The way that it would work was that the nurturing element ability user would be expected to marry into the nurtured element ability user's family.
It worked that way so that those born from those unions would remain in the appropriate families.
An example would be that those of the wood clan family would marry into the fire clan family.
Just as wood would nurture fire, fire would nurture earth, earth would nurture metal, metal would nurture water, and then water would nurture wood.
It would follow that pattern each time, so that each child born from such unions would be born a Balancer with an ability that would have the same element as the family it was born into.
The other method that could be used was having outsiders marry into the families since the the powerful bloodlines of the five great families would not be affected by others as a result of their bloodline being a dominant trait.