriented itself without warning. "Does this happen often?"
"The Manor seems to be in an unusually active state of flux," Echidna observed. "Perhaps responding to the accelerated guest arrivals."
"Or testing us," Yoruichi suggested, completely unfazed by the gravitational shift. "Seeing how we adapt to changing circumstances."
After several more reality-bending turns, they finally arrived at what had to be the eastern observatory. Unlike the previous one Kazuki had visited (where he'd first encountered Albedo), this space was vast and open, with transparent walls and ceiling revealing not the sky but what appeared to be the space between universes—swirling cosmic patterns in colors that shouldn't exist, punctuated by lights that might have been stars or something else entirely.
And in the center of the room, examining what looked like an impossibly complex telescope, was a woman. Tall and powerfully built, with dark skin, silver-violet hair, and an outfit that combined elements of traditional Japanese clothing with something more futuristic. She carried herself with the unmistakable authority of a teacher or mentor.
She looked up as they entered, her intense red eyes assessing each of them in turn before settling on Kazuki.
"So," she said, her voice carrying both warmth and steel, "you're the Master of this fascinating realm."
"That's what everyone keeps telling me," Kazuki replied, growing slightly tired of repeating his circumstances to each new arrival. "Though I'm as surprised by it as you probably are."
To his surprise, the woman laughed—a genuine sound of amusement rather than mockery.
"Honesty. Refreshing." She approached with confident strides, extending a hand in a Western greeting. "I am Scáthach, Queen of the Land of Shadows and trainer of heroes. Though it seems today I am to be your... servant?" Her tone made it clear how unlikely she found this arrangement.
"Please, just call me Kazuki," he said, shaking her hand and finding her grip firm but not crushing. "And you're not a servant. You're a guest who's... temporarily bound by some weird cosmic rules."
"Yes, I encountered the golden proclamation shortly after my arrival," Scáthach confirmed. "Most unusual magic. Not binding through force but through... resonance? Fascinating."
"You can sense how the rules work?" Echidna asked, sudden interest sharpening her voice.
Scáthach turned her attention to the witch. "I've trained heroes for centuries, Witch of Greed. I recognize the feel of destiny-shaping magic."
"Destiny, huh?" Yoruichi leaned casually against a nearby console. "So we're all part of some grand cosmic plan centered around our ordinary host here?"
"I said nothing of plans," Scáthach corrected. "Destiny is rarely so structured. It's more like... a current in a river. The direction is set, but the path taken is determined by countless smaller choices and circumstances."
She turned her gaze back to Kazuki, studying him with the experienced eye of someone who had assessed countless potential heroes.
"You have no combat training," she observed. "No magical ability. No special heritage or bloodline power."
"Completely ordinary," Kazuki confirmed for what felt like the hundredth time.
"And yet," Scáthach mused, "the current flows around you. Interesting."
Before the conversation could continue, the doors to the observatory burst open once again. Nightingale stood in the doorway, lamp in hand, expression even more severe than usual.
"Master Kazuki," she said without preamble, "your presence is required immediately. Security situation developing in the main hall."
"What kind of security situation?" Yoruichi asked, instantly alert.
"New arrival," Nightingale reported. "Exhibiting extreme emotional volatility. Potential structural damage in progress."
"Another one?" Kazuki exclaimed. "How many people is this place going to pull in today?"
"The rate of acquisition appears to be accelerating," Nightingale confirmed. "Current guest count: nine and increasing."
"Nine?" Kazuki did a quick mental count. "Nightingale, Albedo, Echidna, Lucoa, Irene, Shion, Shiki, Yoruichi, and now Scáthach... that's nine already."
"Correct," Nightingale nodded. "And arrival ten is currently threatening to, quote, 'blow this entire ridiculous mansion to the netherworld' unless she receives an explanation."
"We should hurry," Scáthach suggested, moving toward the door with purpose. "Some arrivals adapt better with proper guidance."
As they rushed toward the main hall, following Nightingale's lead through the Manor's ever-shifting corridors, Kazuki couldn't help feeling that things were spiraling further out of control with each passing hour. What had begun as a bizarre but somewhat manageable situation was rapidly becoming a cosmic-scale farce.
"Why is this happening?" he asked nobody in particular as they descended a grand staircase that definitely hadn't been there before. "Why me? Why these specific women?"
"All excellent questions," Echidna commented, keeping pace easily despite her formal attire. "Perhaps our newest guest will provide some insights."
"Or just more chaos," Yoruichi added with what sounded suspiciously like anticipation.
They turned a final corner into the main foyer, where a scene of contained chaos awaited them. Albedo stood at the forefront, her expression coldly professional as she faced off against the newest arrival. Behind her, Lucoa and Irene flanked a terrified-looking Shion, while Shiki watched from the shadows of a nearby doorway, her expression unreadable.
And in the center of it all, radiating an aura of power that made the air itself feel heavy, was a woman with long blue hair, wearing a skimpy outfit that consisted mostly of white and blue fabric that barely covered the essentials. What truly drew the eye, however, was not her lack of clothing but the palpable divine energy that surrounded her like a crackling force field.
"Master Kazuki!" Albedo called when she spotted him. "The newest guest refuses to acknowledge the Manor's authority."
"That's because this is obviously a trap!" the blue-haired woman exclaimed, pointing dramatically at Kazuki. "Some devious devil must have constructed this entire scenario to capture beings of divine power like myself! Well, it won't work! I, Aqua, goddess of water and guide to the afterlife, cannot be contained by mere magical architecture!"
She struck a pose that was probably intended to be impressive but came across as slightly ridiculous given the circumstances.
Kazuki approached cautiously, hands raised in a placating gesture. "Nobody's trying to trap you, Aqua. We're all in the same situation here. The Manor brought us together for reasons we don't understand yet."
"Hmph!" Aqua crossed her arms. "That's exactly what someone running a divine goddess trap would say!"
"Is she serious?" Yoruichi muttered from behind Kazuki.
"Unfortunately, yes," came a new voice—male this time.
Regulus sat on the bannister above them, tail swishing with obvious amusement. "The goddess Aqua. Powerful beyond measure and yet... how shall I put this delicately?"
"Intellectually challenged?" Echidna suggested.
"Hey!" Aqua protested. "I heard that! I'll have you know I'm incredibly smart!
"I'll have you know I'm incredibly smart! I'm a goddess! I've guided countless souls to the afterlife! I can purify any undead with a single touch!" Aqua continued, her voice rising dramatically. "This is clearly a conspiracy to harness my amazing powers!"
"Yes, clearly," Echidna murmured, not bothering to hide her amusement.
Kazuki took a deep breath. The manor was filling with increasingly powerful and increasingly eccentric women at an alarming rate. At this point, he was beyond questioning why and just trying to prevent open warfare in his magically expanding home.
"Aqua," he said as calmly as possible, "nobody is trying to trap you. We're all stuck here together because of some cosmic... thing... that none of us understand. If you just read the rules on the golden plaque—"
"Rules?" Aqua scoffed, tossing her blue hair dramatically. "Gods don't follow rules made by mysterious plaques! Rules follow me!"
Albedo's patience was visibly wearing thin. "The rules apply to all guests, regardless of alleged divinity."
"Alleged?!" Aqua gasped, clutching her chest as if mortally wounded. "How dare you! I am the goddess Aqua, beloved by millions, feared by the undead, revered by—"
"Perhaps a demonstration would be more convincing than words," Scáthach suggested, stepping forward with the quiet authority that commanded attention without raising her voice.
Aqua eyed her suspiciously. "What kind of demonstration?"
"The Manor responds to the Master," Scáthach explained, gesturing toward Kazuki. "If this truly is a trap, then it would stand to reason that Kazuki would have some control over your divine powers, would he not?"
"I... well, yes! That would make sense," Aqua agreed, latching onto this logic with surprising enthusiasm. "So if he can't control my powers, this isn't a trap!"
Kazuki shot Scáthach a grateful look. "Exactly. I have absolutely no ability to control or limit your powers, Aqua."
"Prove it!" Aqua demanded, pointing dramatically at a decorative fountain in the foyer. "Try to stop me from controlling this water!"
Without waiting for a response, she extended her hands toward the fountain. The water immediately responded, rising in elaborate spiraling patterns that defied gravity and physics alike. Glowing with a soft blue light, the water formed shapes—birds, fish, dragons—that moved with life-like animation.
"See?" Aqua declared triumphantly. "My divine powers remain intact! Now try to stop me!"
"I can't," Kazuki said honestly. "I have no magical abilities whatsoever."
Aqua's water display faltered slightly as confusion crossed her face. "Wait, really? None at all? But you're the Master of this magical place!"
"That's what we've all been trying to figure out," Yoruichi said, leaning casually against a pillar. "Why someone completely ordinary would be at the center of all this."
"Ordinary?" Aqua let the water splash back into the fountain as she approached Kazuki, peering at him with intense scrutiny. "You're right! He is ordinary! Extraordinarily ordinary! The most ordinary person I've ever seen!"
"Thank you for that assessment," Kazuki muttered.
"But that doesn't make sense," Aqua continued, circling him like he was a puzzling artifact. "Why would a cosmic manor bind divine beings like myself to serve someone so... basic?"
"The very question we've all been contemplating," Echidna commented. "Perhaps it's precisely his ordinariness that makes him the perfect focal point."
Aqua's eyes widened suddenly. "Or maybe..." She gasped dramatically. "Maybe he's actually a sealed ancient deity who's forgotten his true identity, and we're all here to help restore his godhood through devoted service!"
A moment of silence followed this proclamation.
"That... is actually not the worst theory I've heard today," Irene admitted with some surprise.
"It would explain the Manor's interest," Albedo acknowledged reluctantly.
"Wait, what?" Kazuki sputtered. "I'm not a sealed deity! I'm just a regular high school student!"
"Exactly what a sealed deity would say!" Aqua declared, suddenly excited by her own theory. "Don't worry, Kazuki! I, the great goddess Aqua, will help restore your divine powers through my excellent divine service!"
Her complete reversal from suspicion to enthusiasm was dizzying. Before Kazuki could protest further, Aqua had grabbed his hand.
"First, as dictated by the sacred rules, I shall attend to your relaxation!" she announced, dragging him toward the staircase with surprising strength. "Divine bath and massage techniques passed down through the celestial realm for eons!"
"That's really not necessary—" Kazuki began, but Aqua was already pulling him up the stairs with the unstoppable force of a goddess on a mission.
"Patient requires recovery period following stress exposure," Nightingale observed, following them. "Supervised relaxation therapy acceptable."
"The Master's schedule does include personal care time this afternoon," Albedo noted, also moving to accompany them.
"This should be entertaining," Yoruichi smirked, falling into step behind them.
Soon, half the manor's occupants were following Kazuki and Aqua up the staircase, all apparently invested in this impromptu relaxation session.
"Is everyone coming?" Kazuki asked weakly, looking back at the procession of extraordinary women trailing behind him.
"The rules state that guests must attend to the Master's relaxation," Echidna reminded him with that enigmatic smile. "We're simply fulfilling our obligations."
"All at once?"
"Divine massage requires divine assistance!" Aqua declared, continuing to pull him along corridors that seemed to expand and shift to accommodate the growing parade.
They eventually arrived at a door Kazuki hadn't seen before—massive and ornate, carved with symbols from what appeared to be multiple mythologies and cultures. It swung open at Aqua's approach, revealing a bathhouse that defied architectural possibility.
The space within was enormous—a series of steaming pools at different levels connected by small waterfalls, surrounded by tropical plants and stone pathways. The ceiling appeared to be open sky, though Kazuki knew they were still inside the manor. Soft, ambient light came from glowing crystals embedded in the walls, and the air was thick with fragrant steam.
"Behold!" Aqua announced proudly, as if she had created the space herself. "The perfect venue for divine relaxation techniques!"
"Impressive," Scáthach acknowledged, surveying the room with critical appreciation. "The Manor continues to surpass expectations."
"Hydrotherapy offers numerous health benefits," Nightingale noted, already testing the water temperature with clinical precision. "Though proper sanitization protocols must be maintained."
"I'll prepare the massage area," Lucoa volunteered cheerfully, moving toward a raised platform on one side of the room where plush cushions and various oils were arranged.
"This is really not necessary," Kazuki protested, though his objection lacked conviction. After the chaos of the last twenty-four hours, the thought of relaxation was admittedly appealing.
"The Master requires regular therapeutic intervention to maintain optimal functioning," Albedo stated matter-of-factly. "The rules are explicit on this matter."
"And I am excellent at following rules!" Aqua declared. "When they align with my divine purposes, of course."
What followed was perhaps the most elaborate relaxation ritual ever conceived. Competing ideas from different cultures, realities, and species created a bizarre but oddly effective amalgamation of techniques.
First came the bath—water purified by Aqua's divine powers, infused with healing herbs selected by Nightingale for their medicinal properties and aromatic oils contributed by Irene that "rejuvenate life essence at the cellular level." Kazuki was allowed to undress and enter the water in relative privacy, though the concept of privacy seemed increasingly theoretical in the manor.
The water itself felt like liquid relaxation, easing tensions he hadn't even realized he was carrying. As he soaked, Lucoa and Irene engaged in a spirited debate about proper massage techniques.
"In my culture, we use dragon-fire warmed stones along the energy meridians," Lucoa explained, demonstrating with stones that glowed with inner heat.
"Primitive," Irene replied with an elegant shake of her head. "True relaxation requires enchanted oils that penetrate to the arcane framework of the body itself."
"Why not combine approaches?" Echidna suggested from where she sat, observing everything with scholarly interest. "The convergence of multiple methodologies might yield superior results."
"Patient requires scientific approach, not mystical experimentation," Nightingale objected, arranging her own collection of medical-looking oils and tools.
After thirty minutes of soaking—during which Aqua entertained everyone by creating elaborate water sculptures that acted out what she claimed were "scenes from Kazuki's forgotten divine past" but looked suspiciously like episodes from popular anime—it was apparently time for the massage.
Kazuki, wrapped in what felt like the softest towel in existence, was led to the massage platform where an elaborate negotiation had resulted in a division of labor. Nightingale would supervise to ensure "medical standards," Irene would provide the enchanted oils, Lucoa would apply them with her "divinely trained hands," and Aqua would... well, Aqua would provide running commentary and occasional water effects for ambiance.
The other women had arranged themselves around the room in various poses of casual observation that weren't casual at all. Albedo watched with the intensity of a quality control inspector. Yoruichi had perched herself on a high rock, seemingly relaxed but missing nothing. Scáthach observed with the critical eye of a trainer assessing technique. Shiki remained in the shadows, her presence felt more than seen. Echidna sipped tea and took mental notes with undisguised fascination.
"Face down, please!" Lucoa instructed cheerfully as Kazuki settled onto the massage table, carefully arranging his towel to maintain some modesty. "These oils are specially formulated to relax muscle groups humans don't even know they have!"
"Is that safe?" Kazuki asked nervously.
"Absolutely!" Lucoa assured him. "Probably! I mean, you're still technically human, right? Even if you are a sealed deity?"
"I'm not a—" Kazuki began, but his protest transformed into an involuntary groan of relief as Lucoa's hands, slick with Irene's iridescent oil, pressed into his shoulders with perfect pressure.
"See? Your divine body remembers proper care!" Aqua declared triumphantly.
Whatever response Kazuki might have made dissolved as Lucoa's massage technique proved to be nothing short of miraculous. Her hands found knots of tension he didn't know existed, applying precisely the right amount of pressure to release them without pain. The oil itself seemed to heat and cool in waves, penetrating deeply and carrying what felt like tiny electrical currents of relaxation through his muscles.
"The posterior trapezius exhibits significant tension," Nightingale observed clinically. "Increase pressure by 20% at the superior angle."
"Like this?" Lucoa asked, adjusting her technique.
"Acceptable," Nightingale confirmed.
"The oil needs to be applied in a spiral pattern to activate its full properties," Irene instructed, demonstrating the motion with elegant hands. "It follows the etheric currents of the body."
"His etheric currents are actually quite unusual," Lucoa noted as she followed Irene's guidance. "They flow counter to normal human patterns in several meridians."
"Evidence of his sealed divine nature!" Aqua proclaimed excitedly. "I knew it!"
"Or evidence of the Manor's influence," Echidna suggested. "His connection to this place may be altering his fundamental patterns."
Kazuki should have been concerned by this discussion of his apparently abnormal energy patterns, but the massage had reduced him to a state of boneless relaxation. Whatever these women were doing, it was working miracles on muscles strained by twenty-four hours of interdimensional stress.
"The paraspinal muscles show asymmetrical development," Nightingale continued her clinical assessment. "Compensatory pattern suggesting prolonged poor posture."
"From hunching over schoolbooks and games, no doubt," Yoruichi commented from her perch. "Our ordinary Master has the typical physical development of a studious teenager."
"That will need to be corrected," Scáthach stated with the authority of a trainer. "A proper physical regimen would benefit his overall functioning."
"I could design a training program," Yoruichi offered. "Something suitable for beginners but with room for advancement."
"Patient requires graduated introduction to physical conditioning," Nightingale agreed. "Sudden intensive training would risk musculoskeletal injury."
"Are you all... planning my exercise routine now?" Kazuki managed to ask, his voice muffled against the cushions.
"Of course!" Lucoa replied cheerfully, her hands working magic on his lower back. "Part of proper care is making sure you're in optimal condition!"
"The Master's well-being is our primary concern," Albedo added. "Physical conditioning is merely one aspect of comprehensive care."
"I'm not complaining about the massage," Kazuki clarified, "but I don't remember agreeing to a full lifestyle overhaul."
"The rules state that guests must attend to the Master's needs," Echidna reminded him, amusement clear in her voice. "They don't specify that the Master must explicitly request each service."
"Convenient interpretation," Kazuki muttered, though without much conviction. It was hard to be properly indignant while experiencing what had to be the most effective massage in multiple universes.
"The rules were designed with flexibility in mind," Regulus's voice commented from somewhere nearby, though Kazuki couldn't see the cat statue from his position. "Much like a good massage technique."
"Does anyone respect privacy in this place?" Kazuki asked the room at large.
"Privacy is a remarkably recent human concept," Echidna observed. "Most supernatural beings find it rather quaint."
"Turn over, please!" Lucoa instructed, having apparently completed work on his back. "Time for the frontal muscle groups!"
With some embarrassment but too relaxed to put up much resistance, Kazuki carefully turned over, making sure the towel remained strategically placed. Lucoa's hands, freshly coated in Irene's enchanted oil, began working on his shoulders and chest with the same miraculous effectiveness.
"The pectoral development is minimal," Nightingale assessed. "Upper body strength training indicated."
"His core strength isn't bad," Lucoa noted more charitably. "Good foundation to build on!"
"I can see potential," Scáthach agreed, her trainer's eye evaluating Kazuki's physique. "With proper guidance, he could develop respectable capabilities, even without supernatural advantages."
"Are you all just going to stand there commenting on my body?" Kazuki asked, face heating despite his relaxed state.
"Would you prefer we leave?" Albedo inquired with perfect politeness.
Put that way, Kazuki realized he didn't actually want to be left alone with just Lucoa, Nightingale, and Irene—not because they weren't trustworthy, but because in this strange new reality, the presence of all these powerful women had become oddly reassuring.
"No, it's fine," he sighed. "Commentary accepted."
"His humility is commendable," Irene observed with a slight smile. "Most men placed in a position of authority over beings of our caliber would become insufferable quite quickly."
"Perhaps that's why the Manor chose him," Scáthach suggested. "The ordinary vessel with extraordinary adaptability."
As Lucoa's hands worked their magic on his arms and then legs (carefully avoiding anything that might cross from therapeutic to inappropriate), Kazuki found himself settling into an almost meditative state. The various conversations around him—Aqua's grandiose proclamations about his supposed divinity, Nightingale's clinical observations, Albedo and Irene's debate about proper service protocols—became a soothing background hum.
For the first time since waking up in the transformed manor, he felt something approaching peace. Not because the situation made any more sense, but because he was beginning to accept that it didn't have to. Whatever cosmic force had thrown them all together, fighting it seemed both futile and, increasingly, unnecessary.
These women, for all their overwhelming power and personalities, weren't his enemies. They weren't even really his servants, despite what the rules proclaimed. They were fellow travelers in an inexplicable journey, bound together by circumstances none of them fully understood.
As this realization settled over him, Kazuki became aware of something strange. The manor itself seemed to be responding to his thoughts, the ambient lighting shifting to a warmer glow, the sound of water becoming more harmonious, the very air growing somehow more comfortable.
"Fascinating," Echidna murmured, noticing the change. "The Manor responds to his emotional state even more directly than I hypothesized."
"Emotional resonance," Shiki spoke for the first time since entering the bathhouse, her quiet voice drawing everyone's attention. "The connection deepens."
"What connection?" Kazuki asked, opening eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed.
"Between you and the Manor," Shiki explained simply. "Between you and us. Between what is and what could be."
"Always with the cryptic statements," Yoruichi commented, though not unkindly. "Can't you ever give a straight answer?"
"Some truths resist straightforward expression," Shiki replied with a slight shrug.
"I think what knife-girl is trying to say," Aqua interpreted with surprising insight, "is that Kazuki's getting more connected to this place, and that's making it respond to him better! Which totally supports my sealed deity theory!"
"Whether deity or not," Scáthach said thoughtfully, "the bond is undeniable. And growing stronger."
The massage concluded with Lucoa applying a final layer of oil that seemed to sink into Kazuki's skin with a pleasant tingling sensation, leaving him feeling both energized and deeply relaxed—a paradoxical state he wouldn't have believed possible before experiencing it.
"How do you feel, Master Kazuki?" Lucoa asked brightly as she stepped back, wiping her hands on a towel.
"Amazing," he admitted. "Whatever you all did, it worked wonders."
"Divine techniques never fail!" Aqua declared proudly, as if she had done the massage herself rather than just providing theatrical water effects.
"The combination of approaches proved most effective," Irene noted with satisfaction. "Cross-dimensional collaboration has its merits."
"Patient exhibits optimal relaxation response," Nightingale confirmed after checking his pulse. "Therapeutic goal achieved."
As Kazuki sat up, carefully securing his towel, he noticed something odd. The bathroom had changed during his massage. What had been a large but relatively straightforward bathhouse had expanded into something far more elaborate—multiple chambers visible through archways, each with different types of baths, pools, and relaxation areas. The ceiling, which had shown a generic blue sky, now displayed what appeared to be the aurora borealis, shimmering in colors that shouldn't be possible.
"The Manor approves of our care techniques," Echidna observed, noting the changes as well. "It's rewarding us with expanded facilities."
"This place really does respond to emotions," Kazuki marveled, looking around at the increasingly elaborate surroundings.
"To your emotions specifically," Yoruichi corrected. "Notice how it changed most dramatically when you finally relaxed and accepted the situation?"
"A quantum-entangled response system," Echidna theorized. "Reality conforming to expectations and emotional states."
"Or simply magic," Irene suggested with elegant practicality. "Not everything requires scientific explanation."
"All phenomena have explanations," Nightingale countered. "Whether currently understood or not."
"Ladies," Scáthach interrupted before another philosophical debate could begin, "perhaps we should allow the Master to dress before continuing this discussion?"
Kazuki shot her a grateful look. "Yes, please. As fascinating as interdimensional architectural theory is, I'd prefer to have it fully clothed."
This request was met with various reactions ranging from Aqua's dramatic sigh of "Humans and their modesty taboos!" to Albedo's immediate organizational response of "The Master will have privacy in the eastern chamber. Appropriate attire has been prepared."
As the women filed out—some more reluctantly than others—Kazuki found himself alone for the first time in hours. The "eastern chamber" Albedo had mentioned turned out to be a changing room with amenities that would make a luxury spa envious, including what appeared to be clothing selected by each of the manor's guests:
A precision-tailored suit that could only be Albedo's choice, a comfortable but medical-grade loungewear set obviously selected by Nightingale, what looked suspiciously like ceremonial robes from Irene, casual but perfectly fitted modern clothes from Yoruichi, a traditional Japanese outfit from Shiki, and what appeared to be divine regalia picked by Aqua (complete with a small note reading "For when your deity powers return!!!").
Kazuki opted for the casual modern clothes, which felt most like his normal style while being significantly nicer than anything he'd owned before. As he dressed, he couldn't help smiling at the competing outfits—each reflecting the personality and priorities of the woman who had selected it.
"They're really trying, in their own ways," he murmured to himself.
"Indeed they are," came Regulus's voice as the cat statue materialized on a nearby shelf. "Each according to her nature and understanding."
"Do you ever knock?" Kazuki asked, though with less irritation than before.
"Knocking is for those constrained by conventional physical boundaries," Regulus replied, repeating his earlier sentiment. "But I can respect your desire for privacy, even if I find it conceptually puzzling."
"Thanks, I think." Kazuki finished buttoning his shirt. "So what happens now? The manor keeps pulling in more people until we're packed wall to wall with supernatural women from across the multiverse?"
Regulus's tail swished thoughtfully. "The pattern appears to be approaching a stable configuration. The initial acceleration phase is likely concluding."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, dear Master, that your collection is nearly complete. Just a few more key pieces to acquire."
"They're not pieces of a collection," Kazuki corrected automatically. "They're people. Very strange, incredibly powerful people, but still people."
"And that," Regulus said, marble eyes gleaming, "is precisely why the Manor chose you."
Before Kazuki could press for clarification, another tremor ran through the building—stronger than previous ones, making the walls ripple like liquid before solidifying again.
"What was that?" Kazuki demanded, grabbing a shelf for support.
"The next phase begins," Regulus replied cryptically, already fading from view. "You might want to hurry back to the others. Things are about to get... interesting."
"More interesting than they already are?" Kazuki called after the vanishing cat.
Only a lingering chuckle answered him as he hurried to rejoin the manor's other occupants, bracing himself for whatever new cosmic absurdity awaited.