"If you had the power to change everything...what would you change?"
It was an unreasonable question to ask a child of only eight summers, given how little said-child would have lived and how slowly they could comprehend. To a young one, such a question would sound completely absurd.
However, for some reason, on the evening of my eighth birthday, among the glamour of the imperial palace, the cheers that resonated throughout the lower city and the festivities that set the skies alight, I was asked this question.
"If you had such power,"
Mother had carried me gently as she spoke, her arms enclosed around me in a cocoon of warmth, my head playfully resting against her shoulder. The soft fur of her jeweled cape tickled the skin of my nose making me giggle, and soon, we stood by one of the several gilded terraces that overlooked the capital.
Gentle as always, she sat me down on the cold wrought iron railing, securing my little frame with her gloved hands. I smiled at her, happy at being held by mother for the first time, and I wanted her to see how happy she made me. However when she turned towards me, her eyes were blank and tired, they quickly flew past mine, looking out to the brightly lit city before us.
"What would you change my darling?"
Her eyes turned to mine, the beautiful green eyes that were a unique trait of the Colborne family. And mother's resembled the loveliest plants in fathers garden. I thought of a multitude of things to say inorder to please mother as she anticipated my answer, her attention completely fixed on me. It had been an age since we spoke and I missed her dearly, the only gift I truly wanted was to be with her on this day. But now that we were together, she asked strange things, things nanny never taught me to answer.
"Hhhmm," she said with a tired smile, touching her gloved fingers to my cheeks, "Even I wouldn't know what to change," Her words were quiet.
"But I wish I'd never done it at all, maybe then...I would not have to change a thing."
When she smiled again it was forced and I frowned. She turned away towards the city, lit with a thousand lights, and the smile faded from her lips as quickly as it came, leaving me to wonder in my childish thoughts,
'Just why is mother always so sad'.
* * *
My name is Adelaide Ralia Exandria, and once upon a time, I was the first princess of Isladon.
However, the number of people that treated me as a princess could be counted on one hand, and the reason is simple...I was a worthless and forgotten person.
Although it was many years ago, there was a time when I wasn't forgotten, when I, like my step brothers and sisters, was happy and loved.
I remember how father once doted on me, and how he did so much to make me happy. Sometimes we would play together for hours, go riding on his horse, rummage through the royal kitchens in search of pastries, or spend time drinking tea in his reserved garden. There were days I'd play in father's study while he busied himself attending the affairs of the kingdom. Back then, whatever it was, whenever I asked, father appeared and gave.
And the nobles, oh how they fawned. An attempted betrothal here, another there, with flattery and gifts galore.
It was an understatement to say I was the most loved child in the imperial palace. My four younger siblings, and even the high queen quickly grew jealous of our fond relationship, but father wasn't bothered by them, and his love shielded me from their contempt.
Untill it happened.
On the year I turned eight, everything slowly spiralled out of control. At that time I did not quite understand what or how it happened, all I knew was that after my birthday, I was no longer allowed to see father, and the Colborne's were slaughtered for treason.
Still it made no sense to a little me, at least until I discovered what treason was and what slaughtered meant. Mother's family was gone. Not long after mother too was arrested for treason, and charged with bewitching the king.
When the kingsguard came for her I was beyond frightened. For the first time in my life, they ignored me, grabbed hold of mother and pulled her away, despite her struggles. That day even nannies tenderness could not keep me calm.
Mother's charges were quickly investigated, and it was discovered she had connived with her father, and through the use of sorcery, poisoned the kings mind and gained his coerced affection. The worst part was her confession, she was guilty as charged.
In less than three months, the Colborne family were completely wiped out, generations and history lost to the greed of an old man with the aid of magic and his foolish daughter, my mother who fell from queen to criminal, in a matter of days.
By the vain mercies of the high queen, I was taken to see my mother for the last time, on the day of her execution. Stiff with fear at the sight of the crowds that cursed and stoned her, I was made to watched as she was led to the guillotine. My mother whose beauty far surpassed that of the high queen had been reduced to a body bag of dirty, lifeless bones.
The priest said a final prayer as guards fastened her hands in binds and guided her head into the lunette, I cried and watched confused, as the crowds jeered harshly at her, spitting curses, while calling her all sorts of things.
At the height of my terror, my eyes met the green ones that I loved so much, the ones that shared the same color as the finest leaves in fathers garden, but this time, there was no beauty left in them. Mother's left eye was red and bloody, while the other- was twice it's original size, and could hardly open at all.
I cried, mother cried...
And in one swift motion, the blade fell, taking her head clean off her shoulders.
I screamed on end that day, and it was the very first time I'd seen so much blood, and our final meeting became a memory that would haunt me for years to come.
As one would expect, mother's execution was truly the beginning of my short life of misfortune.
Father, whose affection for me was pure and unconditional, soon turned a blind eye to my plight. Although I was pardoned of the Colborne's crime as a member of the imperial family, my blood would forever be tainted by my mother's, who came to be remembered in history as the bewitcher, the villianess, and father hated me for it.
Loosing the kings favor, left an innocent, eight years old me, alone and unprotected. Without the love of father, I lost the favor of the court, as well as all kindness I was ever shown. Everyone, from the nobility who were once servile flatterers, to the knights that had been kind, and the previously humble servants, everyone left me.
Under the orders of the queen, everything of worth was stripped from me, my titles, position, and home, till nothing of importance remained. Then I was banished to the abandoned garnet palace, where in isolation, my beloved nanny and I lived quietly for eighteen years.
Till I went and fell in love.
"Ru--f-us,"
I gasped, terrified by the sight of blood that rushed out of my mouth, it tasted bitter, and was unnaturally thick, with a vile black colour, one that left me stunned.
'He's poisoned me.'
The pain came next, a horrible searing pain that spread from my throat to my chest, I choked and coughed, more putrid blood running down my lips.
'No it's impossible, he couldn't have...he couldn't have,' I refused to believe the man I love would do this, that he would be so cruel.
But one look at his face, the cold look he tried to muster and the rigidness in his calm green eyes, smashed all my doubts against the marble ground, like the shattered wine glass.
Unable to withstand the pain the poison wreaked on my body, I slumped, falling weakly to the ground.
"Am sorry," he whispered, his voice so low I could hardly catch wind of his words, yet somehow I could feel my heart being torn apart by them.
'He poisoned me, it is truly him. Oh gods why?'
In my broken heart I wailed. I cried, I screamed and cried even more, my
tears were cold and they clouded my vision, as my body convulsed in pain.
'Why you...why did it have to be you? Why me' I mourned, watching him despite my fading sight. After the hell I'd survived in the walls of the imperial palace, after gaining my freedom despite the impossibilities, they still wanted me dead...
But why... what wrong did I ever commit. Why use my husband against me...
"I had no choice." He said, his voice shaking towards the end.
The bitter part of it all was that I believed him, and I felt even more sorry for him. He-who was forced to marry a destitute princess, he-who fell in love with a worthless person like me...
My husband, whose hands were forced to poison the woman who carried his child, was there a fate more terrible.
I looked at him, the pain tearing through my body like a thousand knives, but the hurt in my chest was much worse. My right hand fell to my stomach, were the little one we had conceived rested. My womb that would have been their shelter, would now be their grave.
My little one I loved dearly, and I would never get to see...why Rufus? Why?
Amidst the anger, confusion and pain, I knew, deep down, I knew it wasn't his fault, my husband whom I loved dearly was only an innocent puppet and it made me hurt so much more.
Our eyes met for the last time and I wheezed, reaching out to him. I wanted to say it, I wanted to tell him that it was no fault of his. I wanted him to know that he was completely forgiven.
"Ru-uu..." But the words never left my lips, as my last breath escaped me.
My name is Adelaide Ralia Exandria, and once upon a time, I died.